


Stalker

by Ultimate_Otaku_Girl



Series: Komahina fluffs [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Boys In Love, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Kissing, Komahina - Freeform, M/M, Romance, Smut, Smut maybe someday who knows, Souda is being a dork, Stalking, Stalking AU, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2018-12-20 16:50:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 51,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11925099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultimate_Otaku_Girl/pseuds/Ultimate_Otaku_Girl
Summary: Hajime Hinata is a plain, normal guy who doesn't feel confident about himself. He has a one good (and sadly only) friend Souda Kazuichi. One day Hinata starts feeling stalked by someone and that so called "someone" is none other than Nagito Komaeda himself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My friend encouraged me to write it and I was like.. yeah, why not xD I feel that there are plenty of that kinds of fics where Komaeda stalks Hinata, but.. I just wanted to write my own one. It won't have many chapters I think, since I have plenty other ongoing fics. Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy it. If you do, I'll be delighed to read your comment <33 I-I mean.. if you want to leave one, don't feel forced x3

_My name's Hajime Hinata. I'm a normal, plain guy. I have no talents, neither something which would make me special or extraordinary. When I look into a mirror, I get bored of my own reflection. I don't look bad, I don't look good._  I sighed, while turning on the other side in my bed.  _But it seems that even someone like me can surprisingly have a stalker._  Shivers ran down through my whole body.  _I really don't understand it. I can't understand that person._  I frowned.

 _Well.. I can be mistaken about having a stalker, though._  I yawned, stretched my hands above my head and got out of the sheets sitting at the edge of my bed lazily.  _I've never seen them with my own two eyes after all. Maybe someone just wants to mess with me..?_  I smiled sadly and ruffled my messed up hair with intention to fix it, but as soon as I stood before a mirror in my bathroom I realized that I probably made it look even worse. But I didn't really care.

Suddenly my phone buzzed. I looked at the display reluctantly.

**Souda: Hey, dude.. Wanna hang out?**

**Souda: I'm boooreddd..**

I smiled unconsciously. Souda could be pretty annoying sometimes, but he actually was my only friend. I dressed up quickly and wanted to write him back, but then the phone buzzed once again.

**Souda: I'm before your door already, so I don't care if you're up to it or not :p**

Maybe a few seconds had passed, before I heard a loud knock on my door.

**Souda: Dudeee, move your as and open that damn door**

**Souda: *ass**

His messages started annoying me, so I finally let him in. He had that shark smile plastered to his face, as always. I highfived with him and so we went to the living room. We talked about some random things like machines.. well, more like Souda talked to me about them. But I didn't mind it. Machines and his "princess" Sonia Nevermind were almost the only things about which he talked, so I grew used to it already years ago.

"Hey, Hajime.. are you even listening..?" the pink haired man waved his hand before my eyes. I blinked a few times in surprise. "O-oh.. I'm sorry." I smiled awkwardly. "I just have something on my mind." I looked away from him focusing my gaze on a small plant in the corner of the room. I noted in my head that I need to water it later, because it was at the verge of death. 

He frowned. "What's wrong? Man, you can tell your friend everything!" he smiled widely and hit my back softly. I groaned in displease. I didn't feel like telling him about the stalker issue. It seemed so unrealistic. I had some proofs that I'm not crazy, but.. still.

I cleared my throat. "W-well.." I looked at him seriously. "Promise that you won't laugh." Souda looked at me puzzled. "Sure, yeah.. I won't." I took a deep breath trying to gather some courage. "It seems.. that.." I gulped nervously. "I.. I-I-" Souda interrupted me. 

"D-don't tell me.. are you in love with me?" he faked being embarrassed and then bursted with laugh. I looked at him with annoyance written all over my face. "I'm sorry, Hajime.. I can't return your feelings." he sighed. "Sonia is the only one who I can truly love." he smiled dreamily.

"Heh.. very funny." I forced myself to smile and glared at him angrily. "As if I ever could fall in love with such a dork." I smirked. I loved our little teasing games. Those were pretty funny. Especially since I almost always had the last word. 

He looked down in defeat. "Okay, okay.. I'm not gonna tease you ever again, so dude.. don't be so mean to me..." he pouted. "Anyways. Tell me what's wrong." he stopped smiling.  _It seems that he finally is willing to hear me out._

"Well.. you know.. I think that someone is stalking me." I looked completely serious at him. His eyes went blank. "What? What the fuck..? Dude.. are you sure?" he frowned. I coughed in embarrassment. "E-ehh.. well.. not really?" I smiled unsurely. "What made you think that someone is stalking you in the first place?" he looked a bit disturbed. I didn't blame him. Why would anyone stalk a 21-year-old salary man whose life so far was more boring than a documentary?

I decided to tell him everything since the very beginning:

_It all started three months ago. Firstly, I felt that someone was sneaking behind me on my way home from the job. I of course ignored it, since everyone feels a bit paranoid from time to time. I felt like this only a few times in week anyway, so it didn't seem disturbing. I grew used to that feeling and totally ignored it with time._

_It became worse a month later. I started noticing a dark shadowy figure holding a flashlight behind my window in the night. I could hear loud footsteps outside my house.. once or twice I swear that I heard a sound of the knob being turned. It all was creepy. I couldn't sleep at night. I was cautious all the time, seeking a potential danger._

_The next quite disturbing thing was that.. some of my belongings went missing. Like.. my favourite tie (I have spares, so I wasn't that sad), my ugly doodles which I was making, while the stress was too big to be bearable, my.. underwear. And other not so important things. It seemed that whoever was in my house, they weren't after valuable objects nor cash._

_The last thing.. was a note. I found it laying casually on my bedside table. The paper was plain, white, the handwriting.. neat and beautiful. The meaning of the note.. pretty scary. There was written on it: I'll make you mine, Hajime~_

_There was even a small, cute heart drawn instead of the dot above the letter "i" in the word "mine"._

Souda was frowning all the time, while I was telling him about the stalker. "..." he wasn't saying anything for a longer while. "Can I.. see that note?" he asked unsurely.

I blushed and looked away from him. "What's wrong with it?" he asked cautiously. "See it for yourself.." I pulled the note out of my pocket. I realized at that moment that something was clearly wrong with me.  _Why do I have it folded so nicely in my pocket as if it was something important to me..? Why am I.. not disgusted by that person? It can be some creepy disgusting old man.. or a serial killer who has chosen me as his next victim. At what point exactly have I started to empathise with the stalker?_  I sighed.

I handed the note hesitantly to Souda. He unfolded it and soon his face became pale. "Oh my... WHAT THE HELL?!" I smiled a bit. Although the words written on the paper were seriously mad, they somehow.. were making me happy? And.. a bit excited even? I wasn't sure. All that I could understand was that I didn't really want the stalker to disappear. That all situation was actually pretty interesting.

Though.. yeah. I was disturbed. I couldn't be sure, if I was safe at my house. "D-dude.. call the police or something. Change the lock to your front door or move the hell out of this city! Who knows what that person will do to you, if you won't do something about it.." 

I shrugged. "Pffft.. I don't really care. I appreciate your concern, though. Thank you for hearing me out, I feel way better now." I smiled soothingly and snatched the note away from him in order to put it back to my pocket a second later.

"..Hajime? If I were you, I'd burn that note down." Souda raised one eyebrow. "Mhm.. sure. I'll think about it." I crossed my arms. I didn't like being told what to do more than anything. 

He sighed. "You're weird, but well... we're friends, since primary school, so it's not like I haven't known about it." he laughed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Stalker's POV**

I stood before his door and started lock picking it. I wasn't good at such things, but I was lucky enough to make the door open each and every time.  _It seems that even the fate wants us to be together, hehe~_

I quietly closed the door after myself and stood before Hinata's bed looking down at his sleeping face, while smiling warmly. I reached my hand to his dark hair, but stopped it midway. I wanted to touch him, feel the warmth of his skin, feel how it is feels to kiss him.. but I contained myself. If he woke up, while being kissed by some guy, who had just broken into his house, he  _definitely_  would call the police.

And if that happened.. in the best scenario I would be restricted from even trying to get near him. 

I bit my lip painfully, I felt tears running down my face.  _No! I-I need to see Hajime every day!_  I sobbed.  _I need him.. he's my everything... I want him._ I smiled lovingly at him.  _The fact that he doesn't remember who I am, doesn't stop me._  "Hajime, I love you..~" I whispered to his ear and went to his bathroom.

**Hinata's POV**

I woke up in the middle of the night. Sweat was pouring out of me excessively, as if I had a fever, but I didn't.  _I didn't._  I just.. had a weird dream. In this dream there was nothing more than darkness. That wasn't weird itself. What was weird, was what I heard.

I heard a voice.. soft, melodic voice humming something quietly into my ear. 

It sounded.. creepy, but cute? I remembered hearing my own name and some light footsteps too.  _Huh.. strange dream._

I went back to sleep not bothering myself too much with it.  _It was just a dream, wasn't it?_  I smiled a bit, closed my eyes and cuddled up to my pillow.

When the morning light poured into my room, I opened my eyes lazily. I didn't feel like standing up. My bed was so.. comfy and fluffy. But I had to stand up. Unfortunately, I had to go to my job soon.

I went to the bathroom and stood before the mirror. There was some red dirt on it. I couldn't focus my eyes on it, because I still felt somehow tired and not aware. I washed my face with some icy cold water and looked at the mirror once again. The "dirt" wasn't plain dirt actually.  _Dirt doesn't form into words, I think.._  I still wasn't really conscious, I wasn't a morning person after all.  _Maybe.. my brain is just playing tricks on me?_  I laughed awkwardly and washed my face yet again. Then the moment of realization came to me out of blue. 

Weird dream. Bizarre yet endearing voice of a stranger. Footsteps. The dirt on my mirror. It all could be simply explained by one word -  **Stalker.**

 _H-holy fuck.._  I still had my face in the stream of cold water. I quickly took it out of it and nervously dried my face with a towel. I was curious about that so called dirt.

There was written at the edge of the mirror:  _Good morning, Hajime. I hope you have slept well ♡_

 _The heck. A-as if good morning... not when I found your message._  I suddenly realized something scary.  _Was that person.... looking at me in the night? Like.. o-observing..?_  My eyes widened. I imagined someone standing next to my bed and just looking at me.  _For how long were they doing it? Hour, two, three? Through all the night?_  I felt a cold shiver running down my spine. I breathed in and out to calm down.  _I-it's fine.. I'm fine. Everything WILL be fine._

When I managed to get a grip I looked once again at the words.

 _They are written with.._  I touched the message unsurely.  _With a crimson red lipstick._  That made me think that the stalker was a girl actually. "A girl, huh..." I pondered for a moment and used all of my deduction skills or at least tried to. 

I thought about everything I knew about them so far: the person's footsteps were light, voice soft yet low, resembling a purr of a big cat. The person was hard to spot, so they had to be rather young, light or just skillful. That was all I could think of. I couldn't guess their gender basing on the facts I had known so far. 

Although I had too less evidence, something inside of me (call it a gut feeling) was telling me that this whole situation would be too simple if it was a teenage, sneaky gril stalking me for fun or something.

A sudden thought came to my mind.  _I.. really wouldn't be glad, if the stalker was a girl. I'm not interested in those cliché love stories between young girls and their crushes. It's not like I'm gay, but.._

 _Wait. Seriously..? I can't be thinking about that crazy fucker in a romantic way... I-I can't! I looked into the mirror._  My cheeks were rosy.  _F-fuck.. Hajime, you're an idiot. Have you seen the stalker? You haven't. Why are you blushing then?_  I pouted, while trying my best to not blush harder.  _What if all that they want is to just end_   _my_ _pathetic life..?_

But.. trying to think logically was pretty hopeless. The pink tint didn't want to come off from my face. 

I slapped my cheeks and shook my head.

  ♥♥♥  

The rest of the day was ultimately boring compared to the horrifying morning. My work clearly wasn't the highlight of my day. After job.. as always, I felt stalked on my way home. This time would be the same as all the other ones, if I.. didn't notice a shadow that was quite out of place. A weird, yet alluring shadow of a tall person. In the place where the hair should be, I saw a pretty uncommon shape. I deducted that this person must've had some really fluffy hair. 

_I wonder.. i-is it... my stalker's shadow?_

Even though I tried to keep a calm face, I was close to being really freaked out to be honest. I'd run away, if not my stupid man pride. I decided some time ago to not let my stalker see that I had known about them already before. I... yes, was disturbed by them obviously, but.... somehow... I didn't want to startle them? I wanted to know why they had been stalking someone like me in the very first place, before they would stop doing it.  

 _Maybe there's something interesting about me?_  I laughed quietly not really believing in what I had just thought in my head.  _Pffft, it's impossible..but still. I want to know their reasoning.. what made them stalk a 21-year-old salary man who doesn't do anything interesting that would be worth stalking..?_  The stalker seemed way more interesting than me. The fact that they had been stalking  **me**  was enough to make them interesting after all, right?

As I casually approached my house and opened the door with the key, I had a feeling, or more like I was more than sure, that the stalker would break in to my house that night as well. Day by day they had been becoming more and more offensive. 

I still hadn't been feeling ready to confront them face to face, but... I did have a good idea in my head which could help me to get more data about that person.

My glorious idea was to not fall asleep that night.

I was pretty proud of myself that I came up with such idea to be honest. It was a really stupid plan though which only had gotten me into more trouble. 

I didn't know at what hour exactly would they feel confident enough to break in, but I was ready to don't get any sleep that night. I was going to wait patiently for them.

Hour passed.. another hour. And nothing. I didn't give up despite them not appearing so far. I was sure that they would break in eventually. My intuition told me so and I had decided to put my trust in it already days ago.

Suddenly.. I heard a strange sound.  _That must be the sound of my lock being picked, right?_  I smiled awkwardly to myself. The door opened slightly and I could hear as someone was sneaking into my house.

I felt scared. My heart was racing. I started sweating, because I couldn't bear that feeling anymore. I was done with that feeling already at the very beggining. 

I closed my eyes tightly.  _The sneaking person is well.. obviously the stalker. After all, who else could it be..? Souda?_  I wanted to laugh, but I couldn't. I needed to keep the fact that I wasn't asleep as a secret no matter what.

I could trust only my sense of hearing, since the moon was too bright that night. If I opened my eyes, I could risk being find out. I really didn't want to know what would they do to me, if I was found out.  _O-oh no.. hell no!_   _I need to act well my sleeping self._  I softly turned on the other side and breathed deeper to convince them that my sleep was already very deep.

"Hello, Hajime.." I heard that melodic voice, same as in my dream. I was noting all the facts in my head.  _I'm not ready to set a trap for them yet, but I'll someday and tonight I'll gather some more information about the person which is so sickly interested in me..._

My brain connected some dots. The voice didn't belong to a female. Yes, it was melodic and kind of sweet, but not feminine at all. I could say with 100% confidence now, that the stalker indeed was a guy. 

Although I tried to play it cool and so on.. I was at the edge of my endurance. It was my first time experiencing something that felt so unrealistic. I had been feeling so fucking frightened and anxious, since they had broken in, that I was trembling in my bed and secretly hoping that my little quivers wouldn't be noticed. 

"Oh dear.. do you have a bad dream?" I heard the voice a bit closer this time. He was probably kneeling next to my bed... which wasn't making me relived. AT ALL. I tried to not move nor show any sign of being awake. "I would love to hug you.." he almost purred. 

Then, judging by his footsteps, he was just walking around my room aimlessly. "You're such a messy boy, Hajime.." he sighed in disappointment. "If I had more confidence, I would try to hire myself as your maid~" he laughed cheerfully. 

Suddenly the sound of the footsteps stopped. "Hajime... a-am I doing something wrong? Is it wrong that I love you..?" my cheeks heated up. It was hard to tell if his words made me happy or not. Let's say that I was just taken aback. "Heh.. you won't answer me, I know.." he laughed rather insanely. "You are asleep after all~" I felt more than just some shivers at hearing that sentence.

 _W-who knows..? Maybe he has already found out that I'm not asleep and now.. he's just playing and toying with me. Please.. everything, but that! I don't want him to know that I'm awake!_  

"Hajime... i-is it.. is it okay for me.." his voice was resembling gasps or quite heavy breathing which was making me feel REALLY disturbed. "I-if I.. touched you a bit? A lil bit? I-I've wanted to do it for years already.. please, don't wake up." I felt that there was more pressure added on my bed. I heard a creaking sound as well. I was panicking.  _I thought that the stalker isn't T-THAT bold.... h-help me anyone.. I'm so scared. So fucking scared....._

I kept my eyes closed, though.

I felt a shy touch on my cheek. My skin tensed up. The hand of the man was shaking at first, but unluckily for me, it seemed that he gained some more confidence very soon.  _G-great.. I'm fucked. I-I'm done.._  The hand wandered lower and gently slid through my lips. Soon I felt a more wet touch on my lips.  _H-has he just..? Have we just... shared a kiss? What the fuck?! It was my first kiss, you damn idiot.. and it wasn't romantic at all..._  

"Your cheeks look so cute.." he kissed one of my cheeks and then once again my lips. This time the kiss was longer which.. made me want to run the fuck away.

Not because it felt disgusting, but mostly because I didn't want my first kisses to be so creepy. I hadn't even known how the person, who was kissing me, looked like.  _D-damn._  "I-I'm so sorry.." he muttered quietly. "I-I... I'm trash. Such a trash. Forgive me.. doing something like this to you, while you're asleep is such a low move... but I can't help it. Hajime.. Hajime.. H-Hajime..." he was gasping even louder by now.  _Has he already forgotten to be cautious? W-well.. it's not like it matters, since I'VE BEEN AWAKE THROUGH ALL THAT TIME, YOU DAMN BASTARD!_

I would definitely strangle that fucker with a pillow, if he didn't get off from me all of sudden. "I'm so pathetic..." he laughed sadly, "b-but.." I felt a light touch on my hair. The hand brushed through it caringly. 

It was actually the very first thing that night which wasn't creeping me out that much. The touch was just so.. loving and gentle. It somehow.. made me feel loved and kind of special. But it didn't necessarily mean that I wasn't awating his disappearance. I was.  _I want the night to be over as soon as possible! I-I beg you, leave my house, just leave it already!_  I clenched my fist under the bedding. "I.. can't live without you. I can't stop wanting you. Needing you. I tried to, but I keep wanting more and more.. I.. want you t-to.." he started sobbing all of sudden. "Ahh.. never mind." his sobbing came to a halt, "I don't deserve to say those words out loud. I don't deserve you.." he sniffled.

Soon the hand left my hair. Exactly when I thought that everything finally ended, I suddenly felt a soft kiss on my forehead. I felt wordless.  _I-I have a feeling that the guy is gaining more and more confidence... I may be quite safe tonight, but.. tomorrow, the day after tomorrow.. who knows what is this guy capable of..? I-I hope.. that he... won't abuse me or do something even worse than that._

"Well.. I need to go, Hajime." he sighed sadly. "I'll see you tomorrow~" a creepy chuckle left his lips.  _T-tomorrow, huh..._  I smiled awkwardly.  _Just great..._

Soon I heard the beautiful sound of my door being opened and then closed. I breathed out in relief. I finally could get some proper sleep. Although that experience was far from being enjoyable for me, I... surprisingly didn't hate it. 

That much at least. It wasn't the matter of hating, loving, liking and so on. I pretty much had mixed feelings about everything connected with him. I was telling myself that I would call police if I really needed to, but how much truth was in it? No one knows.  

 _I don't recall ever feeling so excited. But.. excitement_   _isn't the_ _only thing_ _that stops_   _me from reporting him. I mainly want to understand the stalker. Understand why does he.. l-love me._ I scratched my head a bit. _And if he really does love me,_   _I can't_ _be sure of that after all. Why does he stalk me... why does he want to touch me so badly like if there was no tomorrow..?_ I was too tired to keep pondering, my eyes started feeling heavy and I let them close. 

Soon I fell asleep. I couldn't stop thinking about him even in my dreams though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote more, but I decided to divide it into plural chapters rather than just a one big chapter. I like my stories to look esthetic x3 I'll post the next chapter soon, since it's already written <3


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up quite fast, since the stalker had broken in probably around 3am. I went to the kitchen and made a toast for myself. 

 _His soft, melodic voice surely made a big impression on me._  I thought, while chewing it in silence.  _I'd lie, if I said that I didn't like the voice._  I frowned.  _Though.._   _I won't let him do as he pleases, just because I like hearing it. This night is the last one when he could do whatever he wanted to._

I decided to ask Souda for some advice, because I felt that I couldn't deal with him on my own anymore.

**Hinata: hey..**

I dressed up in the meantime. I hadn't waited too long till he wrote my back.

**Souda: Sup dude? Something's on your mind once again..?**

I laughed sadly and typed a message quickly.

**Hinata: Yeah.. kinda. The stalker broke into my house last night and they...**

I suddenly felt unsure. Is it a good idea to tell him about it? I felt that keeping it in, would only make me nuts. Just when I gathered enough courage to tell him, I received his text.

**Souda: Don't tell me-**

**Souda: were you raped or something? D:**

"Argghhhhh...." I felt ultimately annoyed. "I try here to open up before my only friend and this is his answer on my brave act..? Making fun of me?" I sighed.

**Hinata: Hahaha.... AS IF.**

**Hinata: Forget about it...**

I recieved a few more messages from him, but I didn't feel like reading them anymore. I threw the phone on the couch and followed my phone, landing softly on the furniture. I lost all the willingness to talk with anyone about the stalker. I decided to take care of that issue on my own from now on. I didn't care if it was dangerous or not.

Even though I said "take care" I didn't plan to do anything particular about it.  _As long as he won't do anything really messed up, I'll endure it._

And so day after day was passing. Every day was damn freaky, even if the stalker didn't appear. I felt unsafe and couldn't get much sleep. One day I noticed a vase with some beautiful flowers. I obviously wasn't the one who placed it there. The flowers were cute and smelled very nice, but it still was creeping me out. _That guy can come in and out of my house as if my lock didn't exist..._  I felt really cold all of sudden.

After a few more days, I realized that the flowers always were always fresh.  _I-is he.. bringing them here each and every night? Why? Why flowers? Why is he bringing them to someone like me? W-what is wrong with him..._  I brushed my fingers through the petals and blushed sheepishly.  _The flowers aren't at fault, so admiring them isn't that bad.. right?_

I realized that there was a scrap of paper under the vase. It said:

_"I hope you like the flowers"_

I frowned and sighed.  _Why can't that guy just face me and talk with me like a normal person? Why does he need to be such a creep..? I mean-_  A smile crept over my lips, while I was looking at the flowers.  _He doesn't seem like a bad person? Maybe.. probably._  My smile twitched nervously.

Day later I got a text from my friend and this time I read it. 

**Souda: Dude, are you still alive? I hope the stalker didn't kill you...**

**Souda: Please dont be mad.. Hajimeee**

An unpleased sigh left my lips. I kind of still was sulking, because of that joke of his.  _As if I would ever let anyone to rape me, you idiot! I'm not some frail, vulnerable girl.._

**Hinata: mhm.. im very alive, dont worry**

I yawned and fell asleep. I didn't realize when exactly the day turned into night, so I was surprised to find myself woken up in complete darkness. I yawned and changed my position into a more comfortable one. I suddenly heard footsteps outside my house. I quickly stood up, turned the lights on and opened the door. I saw a glimpse of someone in a green hoodie running away in great rush. I realized that something was laying before on the doorstep. An envelope.

I took it in my hands reluctantly and closed the door after myself.

There was written on it:  _To my beloved Hajime ♡_

I raised one eyebrow feeling a unwell and sick.  _Beloved, huh.._  It felt weird and really not nice to be called beloved by someone who you hadn't even known in the first place. I was curious about the letter's context though.. I opened the envelope slowly with hesitation.

I had considered burning the letter down or throwing it away, but somehow looking at it made me feel that the person put their feelings into it. I also finally had a good chance to learn something useful about them.

Those were the excuses that I was telling myself to feel better about opening the letter which every normal person would throw away instantly. I felt like a crazy idiot to accept a letter from a stalker.

_"If you're reading it then it means that you've decided to trust me a bit. It makes me happy! You already know that I'm.. well.. kind of stalking you. I'm sorry for doing something as unpleasant as this."_

_If you really were sorry, you'd stop doing it.._  I sighed.

_"I'm writing this letter to you just, because I want to let you know that I love you from the bottom of my hear. I would face you, but.. it would hurt me to see with my own two eyes that you've already forgotten about me."_

"...what." I massaged my temples. "I have forgotten? What the heck.. I don't remember being close with anyone other than Souda. Do I actually know the stalker from somewhere?" I tilted my head and laughed awkwardly. "No way.. he's probably just messing with me. That bastard.."

_"I am trash. Worthless trash that is being just a bother to a person like you. I know. I know it.. I know! Yet... I can't stop now! I want you.."_

_I feel a bit sorry for him.. calling himself trash.. that's a bit cruel._

_"I beg you, forgive me everything I've already done and will do to you."_

That was the last sentence. No signature was left. I wasn't surprised.. stalking is a crime, writing your own name for the person that you stalk, would be the same as saying: please, arrest me.

 _That stalker for sure has some balls. I can't believe he asked me to forgive him the things he WILL do to me..._  I shoved the letter back into the envelope and threw it on the table angrily.

I slowly was reaching the moment, when I couldn't feel even more creeped out.

But.. then I suddenly came up with a risky, yet interesting idea.  _What would the stalker do if I tried to communicate with him?_  I couldn't stop my curiosity.  _I could for example.. write a letter to him and leave it next to the flowers.. then he would read it for sure._

 _It's kind of sad that I don't know his name.._  I didn't think much before taking an envelope and a messily torn out page from a notebook.

If I wasn't in a playful mood, I wouldn't do something as stupid as writing him back to be honest. But it seemed that I had forgot my mind that day. I was interested in stalker's reactions, they were truly endearing, but very creepy at the same time.

I started writing the words that were appearing in my head, I wasn't being cautious at all.

_"Hi. I believe that I don't need to introduce myself."_

At that moment I was wondering if I was mad to write back to him.

Yup. I surely was. 

_"I have no idea if I know you or not, but if you tell me when and how exactly we've met, I may remember you. You didn't need to stalk me. It seriously creeps me out. But.. you won't stop, even if I begged you to, right?"_

I couldn't help, but sigh once again.

_"Anyway. You surely have some bad taste to stalk me from all the other people. Isn't it.. I don't know.. boring? Don't think that I'm letting you to continue your lil stalking "fun". You're lucky that I haven't reported you yet, but I swear that I will, if you do something really fucked up, so better watch out. Sincerely Hajime."_

I nodded, the letter seemed pretty fine to me. If I met the stalker face in face, I would say something like this to him.. probably. I wanted to leave some sign on the envelope, which would assure him that it was meant for him, so I wrote:  _to my "beloved" stalker._ _ _Of course the beloved was an obvious sarcasm, the stalker was everything, but beloved to me.__

As I expected, the letter disappeared and it was nowhere to be find in the morning. After that nothing worth mentioning had happened during the daytime and night.

Another week passed. The flowers were fresh everyday which meant he was at my house every night.  _I remember having dreams in which I was hearing his voice, feeling his touch on my face, on my chest, on my hair.. on my lips even.. who knows, what exactly was he doing to me while I was vulnerably asleep..?_

Once or twice I woke up shirtless. The stalker surely was lucky that I had some quite heavy sleep.

The next few nights were rather peaceful. The stalker could possibly be at my house, but he hadn't done anything particular. No messages were left, all of my things were on their right places, nothing had disappeared. I didn't feel that stalked either.. I thought that maybe the stalker started giving up on me. I didn't like the idea. If he gave up on me, it would mean that I indeed was just some boring guy.

I've soon experienced on my own skin that he was rather determined (un)luckily for me.

I had been asleep that night, when he broke in. I firstly started hearing soft words whispered directly into my ear, then felt a hot breath on my neck and eager touch on my chest. I immediately opened my eyes. I saw a dark figure above me. I managed to get a glimpse of my stalker, before my eyes were shut with his hand. He had fluffy, gray or white hair. I couldn't tell since the lightning was bad, obviously. He had skinny posture. 

I didn't see anything more than that.

"..." the stalker didn't seem freaked out by the fact that he woke me up. It somehow felt as if.. he intended to do it. "Hmmm.. what should I do now?~" I started struggling so he pinned me down with his other hand. "I'm sorry, Hajime.. I can't let you go." his voice was cold and sharp. "I advise you to hold still, if you don't want anything bad to happen." I couldn't see anything, but I still could talk back at him.

"W-what do you want from me?" my voice was raspy. I couldn't believe that I wanted to have a serious conversation with a psycho stalker, who was breaking into my place for months already. "What do I want..?" he thought for a moment, before blindfolding me with some material. It probably was one of my ties that he had stolen from me. "I guess, I want you, Hajime~" he hummed into my ear. It made me shiver. "But why? Let me go!" I shouted loudly. "I-I'll call the police, if you won't stop it!" I tried to threaten him, take him off the guard, but it wasn't as simple as I thought. It didn't work out at all.

The man laughed insanely above me. "You won't call the police, Hajime~" he slid his hand down my arm playfully. 

"WHAT?! A-are you mad..?" he chuckled at hearing my response.  

"Most likely. But you're more mad than me, hehe.." his hand lifted up my chin. "W-what.. I am NOT! I-I.." I started trembling. I was paralyzed, terrified. My chest was lifting up and down nervously.

"If you wanted to call the police, you would do it months ago already, wouldn't you?" he lifted my chin even higher which really hurt. I bit my lip. "Y-you don't know how delighted it makes me that you still haven't done it. When I realized that you found me out and didn't report immediately, I.. I-I.." he was breathing heavily. "I couldn't help, but feel hopeful.. so hold still, please." he grabbed my both hands and pinned them down above my head. 

"What, DAMN you! You bastard, you'll see.. I WILL report your fucking ass, I- MHMMM!" he shut me with his lips kissing me deeply. The kiss lasted way longer than I could comprehend. When he parted our lips, I was gasping for the air madly.  _H-he almost suffocated me..._  "Y-you're such a tsundere, Hajime.." he gasped close to my face. "I know you want me too.. just be honest with me already." he bit my lip.

I groaned. "Y-you're wro-!" he didn't let me finish kissing me once again.  _T-this guy is crazy!_   _He's not right! I don't.. I-I don't.. I DON'T WANT HIM AT THE SLIGHTEST!_  My face heated up.  _I-I just.. want to know why he does what he does. I just want to understand him. That is ALL!_

I really was thinking like that back then. I just wasn't aware that at that point I had already started developing some feelings for him.

"By the way.. thank you so much for writing me back! Your letter made me more than delighted, I swear that I'll treasure it more than my own life.." I could hear his dreamy sigh. It sounded out of place. "It was so touching.. I thought, till I got your letter, that all you felt towards me was hatred, but it seems that I was very wrong~" he slid his fingers down my chest. 

"H-hey.. I beg you s-stop! I-It isn't right!" I felt like crying.

My pleas didn't seem to work. He was taking them more like an invitation which was making me feel defenceless. "Hajime... you're the kindest person, I've ever known.. I did so many bad things to you, but you still endure them for me.. you haven't changed at all." his voice was filled with admiration. I turned my face on the side getting away from his grip on my chin. "I don't endure them for you, don't get me wrong." I hissed. "I-I just.. I.." I was at the verge of crying at that moment. I felt numb, I couldn't think properly anymore.

I released my hand forcefully from his grip and slid it down his face, he jolted a bit in surprise. "Let me see your face at least. Keeping your identity as a secret is more than cruel!" the man shifted nervously above me. 

"H-Hajime.. I can't show you my face. Please, understand me..!" he sobbed. 

"Ughh.. t-then..! Your name. Tell me your name at least. You don't know how bad it feels to be kissed by a stranger." I realized that there was something weird about my words; I wanted to take them back, but he was quicker than me. "I-if I tell you my name, will you be okay with me kissing you?" he said with excited voice. I wanted to object, but he shut my mouth with his hand and leaned close to my ear.

"You don't need to say anything, Hajime. I understand you perfectly~" he gasped against my neck. "My name's Nagito. Komaeda Nagito.." his hair tickled me. I searched for the name in my memory, but my mind was blank. I couldn't remember, if I had ever heard his name in the past. Maybe yes, maybe not.. I couldn't tell for sure.

I suddenly felt his lips on the delicate skin of my neck. Firstly, the lips were pressing softly on it, but soon he started sucking on it, hard. I placed my hand over my mouth to muffle the moan. "F-fuck, stop.." I felt out of strength to even ask him properly to back off. He lifted up, his lips left my neck. 

"Hah.. I didn't know you would enjoy it as much as me..." he chuckled happily. "I feel honored~" I would glare at him angrily, if I wasn't blindfolded. 

"I-I am far from enjoying it.." He laughed clearly enjoying our lil conversation. 

"When you're being so dishonest about your feelings, I can't stop thinking that you're cute." I blushed madly. 

"Fuck you! I-I'm not cute, back-" he let my hands go and the pressure on the bed disappeared. "off.."

"I'm sorry for taking away your sleep time.." he caressed my cheek softly and kissed the top of my hand. Then I heard footsteps getting more and more distant.  _I'm relieved that he's leaving, but.._ I quickly released myself from the blindfold. All that I managed to see was his back. He was wearing a long green jacket with a red number 55 written on his shoulder area. His hair was white and very fluffy. It looked beautiful. He waved to me not looking back. "Good bye, Hajime. I love you and won't ever stop.." he said lovingly, yet I could sense some sadness in his words as well. He closed the door after he left my house.

I breathed out. After that night I had even more things on my mind. I let myself to fall asleep though. That was an exhausting night after all. I deserved some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I somehow really enjoy wrting this story, so I hope that you enjoy reading it >w<


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well.. I don't know if it's a good chapter or not, but I was trying my best.. :'3 Btw, I was talking with my friend about this fic and she said that a one specific song really suits my story. The song is E.T. by Katy Perry. The lyrics seem to reflect Hinata's hidden desires, but see it for yourself if you want <3 I mean.. I love this song and it makes me motivated to write more. Anyways. I hope you'll enjoy the chapter.

I woke up very early in the morning, but I let myself lay in the bed and do nothing till the noon. Well.. I actually wasn't doing nothing. _I can't stop thinking about.. Komaeda. Saying his name even just in my head felt somehow weird. I... am truly scared of what will happen next. But I'm more scared of myself. Why have I accepted the fact of someone stalking me so easily?_ I sighed. _And why am I somehow waiting forward to the things that may happen..?_ I needed some distraction. I needed to come back to my senses. I was getting as mad as that guy... 

I eventually decided to call Souda. "Hey.. what are you doing?" There was a short pause, before he answered me. "Oh! Great timing, dude. Wanna hang out with me and Sonia? I mean.. we're going to a cafe, but I feel too nervous to be there on my own... I-I can't be alone there with her! My heart won't take it-" I laughed. "Calm down, calm down.. you're talking too fast. Sure, I'll go there with you, no problem." I actually thought that it was a good way to get myself distracted. 

I went to the bathroom and took a quick shower. As soon as I looked into a mirror I realized that there was something on my neck. I tried to wipe it off, but... it wasn't possible. _D-don't tell me... did that guy make me a hickey..?_ I blushed madly. _And what's more.. he made it in a very visible place.. he had to do it purposely._ I frowned angrily, but I actually felt more embarrassed than angry. I hoped that no one would notice it. _I've never been in any relationship, so how would I explain this hickey..? Th-that a psycho stalker broke into my house and we just ended up kissing?!_ The blush on my face was getting stronger. _F-fuck.. that sounds as if I was the one who's crazy, I don't want Souda to think that I'm a freak._

I quickly dressed up adjusting the collar of my shirt, so that the hickey wouldn't be that noticeable. As soon as I got ready, I went to the cafe to meet with Souda and Sonia. 

They were already waiting for me. Souda waved at me, when he noticed that I came into the cafe. "Hey, Hajime! We're over here!" he shouted. I smiled friendly and sat next to him. The girl with blonde hair smiled warmly at me. "Nice to meet you in person. I'm Sonia Nevermind, I believe you're Hajime, right?" I shook hands with her. "Yes, nice to meet you too.." I smiled back at her. I looked over Souda. _I've never seen him so nervous, he must really love that girl._ I patted his back to give him some courage. After that Souda gained some more confidence and then they were talking and talking.. I wasn't really interested in their conversation to be honest. 

I couldn't stop thinking about that damn stalker. "Dude.. are you here?" Souda waved his hand before my eyes. "O-oh yes.. I am, sorry." I yawned and stretched my hands a bit. I didn't realize that my collar wasn't covering the mark anymore. "D-dude..? What is that red thingy on your neck? A hickey?" my cheeks heated up. "I didn't know that you have a girlfriend.." I hid the mark behind the collar nervously. "B-because I don't have one!" I sighed. "It's nothing.. just a wound, okay?" Sonia clapped. 

"If you don't have a girlfriend then.. maybe you have a boyfriend?" her eyes lighted up in excitement. I hid my face into my hands. "A-AS IF. NO." I tried to not looked pissed, but I was. I couldn't think about the stalker as my boyfriend. Just thinking about it was making me feel weird. Couples usually are cute and all lovely-dovey, but our "relationship" was more like from a horror movie. 

Luckily for me Souda and Sonia were quite considering and didn't press the topic. Actually from now on they were just enjoying their lil date, while I was being in a position of a third wheel. I wasn't mad or anything, but it was boring. I felt happy for them, but it wasn't enough to make me distracted. 

I sighed and started wandering with my eyes around the cafe. The place wasn't very beautiful or anything, but the atmosphere was pretty enjoyable. I looked over the counter. There were many sweets, cakes, cupcakes and etc. in a display case. I would order something, but I didn't feel like eating anything. I focused my eyes on a waiter that was swiftly bringing costumers their orders. He was pretty good at it, it was probably thanks to him that this place had such a nice atmosphere. He was now bringing some order to the people sitting in a table next to us, so I could have a better look on him.

He was very tall, his white hair was pinned into a small, quite cute ponytail. He was wearing a black staff apron, which really suited him. He smiled kindly to the people whom he just gave their coffee. I blushed a bit, when I saw his smile. He looked pretty. 

Then he bowed before them. "I hope you'll enjoy your coffee~" he had a soft, melodic voice, which I knew from somewhere. It didn't take me long to realize that the waiter was no one other than Nagito Komaeda. My mind went wild. I didn't know what to do. I felt like running away, because I was really scared of what he would do, if he noticed me as well. _I-is he.. working here?! Oh my God.. And what the fuck? His face is more than beautiful.. I-I didn't expect the stalker to look so.. extraordinarily. H-how is it possible that that adorable, kind and bright waiter is the same person as my stalker..?_

I suddenly saw him getting closer to our table. I started panicking. I quickly snatched the menu from Souda and hid my whole face in it. "Dude? What are you doing..?" Souda asked hesitantly. "Shhh! Nothing.. j-just looking for something good to order." I whispered nervously to him. I obviously lied, how could I find anything, when my whole face was pressed against the menu? All that I could see was some blurred letters.

"Can I take your order?~" Komaeda asked. "Oh yes! I'd like a tea.." said Sonia. Souda was hesitating for a moment before asking for same thing as the girl. "Ha-!!" Souda was going to say my name, so I stamped painfully on his foot. "F-fuck.. that hurt man.." he sobbed. I hissed at him to shut up. The waiter chuckled a bit. "Huh?" Sonia let a surprised sound. "What's wrong, Ha-" I interrupted her by shouting loudly the first things that came into my mind, "I-I'D LIKE AN ORANGE JUICE!!!" all the eyes were on me, probably. I deducted it from the sudden silence that filled the whole cafe. 

The waiter most likely bowed before us (I couldn't see, because of the menu) and said that he'll bring our orders soon. I sighed in relief, but still kept hiding. "Hajime..? Are you blushing? I think you're blushing.." Souda clearly made fun of me. "I-I am not, idiot!" Sonia chuckled. "Do you have a crush on that waiter perhaps..?" I lowered the menu a bit, to show her how exactly much her question annoyed me. "Why are you looking at me like this..? I just think that he's pretty handsome.. I wouldn't be surprised if you indeed had a crush on him~" she said playfully. "You'd make a cute couple, Hajime~" added Souda, while flashing a smirk at me. 

"I-I DON'T have a crush on him." I groaned before the menu. "If you say so..." said both of them in such a synchronization that I became even more salty. _If they knew that this guy is stalking me, they wouldn't be saying such things..._

We didn't need to wait for our orders for too long. This time it wasn't Komaeda who was serving us, which made me more than relived. I didn't need to hide anymore after all. A waitress with a long, straight, dark purple hair started heading happily to our table. When she was just a half of a meter away from us, she suddenly lost balance and tripped. It wouldn't be that bad, if she didn't spill a whole glass of an orange juice on me. "O-oh.. I'm so so sorry.. I-I'm sorry!" she started crying. "I'm the worst waitress ever.." she sobbed. 

I would be angry, but somehow I felt that I would be a jerk, if I glared at her. "It's fine.." I sighed and smiled awkwardly, while looking down at my now orange shirt.

The waitress ran to get a towel and soon she started cleaning the mess up.. almost with her tears. Not only the orange juice spilled. The tea was wasted as well. "I-I'll bring new drinks!" she bowed before us. "Hey.. you two stay here, I'll go to the bathroom to do something with my shirt..." I sighed once again. Sonia looked at me with pity. "We will wait for you here, so take your time~" she said warmly. "Mhm. Thanks.." I said in rush and headed to the place. 

I stood before a large mirror and looked at the stain with displease written all over my face. I unbuttoned the shirt with the intention to wash the stain off from it, but before I took it off someone came into the bathroom. I wasn't surprised at first, but soon my eyes widened when I saw Komaeda flashing a cheerful smile at me in the mirror . I was so shocked that I temporarily lost my ability to speak. "Hello, Hajime~" he said from behind. 

I was afraid to face my stalker. I gulped nervously, my eyes were shut tightly. I slowly and hesitantly turned to Komaeda and opened my eyes. I firstly was really scared, especially since I didn't know that he noticed me at the cafe. _I-I'm sure that I hid myself perfectly.._

But soon I realized that the man, who was standing before me.. wasn't scary at all. He was frail, looked cute.. his hair was stunning, his smile endearing. Generally, he was beautiful. I tilted my head. If I didn't experience his creepy side on my own skin, I would say that he's an innocent and really sweet guy...

All of the fear that I felt so far seemed to slowly disappear, at least for a short moment. 

I sighed and looked at him salty. "Komaeda, was it? Your name I mean.." he nodded happily. "What do you want from me, Komaeda?" I turned back to him and washed my hands in the water. Suddenly I felt his hands wrapping around my waist, the hug was too tight to be acceptable. "I want nothing more than you, Hajime.. since you saw my face I can't help, but feel that I'll lose you." I felt something wet on my back, most likely tears, since he started sobbing. 

I frowned. "You _don't have me_ , so how could you lose me..?" he hugged me even tighter.

I couldn't do anything more than just wait till he would stop sobbing. Somehow.. hearing him cry was making me sad. "H-Hajime... I.." his voice was muffled, because his face was pressed really tight to me. "I have only you.. y-you're my everything.. when I thought about giving up on my life, you gave me hope and a reason to live for! I-I.." he was trembling, I could feel it, since our bodies were really close to each other. 

"P-please... let me love you!" the fact that his hands were on my bare skin, was making me a bit uncomfortable. "Y-you don't need to remember me.. j-just.." he sniffled. "Just let me be by your side... I want to be close to you.. I want you.. s-so much.. I can't bear it, it hurts so much!" he rubbed his head against my back. _W-wow.. what made him love me so much..?_

I turned around and looked closely at him. His eyes were red from crying, his cheeks heated up, his breath unstable. My eyes widened. _W-why does he seem to shine..? What's wrong with my eyes, with my brain.. why do I think that he is the loveliest and sweetest being in the whole world?!_ His looks had taken me aback, I blushed heavily and almost forgot about all of the creepy and scary things that he did to me. I felt the need to hug him and say that everything will be alright. 

I was too consumed by admiring his cute looks to realize that he leaned closer to me and pressed his lips softly against mine. The kiss was so pure and loving that I somehow felt disappointed when his lips left mine. He smiled happily and cuddled into my chest. I felt complicated. I still had in my mind the things that happened in the few past months. They were creepy, scary, I didn't like them at all. 

_So why.. why do I feel like this now? Why is my heartbeat so loud? W-why do I feel like.. I actually could fall in love with Komaeda? This DOESN'T make any sense!_

I patted his back unconsciously. "Mhhm~ Hajime... I love you." he purred. I almost forgave him everything, I really felt like forgetting about the scary shit that happened, but then he reminded me that he still was a creep. He whispered into my ear, "I'll visit you tonight, Hajime.. I want to give you more and more.. I want to make only mine~" I shivered. _H-how could I think that he.. th-that his love actually could be pure and beautiful?! How could I let myself be fooled by his look... I-I'm an idiot.. ughh._

Komaeda was about to leave. He turned back to me and started heading to the exit, but he stopped in the midway. He turned to me on his heels. I frowned, an unpleased smile showed on my face. He looked at me warmly and patted my hair, which made me frown even more. _I always feel weird when he looks at me like this. On one hand it scares the shit out of me, but on the other hand.. it somehow makes me feel a little bit warmer inside? W-what the hell is wrong with me..._ I pushed his hand away from my hair. 

He chuckled. "Maybe I should give you my shirt, hmm?" he placed his finger over his lip. I gulped nervously. " I-I can't let you leave in a wet shirt..!" he looked at me with concern. "What if you'll catch a cold? What if someone other than me will think that you look hot..?" I blinked a few times in surprise. "W-what? Hot?" a rosy tint spread through my cheeks. "I-I don't look hot, idiot.." I pouted and looked at him expectantly. "Could you just leave already..? I want to take off my shirt and I _really_ don't want to do it before you." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Awww, you're so shy~" he giggled. "There's no need to feel like this though.. I've already seen _every each part_ of you, Hajime." he said softly then smirked and turned back. He was waving at me not looking back. As he was leaving, my mouth opened slightly in pure shock, eyes widened, cheeks flushed even more than before. "W-WHAT?!?!" I shouted a bit too late. "What the fuck?! What did he mean by.. e-every each part of me.. did he see like.. what's under my pants as well? And _how_ and _when_ did he.... ughh.." I groaned and crouched down.

I was at my limit. All that I wanted was to be at my home and get some rest from everything. From the stalker especially. I stood up, took off my shirt in a rush and started washing off the stain from it with the help of soap. The fact that it didn't wash off completely made my mood even worse. I quickly dressed it up and took out my phone of the pocket.

**Hinata: The stain looks really bad so..**

**Hinata: Dont wait for me im heading home**

I turned off my phone. I was kind of glad that I had an excuse to evacuate from their date. I obviously was a third wheel from the very beginning and I was fed up with it. _I would leave earlier, but.. I didn't want to make it even more awkward than it already was. That little stain was a small price for being able to leave.. Maybe I should say thanks to that waitress..?_ I laughed and exited the place quickly to not bump into Komaeda, Souda nor Sonia. 

The only regret that I had was that I didn't get to drink my orange juice in the end. 

As soon as I got home, I laid down under my sheets. I didn't want to think about Komaeda, but I couldn't shake off the feeling that something was off about him appearing suddenly in the bathroom. _It couldn't be just a coincidence, could it?_ I smiled slightly, while covering myself more with the sheets. _I don't recall him being around, while that waitress spilled my drink.. so why..._ I sighed. _I'm probably just overthinking it. I already had enough of Komaeda today, so I should let my mind rest from thinking about him. A-although.. his face is really beautiful. I wouldn't mind thinking about it...._ I slapped my cheeks. _No! I would mind! I-I won't let Komaeda to be even in my head! Especially not in my head._ I pouted and let myself to fell asleep. 

The evening slowly started turning into a night, while I was asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

I was woken up by a wet sensation on my cheek. My eyes opened widely. "Oh, you're awake, my love~" Komaeda giggled creepily. He was standing next to my bed and leaning above me. "Don't call me like that.." I said with an aftertaste of disgust. "I brought something for you, my-" he bit his lip. "Hajime." he smiled happily at me, when our gazes met. "As always.." I sighed. He chuckled, "You will like it, I promise." I raised one brow suspiciously. "Oh, really..?" I said salty and turned on other side, I was tired of his presents.  _Why is he willing to waste his money on me anyway?_

He placed a bottle with some orange liquid in it before my eyes. "It was kind of because of me that you couldn't drink it.. I'm sorry." he seemed like if he really was sorry about it. I wondered why. I sat up and took the bottle from his hands. "Huh.. well, thanks." I scratched my cheek with a finger awkwardly. "Wait- because of  _you_? What did you do exactly..?" I frowned. "Oh well.." he smiled mischievously, "I just asked a one certain waitress to bring you the order and that's pretty much all I did~" I got out from under the sheets placing the bottle on the table next to the sofa.

"Wait.. are you trying to say that it all happened, because of you..?" I asked unsurely. 

Komaeda grinned evilly. "Oh, was I found out?~" he said while cupping my chin and placing his knee between my legs. "H-hey, what do you think you're doing?!" I looked straight into his eyes to show him that I was more than just annoyed, but he read my clear signal to back off as an invitation. I placed my hands over his chest to push him away, but no matter how much force I put into the push, he didn't move further than an inch or two. I frowned angrily. Although I was angry that he didn't move, I was more like scared. If I couldn't make him move I practically was on his mercy.

I gulped nervously, while he leaned closer to me. His lips were too close to mine. "W-why did you do such a thing?" I tried to deconcentrate him from me. I was scared of him getting even closer.  _I don't want it! H-his touch feels weird and.. for fuck's sake! He's a stalker! I can't let him.. No! I-I won't let him to continue it._  

"Hmmm.." he leaned back from me and placed a finger on his lips while looking up. "I wonder.. maybe because of the sad puppy eyes that you had on your face back then..?" he grabbed the back of my neck softly.

"I-I didn't make any puppy eyes back then, not even once..?" I blushed slightly, while frowning more. "Oh, you definitely did and not just once! You were making them since you went into my cafe, Hajime. You looked really troubled and uncomfortable.. but it's understandable. Being a third wheel must've been a sad thing.." he patted my hair gently, while looking at me with understanding. "..." my eyes widened. "H-how did you know how I felt?! That's crazy..!" I somehow felt transparent. I didn't like it, especially since it was Komaeda who saw through me.

Suddenly, he pulled me into a hug. "I love you, Hajime.. I can see when you're sad." he kissed my cheek lovingly. I pushed Komaeda away. "I-I... don't believe that whole story. How did you know that the waitress would spill the drink on me..? I hope you won't say that you were 'just lucky' or something as crazy as that.." I laughed awkwardly, but soon stopped as I realized that Komaeda was tilting his head in surprise and confusion. "That's actually true. It was a pure luck~ How did you know?" I'd let my mind to process it, before I spoke once again.

"..she could spill the coffee on me!! I was in danger because of you!" I pushed him away harder. His leg left the uncomfortable for me place making me sigh in relief. He seemed sad that I did it, but I didn't care. At least I thought that I didn't care.  _He literally violates my privacy. I shouldn't feel sorry for him.._  "And anyways.. it's NOT possible that everything happened just as you wanted." I looked at him suspiciously.

"But it is, Hajime! I'm lucky. That's my talent.. my only talent actually." he chuckled sadly. "I don't believe you." I said firmly, while looking away from him. 

"Do you want to have a bet then?" he smiled innocently. I didn't look convinced.

"If you don't want to believe me, we should just test it, right?~" he tilted his head, "Are you up to it..?" his question seemed rather innocent; I didn't sense any trap. 

I sighed. "Well.. it's not like I care. Lucky or not.. you still are a creep." I shrugged. "Hmmm.. then.. if you win the bet, I won't be stalking you anymore." he smiled sadly at me.  _Probably just thinking about it was making him sad.. weird guy. Why did he get so attached to me..?_

"The bet will be easy. I'll give you some advantage, since 50/50 chances are boring." he giggled. Komaeda's eyes wandered around the room and then suddenly he went somewhere. After a minute he came back with a one simple cube. "Let's bet if I can throw six three times in a row with this dice, are you fine with it?" he sat comfortably on the couch before the table. I stood beside him.

I thought for a moment, before nodding. "Okay.. I think I'm fine with this bet. What will happen, if you win..?" I asked hesitantly. An excited smile showed up on his face. "You'll let me to sleep with you in your bed." he smirked.

I shivered.  _I can finally be free from him... it's not like it's possible to throw same thing three times in a row.. It's way more possible, that I will win the bet._  "O-okay.." I gulped nervously as I saw Komaeda lifting the dice up, mixing it in his two hands and letting it go without any hesitation. The dice was rolling for a moment before landing in the way that number six was on the top.

 _Oh well.. that was just a one time. I don't need to feel worried, do I? I mean- luck can't be a skill. Pffft, it can't be real.._  Komaeda wasn't even focused on throwing, he didn't seem scared that he actually could lose the bet. "Are you ready, Hajime?" I nodded. He threw the dice. Once again it showed number six. I cursed under my nose. "W-what the hell.." I started feeling really nervous. "Okay.. time for the last throw~" Komaeda hummed. He seemed to be enjoying the bet more than he should.

I looked at the dice as it stopped rolling. "Six for the third time?!?! That is not possible, what the fuck-" Komaeda's lips turned into a cheerful smile. "I told you, I'm just lucky~" he brushed his fingers sheepishly through his hair. "Th-that's seriously fucked up..." my cheeks heated up, because I realized that thanks to my disbelieve I had to let him sleep with me.

"That's just how it is, Hajime." he chuckled happily. 

"Wait- maybe you've cheated somehow... " I looked suspiciously at the smiling innocently Komaeda, picked up the dice angrily and rolled it. The dice showed number one. I threw it a few more times, but I realized that there wasn't any possibility for him to cheat. I gulped nervously and looked down in defeat. "O-okay.. I believe you, you lucky bastard." I pouted.

I laid down in my bed. I found myself shivering when he laid next to me. I turned back to him to not see him and hid myself under bed covers. "Y-you can sleep here, but DON'T dare to lie a finger on me. Have I made myself clear?" my voice was muffled, because I cuddled my face into a pillow, while saying it. 

"Oh, I understand.." he said with disappointment. But he still somehow sounded happy, he was humming cheerfully and looking at me. Although I didn't see him, I could be sure of it. I could feel his piercing stare on me.  _Please, I beg you.. close your damn eyes already. I don't want you to look at me through all the night. That would be creepy. But what am I even expecting from you? Y-you probably always just look at me.._  I shivered more and sighed.

I found myself being a bit excited, despite feeling scared.  _Dealing with this guy is surely.. interesting. Spending time with him is everything, but boring._  I smiled unconsciously. My feelings toward him were changing slowly with time. Firstly, I was only afraid of him and feeling disgust whenever I saw his shadow or felt his presence. Then, I started feeling curious why that person chose me.. and finally I found myself looking forward spending time with him. I still feared him, but I didn't hate that feeling that much. Every day seemed to be special and different thanks to Komaeda.

It didn't take me much to fall asleep. His humming somehow helped me to feel relaxed and nice.

 

**Komaeda's POV**

_I-I can't believe.. Is it real? Am I really laying in Hajime's bed? And like.. he let me to sleep here, I didn't force myself on him!_

_...this time._

_Ahhh~_  I giggled happily, some tears of happiness fell from my eyes. I kept staring at his back trying to observe every little detail about him. His hair was dark brown, spiky.. a bit messy; it was just adorable. I reached my hand to feel it, but stopped in the midway remembering that he wouldn't be happy, if I touched him.

I couldn't tell how long I was looking at him, but he seemed to be already sleeping deeply. His breath was heavy. I found myself wanting to see his face, but I couldn't, which made me a bit sad.

I slowly let my eyes to close. I would fall asleep, if I didn't feel something warm pressing against my chest. It was Hajime. He probably turned on the other side and accidentally bumped into me. My heart thumped so loud that it was even a bit hurtful, wide blush spread through my pale face like a wildfire. 

I hesitently looked at his sleeping face. His eyes were shut tightly, his cheeks a bit rosy.. he was breathing through his mouth softly, in steady pace. Some drool was running down from his soft, parted lips. I wiped it away. "H-Hajime.." I smiled lovingly. I couldn't contain my overwhelming happiness. I wrapped my hands around his back and pressed him closer to me enjoying the warmth of his body, his smell, his breath against my chest.. enjoying everything I could. It was the greatest blessing that I could even be by his side. 

That he... let me to stay with him, regardless me being nothing more than a disgusting stalker who plainly couldn't stop admiring his beauty and kindness. "Nagito.." he said softy into my chest. I felt as his lips were moving, when he was saying my name in his sleep which made me feel warmer; the warmth was so intense that it almost felt as if my insides were burning.  

I felt hopeful. I thought that I really may have a chance with him. I felt excited, my cheeks were heating up more and more.  _H-he may.. someday start to like me back! I can't wait for that moment. How is it to be loved by someone who you love..? Am I worth my feelings to be returned one day? Ahh.. I want him to love me no matter what. I want to have him.. I want him. So much..!_  I hugged him tighter, he murmured something, but didn't wake up.

Soon I fell asleep with a happy smile on my face.

\- a few hours later -

"N-Nagito! You bustard, wake up and let go of me!" I opened my eyes hesitantly. I was still holding Hajime tightly in my hands which brightened up my mood. "Ahh, good morning~" he frowned and growled, he looked really mad. "Mhm.. good morning..." he said cynically. "I told you not to touch me!" he said while clenching his teeth. 

I couldn't contain myself, so I chuckled. "Oh, yes.. you did." I pondered for a moment, while he started shifting and moving in my hands, probably with the intention to get away, but that way he wouldn't achieve anything. Though.. it looked kind of temping. "B-but- it was  **you**  who touched me first, what could I do..?" I looked at him with puppy eyes barely holding back from smiling sneakily.  

"Arghh.. I dunno.." he placed his hand on his forehead visibly irritated, "Push me away?" I inhaled sharply, "I-I could never push you away, Hajime! I'm not capable of it!!" I pouted.

He groaned. "Anyway.. don't think I believe you. I would never touch you, that is  _not_  possible." he released himself from my embrace forcefully. I sat up and tilted my head. "Oh.. you not only touched me~" I smiled happily.

His eyes went blank. "W-what. What else did I 'do'?" he frowned, his voice was cold, but nervous at the same time. 

"Y-you.. said my name in your sleep." I blushed and started giggling like a little kid.  _I won't ever forget it.. I wonder what was he dreaming about?_  Hinata looked down, I couldn't see his face. "Pffft. A-as if.. you must've misheard me.. I probably said something like... e-ehhh.." there had been a long silence between us, before he spoke once again, "dammit! I have no idea what I said back then, but it wasn't your name for sure!" he turned on the other side hiding under bed covers. "Go away.. it's already morning and I don't feel rested at all. Because. Of. You." he ended sharply. "Night." he gave me a clear sign to give him some private space, so I swiftly stood up from the bed.

 

**Hinata's POV**

I yawned and lazily opened my eyes. It was Saturday, so I at least didn't need to go to my job. I inhaled the air into my lungs, it smelled really nice.  _I know this smell.._  I had wondered for a moment, before coming to a conclusion.  _Omelettes? Probably.. but why..._  I stood up and went to the kitchen. I saw Komaeda cooking as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Believe me.. it wasn't. 

"What are you doing..?" I asked coldly and rested my arm on the table. He jolted in surprise, because he probably didn't hear that I came to the kitchen to begin with. It didn't take him long to calm down. "Cooking for you, Hajime~" he said with melodic voice and tossed the omelette, while looking at me, what... impressed me a bit.  _I didn't know that he is such a good cook. Or maybe.. was it just his 'luck'?_  I snickered.

"Well.. I definitely didn't ask you to do it." I raised one eyebrow. "But well.. since you've already started making something, it would be a shame to waste it. I meant that it would be a shame to waste the ingredients, not your cooking in general." I sat before a wooden table. It took Komaeda a while to finish what he was doing, but I didn't particularly mind it. I was hungry, so I actually was kind of thankful that he was making something for me (even though my previous statement expressed everything but gratitude). 

Soon he placed a plate with an omelette on it before me and sat down on the chair at the opposite side of the table. He rested his chin on his hands and started giggling happily.  _Let's just hope that the food doesn't contain any poison, aphrodisiac or something even worse..._  I shivered. Although I didn't trust him at all, the food smelled too good; I plainly couldn't help myself. I swallowed down my saliva and was about to eat it, when I suddenly heard Komaeda's stomach growling loudly.

"H-hey... Nagito? Aren't you hungry..?" He shook his head, but then his stomach started growling even louder.

"M-maybe just a little bit hungry.. but it doesn't really matter as long as I can see as you eat." he smiled warmly at me.  _I'd be more glad if he was eating too, not observing me, it's so uncomfortable and creepy._

I sighed. "You made food for me, but not for yourself.. You're an idiot, you know? " I smiled sheepishly. I stood up and took an empty plate from a cupboard. "I'll split the food for us two. Don't misunderstand me. I'm not caring about you. It just wouldn't be fair, if I was the only one eating, since you made the food." I said while cutting the omelette in half and placing the other half on the empty plate. I placed it before him. "Here you go.." I smiled a bit, although I didn't intend to smile, it did it naturally. 

I stood next to the fridge and took some ice tea out of it. "Do you want some too?" I asked plainly. He nodded shyly. I poured some drink for us and sat back before the table facing the white haired intruder.

I was hesitating for a moment, but then I thought that waiting would only reduce the taste of the food, so I took a bite of it. My eyes sparkled. "D-damn.. that's really good!" Komaeda smiled lovingly at me. "Thank you, I'm happy that you like it~" he giggled.  _Like it?! I love it! B-but I won't admit it to him.._  I stuffed some of the food into my mouth. A bit too much of it, since my cheeks were really puffed now. Komaeda chuckled. I drank some ice tea. "Don't just look at me, eat too. Your stomach makes really disturbing sounds.."

He blushed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry.." and so he started eating too.

I suddenly realized that my plate was completely empty. I blushed, "Th-thank you for the meal.. i-it was.. really... you know.. kind of you to make it? I appreciate that kind of thing." I finally admitted. It was probably the very first time, when I smiled thankfully at him. First and maybe the last one, who knows. "Ahh, no problem. You look cute, when you chew by the way!" 

I hit the table with my fist. "I-I don't! And don't say such things please.. it's embarrassing." I looked away from him.

And exactly when I turned my head to face him, I saw him leaning towards me, his body closer to mine than before. He was leading a fork with some omelette stuck on it to my mouth. I could stop him, but I didn't. He stuffed it into my mouth. "Mhmhmmm!!" my eyes widened. "Chew nicely, otherwise you'll choke, Hajime." he frowned. I swallowed down the food, I felt as the blood rushed to my cheeks.  _What is wrong with that guy?!_  My heart started beating faster.  _W-what is wrong with me..?_

I closed my eyes tightly. I heard a sound of moving chair and then suddenly felt something wet on my lips. I realized, as I opened my eyes, that so called 'something' was actually his lips. The kiss was deep and long. Suffocating, but passionate. I couldn't gather up my thoughts, because of it. He grabbed me by my shirt lifting me up from the chair, deepening the kiss even more as if it wasn't deep enough before.

I pulled him away falling down onto my chair. I rubbed my lips with my hand, while blushing madly. "W-what the hell was that?!" Komaeda tilted his head. "A kiss I believe..?" I cleared my throat, "Let me rephrase myself.. why did you do that..?" I pouted, while trying to brush off the memories of his lips being on mine.

"Because you looked as if you wanted it~" he smiled cheerfully. "No, I didn't?" I frowned as if I heard someone saying carp. Oh, wait- I did. "Who are you trying to fool, Hajime?" he smirked, his gaze was piercing and made me shiver. I was surprised, when I realized that I didn't hate it when he looked at me in that way. But it scared me; he was usually looking at me cheerfully, I didn't have this 'honor' to see him smirking like an evil badass too often. Maybe I wasn't only because he didn't show off his true nature that much yet.  _The last time I felt that vibe from him was when he blindfolded me with my tie.. it's hard to believe that Nagito has two sides that are differing so much from each other. He's like the devil and an angle stuffed into one person._

The other thing that made me feel scared was that he probably realized something that I didn't.  _I-I might have been looking at him as if I wanted it.. it's only a possibility, I'm not sure... maybe I just feel excited when it comes to him? I don't remember ever having so much fun... yeah. It's just it, nothing more to add. He must've misunderstood my expression._  I sighed in relief.

"Hahaha.. hah.. very funny." I laughed angrily. "Once again, thank for the meal and so on.. could you leave my house already?" I stood up from my chair and opened the front door for him. "Well.. bye, Nagito." I forced myself to smile.

I was expecting him to just leave, so I was taken-aback when he wrapped his hands around my waist pulling me unwillingly into a hug. I was struggling till I lost all the strength. His chest was pressed to mine, so that I could feel his loud heartbeat. "I love you, Hajime." he caressed my hair. His voice was soft and kind, somehow it felt surreal and out of place. I was even more surprised when I realized that my own heart was beating as loud and rapid as his.

I wanted to say something, but words just didn't want to form in my head—which felt like an empty box—it was making me feel really frustrated. He leaned back from me and placed his thumb over my lip opening my mouth slightly. His face was only a few inches away from mine and it seemed be getting closer and closer with every passed second. And then he let go of my lip and just patted my hair. I was shaken. He smirked at me and exited my house.

I slid down the wall, that was behind me, falling onto the floor. "F-fuck! What's going on?!" my cheeks were burning so much that it wasn't bearable any longer. I breathed in and out trying to calm my breath and heartbeat. "Th-that guy is playing with me as with some toy! And what am I doing..?" I laughed nervously, "I just keep letting him to do as he pleases!" I hid my face into my hands. As soon as I calmed down completely, I stood up and washed the dishes. Somehow I found it really enjoyable, after what happened to me; doing something as normal as it was a nice change from Komaeda and his weirdness. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing is my medicine.. like- school takes my motivation and happiness away.. but writing gives me it back!! ;w; Well.. same goes with drawing ~ Anyway. I hope you'll like the chapter. It's a bit long, because I didn't have time to post it earlier.

The rest of the day was boring, yet peaceful. I spent most of it on watching some films and eating random food found in the depths of my fridge. I somewhat was missing Komaeda's accompany. In some weird way that I couldn't understand. Maybe it was just that.. with him even the simplest acts like waking up or eating a breakfast seemed intriguing. I wasn't aware of it, but I really enjoyed every minute with him, even when he scared the crap out of me.

And so I spent my yet another day off on thinking about Nagito, even though I didn't intend to spend so much time on thinking about that psycho stalker guy.  _He probably was tempering with my head. Maybe he hypnotized me or something... who knows._  I laughed awkwardly and laid down on my bed. It was already after midnight, so I thought that getting some sleep was a way better idea than filling my head with Nagito. I undressed myself staying only in my underwear and a loose shirt. 

I covered myself wholly with the sheets and closed my eyes for what seemed like a minute or a two, but it actually could be way longer.

Suddenly I opened my eyes sensing someone's presence next to me.

Nagito was laying very close to me brushing his fingers casually through the strands of my hair. He was giggling to me.. I groaned and closed my eyes without further worries.

My brain slowly processed the situation.

I blinked a few times making sure, if I wasn't just dreaming and then opened them widely.  _Nagito is in my bed..... huh... w-what? He shouldn't be here!_  

"N-NAGITO?!" I shouted out loud and fell down from the bed. "Ouch.." I didn't feel like lifting up. The floor was good enough as long as Nagito wasn't laying on it as well. "Hajime? A-are you alright?" Komaeda looked at me from above, his eyebrows furrowed in obvious concern. "Alright..?" I sighed irritated, while trying to calm down my anger. "Tell me.. How could I possibly be alright, huh?" I stood up massaging my back which still hurt a bit, because of the pretty unfortunate fall. "I was considerate enough to 'let' you to stalk me... but I don't recall agreeing to you sleep in my bed every fucking night!" I crossed my arms.

His behaviour made me feel unsure. For some reason he didn't seem sorry at all. Just the opposite; his lips were formed into a smirk. "Oh, really?~" he sat at the edge of my bed and started sliding his index finger down my chest. "Did you forget about our little bet?" something dangerous sparkled in his eyes. I gulped and started shaking. "Have you already forgotten what the prize was..?" he tilted his head innocently. "B-but..!" I stepped back getting away from him for a moment. "I recall agreeing only for a ONE night, I-I'm sure of it..!" I desperately tried to remember what had I agreed to. He stood up and pushed me against the wall. My back hit it painfully making me groan.

"Huh..? Are you trying to deceive me?" he whispered to my ear, his voice sounded way more excited than it should. I turned my head as much on the other side as I only could to not face him. There was something in his eyes that was making me feel vulnerable and powerless. He was scary.

"I-I.. uhm.. who knows, may--" he pinned me harder to the wall pressing his lips forcefully on mine. He bit into my lip making me gasp in pain.  _What made me want to talk back at him?!_  "S-STOP!! What the- mhhmm!" he smirked and kissed me deeply placing his knee dangerously close to my crotch. 

I started enjoying the kiss more than I should, so I shoved him away. Did it feel so good, because he was a good kisser or because of my already developing feelings towards him, or maybe.. both? I had no idea; I really didn't want to wonder about such things. 

I wiped away some sweat from my face. "I am not deceiving you.. okay? S-so goddamn, calm down..!" I took a deeper breath.

There was a long silence, he was looking down sadly till he suddenly lifted up his head making puppy eyes. I frowned and crossed my arms.

He kept staring and staring at me. I couldn't stand it anymore. "Arghhh! F-fine. You can sleep in my bed." my soft sigh followed Komaeda's clap. "It's not like I can stop-" he giggled happily and kissed my cheek softly, "y-you.. but." I accented the last word firmly. Komaeda tilted his head. "Hmm?" he looked at me expectantly.

"I have two conditions." I cleared my throat. "Firstly, you're going to use the door as a normal person would.  _No more breaking in, fine?_ " Komaeda frowned, "W-wait- how am I supposed to get into your house in other way than breaking in?" he smiled unsurely. I wasn't sure if he was joking or being serious at first, but soon I realized that he was rather serious about it. I chuckled, "You know... you can just knock on my door, can't you?" I laughed as I saw puzzled expression on his face.

"You will let me in willingly..?" Komaeda's eyes sparkled. My face heated up in embarrassment. "W-well.. yes. But only because you would break in anyways; if you kept breaking in, you would break the lock eventually.. so yeah. Just knock on the door next time, okay..?" Komaeda nodded energetically a few times.

"A-and.. the other condition... I-I.." I blushed more, because it was a rather silly condition. "Make me a breakfast tomorrow."

Komaeda chuckled. "You're so cute, Hajime~" his lips turned into a smirk for a split of second, "Your conditions seem more like rewards.. maybe you actually are rewarding me for doing well as your stalker? Maybe you are pleased with me stalking you?" his cheeks tinted with pink, his eyes shone brightly. "W-what the hell?! N-no.."  _M-maybe a lil bit..?_  I felt angry at myself that such thought appeared in my head. Komaeda continued, "maybe you've already.." his eyes were filled with affection. He caressed my cheek and slid his hand down my neck making me shiver. I gulped nervously. He leaned closer to me, his body was just an inch away from mine. My breath became unstable from the fear and maybe even in some way from excitement. "fallen for me, huh..?" he whispered into my ear sensually and made sudden eye contact with me, which made me feel rather uncomfortable.

I started sweating. I couldn't avert from his gaze, so I closed my eyes tightly. "No way! I will never fall in love with you!" my wrathful shout was followed by Komaeda's soft laugh. He murmured quietly, "We will see~" and smiled innocently. I opened hesitantly one eye, "Did you say anything..?" he shook his head, while smiling in suspicious way.

"I was just teasing with you, Hajime. Don't be so stiff..." he patted my head making me feel unpleased. I really hated that he was switching between his innocent and crazy side so often. It was making me confused. "There's no way that such a kind and amazing person as you would fall in love with trash like me.." he giggled, "But I won't ever give up on you.  _You'll be mine sooner or later._ " his eyes went blank for a moment or two, but soon came back to normal.

I pouted, while blushing, "Th-that's enough! I was going to get some rest, but then you've butted in.." I sighed, "so do what you want, but don't dare touch me in my sleep." I stated firmly, while pushing him away from me and heading to my bed. I still had a pout plastered on my face.

I hid under bed covers and pretended that Komaeda wasn't there. I could feel his begging for attention stare on my back, but I wasn't in the mood to play along with him. I was slowly falling asleep, when suddenly my mind filled with thoughts connected with the next day's breakfast that he was going to make. I started getting curious, if he also could cook something other than omelettes.  _He works at cafe.. who knows what kinds of delicious dishes and desserts he can make..?_  I tried to shake off the thoughts, since I was still sulking, but my curiosity was too overwhelming to be contained, so I asked eventually, "Nagito..? Can you cook something other than omelettes? L-like.. I dunno..." I turned on my back and looked casually at him.

Komaeda grinned evilly, "Well.. maybe yes, maybe no... who knows? I could just tell you, but..." he pondered for a moment, "nah~" his grin turn into a teasing smile. "I don't feel like it."

I sat up rapidly. I couldn't contain not only my curiosity now, but my anger as well. "W-WHY?!?!!" silence followed my question.

"Well.. I may change my mind, if you give me a kiss~" his voice was careless and melodic.  _I-is he trying to piss me off even more..?_  I laughed angrily, "Heh.. don't think that I'm so easy. I won't participate in your stupid games." a small victorious smile showed up on my face. I tried to act it cool and show him that I wasn't a person which could be manipulated so easily.

Komaeda hummed, "Well.. I guess, I'll go to sleep in that case. Such a small thing doesn't matter to someone as great as you, does it?" I opened my mouth to object with his statement, but no words left my lips since I would accept my defeat that way. I started sweating, curiosity was eating me up from inside, it was a truly unstoppable feeling that I needed to satisfy or otherwise, I'd keep thinking about it through the whole night. He smiled kindly, "Let's just forget about our conversation, Hajime..." he yawned protractedly. "Good night." my eyes opened widely, while his slowly closed. He really looked as if he wasn't bothered by the topic anymore.

I groaned loudly.  _I-it's just a stupid kiss Hajime... he has already kissed you plenty of times, so.._  I gulped nervously. The imagination of me kissing him seemed to me as something that should never happen, since Nagito was a stalker and I was just a guy who.. for some unknown reason was letting him to do as he pleased. 

A _kiss is rather small price for the information that I want to obtain, isn't it?_  I laughed quietly, while wondering, if it isn't actually Nagito who is the more sane one from us two. Like- I was about to kiss him for exchange for information about some damn food! What was wrong with me..

I closed the distance between us, while making sure not to make any kind of sound which would make him to open his eyes. I leaned closer looking down at his pale skin; it was lightened up by the full moon's light. I closed my eyes tightly. I felt that my cheeks were slowly heating up. I was leaning further towards him till I felt that my lips collided with something and as soon as I felt it, I wanted to lean back swiftly to hide my embarrassment, but he stopped me by grabbing my neck. It hurt quite a lot. "Awwww.. that was adorable, but I wouldn't call it a kiss." his lips turned into a smug smile.

I looked away avoiding eye contact with him. "A kiss is a kiss. I won't redo it even if you begged me to!" I frowned, while desperately trying to release myself from his hands. 

"But I will, hehe~" he put some pressure on my head pulling it all the way down and connecting our lips roughly. The kiss was getting suffocating and making me feel weirdly numb, so grabbed his arm and dug my fingernails deeply into his skin making him squirm in pain.

When I finally released myself from him, I rolled at the very edge of the bed, while gasping heavily. "Y-you had your damn kiss, now tell me already!" I demanded, while my eyebrows frowned deeply. Komaeda chuckled, "Fine, fine.. I will keep my promise, since it isn't even a big deal to tell you such an utter detail about myself and well.. I had my reward already, hadn't I?" he winked to me and sent me a kiss. "Fuck you." I said, while sulking and turning back to him.

"I'd rather fuck you than let you to fuck me, since you're so adorable, but to be honest as long as I'd be able to do it with Hajime I-" I shivered and smashed his face with a big pillow. "S-shut up!" I blushed madly, while trying to forget about what he has just said, "Tell me already about the things that you can cook, please.. you're starting to annoy me." 

Komaeda laughed. "I'm sorry! Teasing you is so much fun that I've got carried away a little tiny bit, hehe..." I looked back at him and saw as a creepy smile crept on his face. 

I sighed. "It's fine. Tell me about the food already.. I beg you." I didn't know why I cared about that damn food that much; perhaps because I still had in my mind how delicious was the omelette he made for me yesterday. 

Komaeda lifted up, supporting himself on his elbow and started smiling happily. "Well.. I can make some basic meals like risotto, salads, hamburgers, pizza.. ehh.. well I can make most of meals as long as I have some decent recipe. If it's about desserts I can make meringues, I think.. fondants and many other-" I interrupted him, "W-wow.. that's somehow cool. Oh my God.. you can cook so much, Nagito.. isn't it pretty admirable?" I started feeling hungry because of our conversation. "I would admire you, if you weren't a disgusting stalker..." I accented 'disgusting' making Nagito to frown. 

"Stalker would be enough.." he said while faking sobbing.

I was a bit surprised by my own words.  _What if Nagito wasn't a stalker? What if he approached me normally..? Would I be fine with kisses and other stuff?_  I let myself to fall deep into my thoughts for a moment ignoring the fact that I wasn't alone.

 _W-would I.. actually be attracted to him? If he asked me out, would I agree?_ I flustered. _Wait- Is there any possibility that I already am attracted to him?_  I peeked at him and blushed as our gazes met. My heart skipped a bit. I squeezed my shirt and broke eye contact.  _N-no.. it can't be true!_  I frowned and unconsciously peeked one more time at him.

"Ahh, you flatter me~" he smiled warmly, "That isn't amazing or anything.. since I was a small kid I needed to make meals for myself, so well.. I just happen to have some experience and that's all I think."  _For himself..? Why didn't his parents take care of preparing meals? I can't quite understand, but I'm too tired to ask about it.._  I yawned.

"Well.. thanks for telling me." I fixed the sheets a bit and wiggled to make myself more comfortable. "..night, I guess?" I yawned one more time. Komaeda purred, "Good night, Hajime." I let my eyes to slowly close. I had so many things that I still needed to think about, but with Nagito by my side.. having some time only for myself seemed like something rather impossible.

I thought that I was going to get some good rest, but I was wrong. Really wrong.

I was woken up by a sloppy feeling on my lips and neck and pretty much on all the other parts of my body and heavy breathing. I opened one of my eyes fearfully. I had a feeling what was going on, but I didn't feel like showing him that I was awake. "H-Hajime.." I opened my eyes widely as I felt his tongue inside my mouth and his hands sliding down my abdomen.

I shivered. I couldn't say why exactly I enjoyed it, but I did and it was a fact. I felt something that I had never felt before. Desire. Strong and overwhelming desire to feel him more. I would feel ashamed, but for some weird reason I didn't. I just wanted him to touch me more, to say my name once again with his lovely voice, feel his passion and love, although it was in some way terrifying. I felt as warmth spread throughout my body as he kissed me deeper and slid his hands lower.

I was slowly losing it, but then I heard his voice once again. This time it seemed more soft and concerned. My vision suddenly blurred. "H-Hajime..? Hajime, are you alright? Is everything fine?" I frowned. I felt a gentle touch on my forehead. "Do you have a fever? Y-you're so hot.." my brain started processing the situation. I realized that what 'happened' just a moment ago, actually had no place in the real life.

It was only a dream. A rather dirty one, if I need to be honest.

Although it was only a dream, it surely made a great impact on me. I blushed havily as he leaned closer to me. "..a-am..ine.." I barely gasped out the answer. I realized that I was embarrassingly hard. I felt nothing more than awkwardness and uneasiness, because of that. "You don't seem fine, Hajime.." Komaeda said with doubt, while tilting his head. "I can see that you have a high fever, don't lie to me..!" he touched my shoulder softly. He seemed even more concerned than before. I shuddered as he did that.

I didn't want him to touch me; I felt hideous, so I pushed his hand away brutally. "D-don't touch me! Go away!" I said it a bit more harshly than I intended to. All that I wanted was to hide the fact that I was.. in well. Not really decent state at that moment.

I didn't want him to found it out no matter what.

"B-but.. Hajime! I can't leave you like this! I can help you, trust me." I shivered. "N-no, please.. everything, but it." I chuckled nervously, while hiding my whole face under the sheets. "Go away. Leave my house, NOW! A-and don't even think about coming back..!" a muffled yell left my lips.

The pressure soon was gone from the bed. I let out a shaky sigh of relief. "D-damn.. that was close...." I still felt in some way aroused, I couldn't help feeling warmer and warmer, while thinking about Nagito pushing me down, touching and kissing.. it was pretty ironic, since I literally said to the object of my dirty desires to get out my house.  _This one time was a mistake of mine, it won't happen again.._ I tried to cheer up a bit.

I still couldn't believe that I felt that way about that guy and I didn't want to acknowledge it. 

 

**Third person's POV**

Komaeda was resting his back on the bedroom door and carefully listening to the sounds which were coming out of it. He felt like a creep, but he couldn't stop his desire to overhear every little sound that was leaving Hajime's mouth. Soon he heard some muffled moans which made his legs to feel weaker than ever before. His cheeks heated up, but he did his best to not lose his control.

Suddenly his moans became louder, he could even hear some gasps and even his own name being moaned almost shamefully. "K-Komaeda.." he firstly thought that he just misheard Hajime, but when he heard his name being said over and over and over again he had no other option, but believe.

 _D-does he.. think about me while doing it? Does it mean that he loves me too..?_ he placed his hand over his mouth to muffle sobbing sounds. He was happy although.. happy didn't describe his feelings well enough. He thought that Hajime, would've never fallen for someone like him. That it was plainly impossible. He wanted Hajime to love him, he was trying his best to make him fall for his miserable self, but he doubt his efforts would ever give any wanted results.. Could he be wrong? Or couldn't he..? It was hard to say, since Hajime wasn't honest not only with Nagito, but also with his own self. That was what he thought at least; it was just his humble opinion which was quite supported with some evidence.. but still.

Following moans were only assuring him in his assumptions. He quickly left the house, while trying to not make any sound. Truth to be told he didn't want to leave, he wanted to join in to whatever his object of interest was doing, he'd give him a bit of help with pleasure.. but if he stayed there any longer, he probably would do something that could ruin the prefect occasion he got to make Hinata fall in love with him. To make him unable to reject him. 

He had in his mind quite a good plan and he just needed some time to make it happen.

   

**Hinata's POV**

I woke up around noon. I was trying to not think about me shamelessly jerking off, while thinking about Nagito. I was glad that he hadn't been there. Believe me, I really was. I wouldn't be able to look him straight in the face afterwards. And doing such a thing without him realizing would be plainly not possible.. 

I took out the bottle of orange juice from the fridge and quickly drank some of it. I needed to calm down and it helped me to clear my mind a bit.  _J-just because I.. had a dream about him and then.. w-well- doesn't mean that I've fallen for him. I don't know what's wrong with me, but it's definitely not love!_  I stared choking with the drink. My cheeks tinted with some really bright pink.

I fixed my shirt a bit and tried to come back to my normal self, after all I needed to go to my work soon and I definitely didn't want anyone to see me like that.

On my way to job and on the way back home I had a weird feeling that something is not quite right. I didn't see any suspicious shadows nor felt anyone's presence. I didn't give it much thought though. I was actually kind of glad. I could finally rest in peace.

And so.. a day, two days.. a whole week had passed. Still no sign of the stalker. I started getting worried.  _What if something bad has happened to him? Could he have some kind of an accident..?_  I not only was worried, but somehow I missed him.  _Days seem to pass slower, when he isn't next to me. Not only this. He always manages to brighten up my days and make my life more exciting._

At that exact moment I realized that I didn't know a damn thing about him. Which wasn't theoretically surprising, but still.. was quite sad. That was exactly when the feeling of wanting to know him better filled my whole heart to such degree that it became unstoppable and even disturbing.

And one day as I was on my way back from job, I remembered that Nagito worked in some cafe. I felt foolish to hold onto this fact as a hope of seeing him once again.  _J-just what exactly happened to me over this week?_  I thought as I sat in the furthest table in the cafe.  _I only want to check if he's fine..._  that was the first lie.  _It's not like I care about him, it's just weird that he was at my house every each day and now.. he's suddenly gone._  The second lie. Although I wasn't aware of it, I already cared about him a lot.

The purple haired waiters, that spilled my orange juice on me a few days ago, took an order from me. I ordered some simple coffee, since I only wanted to get a glimpse of Nagito and then get the heck out of here, before he would see me. Thinking about him made me feel sad.  _What if.. he gave up on me? What if I've never meant much to him and he only was playing with me? Did he use me as a toy which he just threw away after he got bored of it..? Was I really that stupid to let him use me just because he was seeing something in me that I couldn't see?_  I smiled sadly and soon the waitress came back with a cup of coffee which this time luckily didn't end up spilled on my shirt. 

All of sudden my eyes registered some fluffy white hair. I quickly focused my eyes on it. It was him. He was acting casually, nothing seemed out of order. He was smiling, had that cheerful aura...  _D-did he.. move on from me? Do I not matter anything to him anymore?_  I drank up the rest of my coffee, while trying to hold back the tears that were gathering in my eyes. I felt heartbroken which seemed weird to me since I still (theoretically) wasn't sure of my feelings toward the man.

I fortunately was wearing some hoodie, so I could observe him, without him noticing me. I found myself smiling as I could get a better look at him and whenever his face turned in my way an unknown wave of warmth was filling my whole body. 

When I realized that I was sitting with an empty cup of coffee for an hour already, I decided to evacuate swiftly.

As I was on my way home, I tried to think about the reason why he wasn't stalking me anymore. Suddenly I had a flashback.  _"Go away. Leave my house, NOW! A-and don't even think about coming back..!"_  This sentence was ringing in my ears painfully making my heart to sunk.  _I was the one that told him to go away.. it's my fault._  I placed my hand over the doorknob and slowly stepped into my house. I almost saw him there.. his smile.. his awaiting eyes that begged me for attention, but when I tried to touch him the mirage was gone making me feel lonely and abandoned.

My face darkened.  _I didn't mean it like that... I only wanted him to leave my house, because I felt uncomfortable! A-and.. I thought that he would never give up on me!_  I had yet another flashback as I collapsed on my bed with a soft bounce. Komaeda was looking at me lovingly,  _"I won't ever give up on you. You'll be mine sooner or later."_   he said mischievously. I hid my face into my hands, while laughing sadly. "L-Lair.." I said, while tears started running down my face. "You told me that you would never give up on me..!" I sobbed and slowly let myself to fall asleep.

   

I was woken up a bit before noon, by the sound of a soft knock on my front door. I quickly sprung up, my heart started beating faster.  _C-could it be Komaeda? Is it him..?_  I sat at the edge of my bed, while waiting for him to break in as always, but he didn't so I.. decided to open the door remembering that I was the one who told him to knock. 

I stood before a mirror and fixed my hair a bit. I gulped nervously, breathed in and out and opened the door. My eyes were closed tightly in a nervous manner.  _Hehe.. I-I've known that he would never give up on me!_  I blushed a bit and smiled in relief for the first time, since our parting.

"Hello, sir!" My mind was blank.  _Sir? What the fuck-_  I opened my eyes. I saw some rather young boy who was holding a letter. He passed me it and handed me a pad with a piece of paper on it and wanted to hand me a pen, but I was just staring at him blankly. I've never felt such disappointment in my whole life. The boy tilted his head. "Sir..? Can I ask for a sign?" he smiled awkwardly.

I quickly snapped from my disappointment and took the pen. "Yes, yes.." I sighed and smiled a bit. I swiftly signed the paper and gave it back to him. "Goodbye!" he said as I closed the door.

I rested my back on the door. At that moment I realized just how much I had been wanting to see Nagito. How much I craved to talk with him, even if he would be saying literally some fucking bullshit. I didn't care.  _I-I may want him a bit.. a-a small bit._  I chuckled gloomily as I opened the letter, because I had hoped that it was at least from him, but it wasn't. It was just some shitty advisement letter from my bank.

_Well fuck my life._

 

\- a few days later -

Over those few days, I visited the cafe every each day. And so visiting it became my new habit through the next two weeks. I always sat before the same table, rested my chin on it and looked as Nagito was making coffee, serving some orders, smiling to others, talking to them and brushing his hands through the white locks on his head. I missed him. I wanted his attention.

Whenever some girls started acting all flirty around him, I wanted to butt in and say to fuck off from him. I didn't know when exactly I acknowledged that I might hold some feelings for Nagito, but at that point I didn't care about it.

I looked through the window. It was a bit after noon, when I went into this cafe, but now it was almost night. I couldn't believe that I had spent so much time in there, I felt ashamed.

Suddenly I saw Nagito in his normal casual clothes waving at his workmate and saying some goodbyes. That was when I came up with some fucked up idea to track him to see where he lived. I - Hajime Hinata - was stalking my stalker. Pretty ironic, isn't it?

I tried to keep some distance between us, but what was kind of reliving, Nagito didn't turn in my way even once. _That means I'm safe.. most likely? Hehe.._ I didn't have much time left for thinking though, because he suddenly approached some house. The building wasn't big, it was rather a small flat. I waited around five minutes, after he had closed the door. As soon as I thought that some decent amount of time had passed, I knocked on it softly.

The door opened slightly. "Who's there..?" it was nice to hear his voice directed to me once again. I didn't feel that nervous, till now. I wondered what the fuck was I even doing there, but it was a bit too late to turn back. "I-it's Hajime! I-I uhh.." the door opened wider revealing more of Nagito. I looked into his eyes seeking some warmness in them, but they were rather cold and distant. He crossed his arms over his chest and rested his back on the doorframe.

"Y-you haven't.. stal-" I bit my tongue, "visited me for a while, so I wanted to check if you're fine.." I saw a hint of smile on Nagito's face, which made me blush. I made a few steps backwards and started turning back. "B-but I see that you're okay, so I'm going ba-" he grabbed me by my collar and pulled inside his house. I groaned a bit and looked nervously on sides, "Oh..." he closed the door and locked it on a few locks. I started sweating. "N-Nagito..?" he pushed me against a wall.

I closed my eyes tightly expecting him to do something painful or violent to me.. but he didn't. He just put his hand on my hair and patted it. "Hello, Hajime.. I missed you." he suddenly pulled me into a warm loving hug. "H-huh? You 'missed me'?! You left me alone for almost three fucking weeks and now you say that you mi-" he placed his lips onto mine making me unable to express my anger. The kiss was soft and not forceful, so I could push him away, but I didn't do it. I didn't want to. I in some way craved to be close with him, so instead of pushing him away I shyly wrapped my hands around his back pressing him closer to me, which made him to smile against my lips.

What was weird some tears started running down my face. He must've felt them too, because he pulled away from me and wiped my tears away. "Shhh.. don't cry." he looked at me sadly. I chuckled. "Y-you know that you're crying too, right?" he tilted his head puzzled. "O-oh.." he smiled lovingly at me, "I'm just really happy, to see you once again." he sank his hand into my hair brushing his fingers caringly through it.

"...really?" I frowned and pursed my lips. "Are you?" I asked cynically. "I am, Hajime..! You don't know how hard those three weeks were for me. You don't know how much I needed to restrain myself and how much pain it was causing me..." I frowned deeply. "What..? Restrain? For what reason exactly..?" I laughed a bit, since it seemed a bit farfetched to me.

His face darkened. "Hehehe.." he laughed in a bit mad manner. "A-are you fine?" I asked with a hint of concern.

He stuck his eyes on mine. "Yeah.." he placed his hand over my face and slowly slid it down. His fingers rested finally under my chin cupping and lifting it up. "Anyway, why are you here, Hajime?" Komaeda smirked. "I-I... I wanted to see, if you're fine?" he placed a finger over his lip. "Oh, really..?" his smile seemed more innocent now, but it wasn't making me relieved at all. It was scaring me actually. "Yes..?" my smile twitched since I wasn't telling the whole truth.

"So you were just checking if I was fine over those two past weeks, by observing me, while I was working at the cafe, huh?" I wanted to nod, but then the meaning of his words came to me. "Wait- what?! Y-you knew that I was observing you from the very beginning?" I blushed feeling a wave of overwhelming embarrassment.

"Yup. It was hard to not notice such a cute boy, who was looking at me with those dreamy loving eyes~" he lifted my chin higher and leaned closer to me, so I could feel now his warm breath on my face. I pouted, "W-well.. I admit that I was visiting the cafe over those two weeks, BUT-" I cleared my throat, "It was just a coincidence that I was spending time at the cafe where you work and the fact that I laid my eyes on you once or twice doesn't mean anything." I said confidently because I believed that he would buy my lie.

Komaeda leaned even closer to me and now he was whispering directly to my ear making me shiver, "Hmmm.. you're truly adorable, Hajime." I tried to get away from him, but he strengthened the grip on my chin. "The fact that you're desperately trying to lie to me is quite tempting.. I can't resist you~" he breathed to my ear.

"W-what? I am NOT lying.." I felt as a drop of sweat fell from my forehead.

"Really..? Tell me then, how did you learn where I live?" Komaeda caressed my cheek, I closed my eyes to not look into his. "I-I asked one of your workmates perhaps..?" Komaeda chuckled. "Really? So you weren't tracking me, since I left the cafe, were you?" my cheeks heated up, my legs started feeling weak. I felt really transparent to him and it was making me feel uncomfortable. "..I-I ughh.. I-" my voice and my whole body was trembling also my legs started failing me even more, so I slowly slid down the wall and sat on the floor hugging my knees. "..aybe." I said with muffled voice.

"What?~" Komaeda kneeled next to me. I looked at him, while trying to hide my embarrassment. "I-I was, okay?!" I hid myself once again.

He kissed my hair softly, making my heart to skip a beat. "Mhm.. you've wanted to see me that badly?" he said, while I was trying to calm down. "B-badly is a bit too much.. only a bit." I didn't know what was I even saying anymore. The atmosphere made me feel light and somehow words were just coming out of my mouth on their own will.

"I wonder.. do you hate me? Do you feel disgust towards trash like me, who was stalking you for months?" he placed his hand on my knee. My heartbeat fastened. I lifted my head up looking directly into his eyes. "I don't hate you. I mean.. you did plenty of bad and unforgivable things to me, but still..." I smiled at him warmly. Suddenly his sweet smile turned into a wide smirk, which made me feel endangered. "Then.. how do you feel about me?" he slid his hand down my leg.

"I-I.. I don't know, okay?!" I quickly stood up and tried to unlock the door, but before I managed to do it he hit it with his two hands. I was caged in-between them, not able to find any route of escape. "Are you sure, Hajime? Or are you trying to simply avoid the topic?" I didn't see his face since my front was pressed against the door.

"I DON'T KNOW, Nagito.." I repeated myself, hoping that he'd let me go. "Hehe.. Hajime~" he kissed my neck all of sudden, "You don't need to tell me it.. I already know it anyway." he giggled.

I was so surprised that I wanted to see for myself if he was serious about it, so I turned to him and looked straight into his gray-green eyes. "Hah.. R-Really? Will you enlighten me then?" I tried to smirk, but I would lie, if I told that at that moment I wasn't freaking out. I just couldn't believe that he was bold enough to tell me what kind of feelings I held for him, when even I wasn't sure of them back then. "T-tell me how I feel about you if you know it so well." I said harshly. I wanted to push him away with my hand, but he grabbed it firmly in the midway pinning it to the door. "Sure~" he smiled happily, "Remember the day before our three-week-long parting..?" I nodded hesitantly while trying to overtake his thought process, but to be honest I had no idea what he was about to say.

"You told me to go away and leave your house.. but I didn't do it." my mind felt so empty that it caused me to chuckle a bit. "D-does it change anything..?" I laughed nervously since the answer was somewhere deep in my conscious and I knew that I was fucked.

"Believe me, it does, Hajime. Will you tell me what were you doing, after I 'went away'?" Komaeda tilted his head innocently.

I blushed madly. "N..n-nothing." Komaeda bursted with a laugh. "Who are you trying to deceive, darling? Me or yourself? I know e-x-a-c-t-l-y what were you doing. I've heard everything with my own two ears... and I still regret that I didn't help you there a bit~" he placed his hand over my chest and slowly started sliding it down.

"Th-that just means that you're a pervert!!" I desperately tried to defense myself. "Oh, you're probably right.. I am a pervert." his hand was now on my hip. I swallowed down my saliva. "But who is the bigger one, huh? I wasn't the one who had a dirty dream about a person that slept just next to me, Hajime." I started choking with my own saliva.

"W..WHAT?!! I-I..." my chest started lifting up and down nervously. "You probably want to know, why I know about your little secret, right?~" he didn't give me any time for reply, probably because he knew that I wasn't able to gather up my thoughts. "You were shamelessly calling my name in your sleep through your beautiful lips.. to be honest, I couldn't restrain myself after hearing your moans, so I kissed you a few times and it probably made things even worse for you. But you seemed to enjoy it as much as me, so adding all the facts together... Hajime." I looked at him, I expected him to smirk, but he was looking at me desperately. His eyes seemed to be drowning in deep affection. Just looking into them was making me feel warmer.

"There are only two possibilities; the first one is that you just have some weird habit or kink to think about random people when you jerk off or-" I forcefully released my hands from his and I wanted to slap his face, but I contained myself from doing it, so I just shut him up with my hands. I flustered, "Are you stupid?! Who do you think I am, huh?" he grabbed my both hands softly. "So... you thought about me purposely, right?" I opened my mouth widely. I was shook, flushed, embarrassed.. all at once. "I-I.. d-dammit!" he was still holding my hands, so I couldn't hide before them, which was making me even more blushed.

"I-I wouldn't call it purposely. You are in my head all the time even though I don't want you to be there. I just can't stop thinking about you. At the cafe I couldn't stop tracking you with my eyes, my lips can't forget how it is to kiss you. I can't stop wanting to hear your voice.. I can't stop wanting to know why you care about someone as plain as me so much, why do you l-love me, why do you stalk me.... it all is too much for me to take." I felt that I was blurting out nonsense, but actually I was telling things directly from my heart. "You know.. my heart hurt so much, when I couldn't see y-" tears fell down from Komaeda's eyes like a waterfall. I blushed heavily as I realized what I had just said.

I smiled at him lovingly, although I still didn't feel comfortable to show him my feelings. "You know.. I can't stop thinking that if you approached me normally, asked me out like a normal person, things would be waaaay less complicated." I chuckled and so did Nagito, while sniffling. "I am sorry, Hajime... i-it's just.... that you didn't remember me and it was very hurtful." he looked down, tears were still running down his face. He grabbed my hands tighter. "H-Hajime... you probably don't remember what happened 13 years ago, do you..?" he chuckled sadly.

"I-I.." I closed my eyes desperately trying to remember what could happen then, but no matter how hard I tried to remember I couldn't find Nagito in my older memories. "..."

He smiled sadly. "It's fine.. I can't blame you for not remembering me. I mean, how could I expect that you would remember someone as meaningless as me..? Hahaha.." he laughed in a rather not normal way, "But you know what, Hajime..? Back then.. you gave me something that brought the meaning back to my life. You gave me hope.." his hands started shaking a bit. "I-If not you.. I wouldn't be alive. I wouldn't experience so many great things.. ahh. I own you so much more than you can imagine.." he looked at me with eyes filled with something that I couldn't quite comprehend. His eyes were reflecting just so much passion, affection and pureness that I wasn't sure if it was even possible.

His angelic pure side was astonishing. I would completely surrender to him now if not even weeks ago, if not my stubborn character and his very visible creepy side.

"Nagito.. can't you tell at least just a small hint where we have met..? I mean.. I really can't remember and it bugs me." I looked at him pleadingly.

"Hajime.." his eyes filled with tears, "I-I can't tell you.. b-but it's not like the past matters to me as much as you think it does. I mean.." he pulled my closer resting his head on my shoulder, "You're the Hajime I love no matter if you remember me or not." he grabbed me by my waist and hugged tightly. I sighed and hugged him back.

We stayed like that for a few minutes. He seemed to be needing some warmness, so I didn't try to get away, but rather patiently waited till he released me. "Nagito.." I said softly.

"Yes?" he tilted his head puzzled.

"C-can I use your bathroom..?" I scratched my cheek in embarrassment, while blushing a bit.

He blinked a few times surprised by my sudden normal question. "O-oh.. yes! Naturally... go to the hallway and then just turn left, okay..?" he instructed me. I nodded, "Sure! Thank you." I sighed in relief. To be honest I just wanted to wash my face and clear my mind. When I was with him my common sense seemed to dissolve in thin air.

I went to the hallway and noticed two doors; one on the left, one on the right. _Ehhh... he told me to turn left or right..?_ I laughed nervously. I guess, I'll go to the door on the right side. I shrugged and opened the door without further hesitation.

I obviously expected to see a bathroom, but what I saw was definitely _not_ it. I would just close the door and head to the right one, but.. what I saw was truly... terrifying. At least it was my first impression.

The room itself was normal. It was Nagito's bedroom most likely. It obviously had a bed, some desk and a carpet and all the other normal stuff... but it had something that made me to make a startled gasp. _I-is it a shrine made of MY things..?_ I frowned. _I see there.. a few of my ties, some pieces of paper with my handwriting and doodles, the letter that I wrote to him as a reply for his, which is hung on the wall as if it was some certificate or piece of art.. and o-oh my..._ I picked up some clothing. _Isn't it my underwear..?_ I examined the material and then my eyes focused generally on the shrine. _Oh, great... I-I see more pairs._ I shivered. _Th-that basta-_

Suddenly the door creaked. I dropped the underwear in surprise and looked behind me without turning back. Komaeda was looking down, his lips were formed into a mischievous smile. I didn't have the guts to face him, so I quickly turned my head back to him. "Oh, Hajime.. you saw it, didn't you?" he chuckled insanely. I couldn't recognise his emotions. Was he mad? Sad? Happy? Or disappointed? I really couldn't tell.

I tried my best to keep my posture. "S-saw what? I didn't see anything!!" my voice was high pitched out of nerves. I heard light footsteps getting closer. I closed my eyes tightly and clenched my fists. Suddenly Komaeda pressed against my back hugging me from behind. "Oh, really?~" he hugged me tighter, while I suddenly noticed a really familiar object on the desk. It was a small book. I took it in my hands feeling the texture of it with my fingers. It seemed old and was giving me that weird feeling of déjà-vu. "What is it..?" Komaeda suddenly flinched, which made me think that the item was important to him, so his light laugh made me feel really confused.

"It's nothing, just a book, Hajime. You can have it if you want. It used to be yours anyways..." he rubbed his head against me. _He probably found it somewhere in my house.. that would explain why he said that it used to be mine... right?_ I sighed.

"W-well.. thanks. You can keep it though. It seems important to you." I said, while opening the book, because I was a bit curious of what could written inside of it. The book seemed to contain photos of animals and flowers with short motivational sentences. It was quite a cute book. I was smiling, while flipping the small pages till I finally reached the end. There was something that looked like a leaf placed safely between the pages. I picked it up. It was a four-leaved clover or more like a ring made of it. The longer I looked at it the stronger that déjà-vu feeling was getting. I had a feeling that I had forgotten about something very important.

And then without any warning I remembered everything.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The whole chapter is about their past ~ It's pretty short, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyways <3

When I was 8-year-old, I broke my leg and was forced to spend a few days in a hospital. Those days were really boring and I craved for at least a little bit of entertainment. My family gave me some books, but as a kid I used to be an ignorant towards literature, so I really didn't feel reading them. And that was exactly when someone caught my eye; a boy that was laying in a hospital bed next to me. He didn't talk to anyone, excluding nurses and doctors, so for the most of the time he was just staring expressionless at the ceiling and one day out of boredom I decided to talk to him.

"Hey." he didn't even turn his head in my way which made me annoyed. I used to be an impatient kid (and not much has changed; now I'm an impatient adult). "Heeey.." I sat at the edge of my bed, while being aware that I needed to be cautious with my broken leg. His puzzled eyes met with mine. "What do you want from me?" the boy asked, while sitting up. I was astonished by his hair, it looked extremely fluffy and seemed to collide with his character. His grumpy, depressed look really didn't seem to suit his cute face and hair. "Nothing.. you're the only kid in the whole hospital and I'm really bored, so please.. could you play with me?" I smiled awkwardly, while the boy sighed. "A bit?" I added.

He looked at me pleadingly. "Leave me alone, I beg you." he said and laid back on the bed.

"Arghh.. fine!" I pouted and laid on my own bed. I was pissed that he didn't want to play with me. "I-I won't ever say a word to you!" I shouted loudly gaining attention of all the nurses and patients in the hospital room which only deepened my embarrassment. The boy didn't seem to care, my words couldn't mean less to him.

I was sulking for a whole day, but soon I gave up upon it. Boredom was unbearable.

"Hey, heeeey, heeeeeeey..." I kept repeating myself for what felt like 10 minutes. I knew that I was most likely annoying not only him, by everyone else as well, but it didn't matter to me. I was a selfish kid who didn't care what others thought or could think about me.

But..

No matter how much I repeated myself, I didn't get any response. So I decided to just talk to him leaving aside the fact that he probably wouldn't even listen to me. "Well.. I'm Hajime Hinata, if you were interested, but you're obviously not... anyway. You know.. I'm here only for a few days, but I'm already bored. Nurses turn on only some boring news on the TV, bring us only disgusting food and no sweets... and I dunno what to do.. ehh.. I'm so boooored..." I sighed, while looking up at the ceiling and closing my eyes. "And you won't respond, huh? Am I that annoying..?" silence followed my question, but I continued anyway, since I was craving for anyone's accompany. "Y'know what's the worst? My parents brought me ONLY books! Books! I am a kid... books are nothing more than tones of boring scribbles to me.. and unluckily those are only some-" I suddenly heard a chuckle.

"W-what was that?" I opened my eyes widely and looked at the boy. I heard a chuckle once again. He was laying on the bed in the way that he was facing me. He hid his face in his hands, his cheeks became slightly pink. "O-oh.. forgive me." he said, while calming down his laugh, "You're just too funny." the boy said softly.

"..." I pursed my lips, but I didn't sulk for even half of a minute, since I was kind of excited that I finally had gotten some response from the grumpy boy. "You can talk normally, huh?" I said with teasing voice.

"I'm sorry.." he said, while looking at me as if he did something very wrong. "Wait- why do you apologize me? You did nothing wrong..?" I looked at him with confused eyes. "More importantly...." and so we actually started talking. I was happy to have some accompany and he surprisingly was a good one. He didn't talk much, but he was good at listening to my complains and he even managed to help me to look at some things with more optimism.

And one day.. the boy who used to spend all the time on his hospital bed, wasn't there. My leg obviously haven't healed completely yet, but I could at least walk with the help of some walking stick, so I set off to look around for him.

I was a bit surprised to find him in less than 5 minutes. It seemed that he wanted to breath with some fresh air, because I found him on the hospital's roof. He was standing close to the edge. I would be scared, if I was him. I smiled happily and approached him from behind placing my hands on his eyes to tease him a bit, "Hey, guess who's this?~" I said playfully, but soon I regretted blinding him with my hands because he was more startled than I had expected him to be. He started struggling unconsciously reducing the distance between his feet and the edge. I realized how dangerous it was so I pulled him all the way towards myself making him fall on top of me.

I groaned, because he was quite heavy. "I'm sorry for pulling you down so suddenly.. I didn't want you to fall." I said while opening my eyes. What I saw made me more than surprised. He was crying. "H-hey.. I'm sorry? Shhh.. don't cry, okay?" I didn't know how should I react.

I waited patiently till he stopped crying and then asked him to get off from me. I helped him to stand up and now we were looking at each other without saying a word which was awkward. "I-" I wanted to say something random, but then he interrupted me.

"Hajime.. thank you. And I'm sorry for causing you a problem." I was surprised that he thanked me and was sorry, since he didn't seem to me to have any reason to do any of those. "You're welcome.." I said hesitantly. The atmosphere was still a bit awkward, so I decided to suggest something fun for us to do. "I want to show you something, are you up to it?" I said with a hit of excitement in my voice. "O-oh.." he sniffled. "Yes!" he blushed a bit.

I smiled and started leading him somewhere. He eventually realized that it was a bit painful for me to walk. "Hajime, can I help you a bit?" he asked shyly. "Oh.. yeah, thanks that would be cool." I smiled with gratitude as he placed his arm on my back. I went along and wrapped my hand around his neck supporting myself on his shoulder. It was embarrassing yet surely helpful at the same time. Soon we reached the place. I told him to close his eyes and grabbed his hand softly leading him towards it. We stood on the middle of a meadow. You could see lots of beautiful flowers on it since it was a spring back then.

"You can open your eyes now~" I said proudly, because I had known that the he was going to love what he was about to see. He opened his eyes, his mouth opened in surprise and cheeks tinted with pink. I saw his genuine smile for the very first time. I blushed as I saw him literally sparkling; I expected him to be happy, but not as much as he was.

He kneeled and looked at the flowers warmly; his smile and general look suited to this place. It seemed that with him flowers looked even more beautiful. "Thank you for showing me it, I love this place!" he said, while standing up and giving me a graceful smile.

"You're welcome." I giggled a bit. After it we parted our ways for a while, exploring the meadow on our own. Suddenly the boy waved at me, calling me and asking to come to him. "Hajime, can you see it?" I tilted my head and kneeled next to the boy trying to find the thing that he was pointing out. "See what?" I couldn't find it no matter how hard I tried. He giggled, while picking up some green plant from the ground.

"It's a four-leaved clover~" his eyes shone brightly. "Oh, I see... wait- is that even possible?!" I looked at the clover closely examining if he didn't temper with it. "Wow... it looks really beautiful." I said with admiration. "You're so lucky.. I'm jealous. I wouldn't find such a treasure even if I was looking for it the whole day." I chuckled. The boy laughed lightly and then he suddenly clapped his hands. "Wait a sec~" I tilted my head. He started doing something with the clover and I wasn't really sure what. When he finished, he suddenly looked at me shyly.

"C-can you give me your hand for a moment..?" he smiled awkwardly, while his cheeks were growing red. "Yeah.." I said hesitantly, while letting him to grab it. I was surprised when I realized that he was putting something on my finger. "Wh-" he finished before I managed to question his doing. "You can keep it. I feel that I own you a lot. I know that the ring isn't a proper payment, but-"

I looked at my hand. There was a ring made of the clover on my finger. "O-ohh.. this looks cute." I said while chuckling. "I think it's a waste to give it to me though.. I mean- look at me. My plainness is even more visible now that I wear it." I laughed. 

"Believe me, you look as cute as the clover." he giggled softly, while looking at some flowers next to him. "Well.. ehh. Thanks." I wasn't sure, if I should be happy that someone called me cute.

Suddenly some nurse approached us. "Oh, there you are!" she grabbed Nagito by his hand. "You need to take your medicine." her voice was lacking warmness which was making it sound harshly. "I-I'm sorry, Hajime." he said, while looking down, but soon he smiled a bit. "It's fine, let's head back together." I smiled, while patting his back. He smiled back at him and soon we both were laying in our own beds. I start slowly falling asleep, when I suddenly remembered that I was still wearing that clover ring. I quickly took it off and placed it between pages of some random book.

The next day was the last one of my stay in the hospital. I already packed most of my stuff and was about to pack the books, that my parents gave me, but then suddenly the boy approached me. "H-hey.." he said shyly. "You're leaving..?" I swear that he looked as if he was about to cry. "Yup. My leg is almost healed, that's what my parents said to me at least.. it still hurts a bit, but they say I don't need to stay here for any longer." I stated, while picking up some books. I took a bit too much of them, so I ended up dropping them all on the floor. The white-haired boy started helping me to gather them up. He handed me all the books he had picked up except for a one.

"Can I have a look on it?" he asked me unsurely. "Mhm, yea-" I suddenly saw my parents before the doorframe. They were giving me that impatient look. "Oh.. I need to rush!" I shoved the books inside my backpack and went to my parents. "W-what about the book?" he shouted from afar. "You can keep it. Bye!" I shouted back and went out of the hospital room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *coughs* Y-you can leave a comment, if you want >///< And thank you, if you left some already in the previous chapters, I love reading them so so much!! I really appreacite every form of supporting my story/stories ♡♡♡


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not posting anything for a longer while! I don't plan to ever stop writing, but sometimes I don't feel inspired to write or just plainly don't have time for it :'3 Anyway, before you read it, you should know the chapter contains mainly smut.. I don't write such things often, so I'm sorry if it's weird. Please be understanding, hehe.. I am not some pro after all.

I was staring at the clover a bit too intense making Komaeda worried. "Hajime, is something wrong?" I quickly snapped out of my trance and blushed, while placing the clover back to its place. "Mhm? N-no, no! I'm fine. Really. It's nothing.." I smiled weakly and put the book on the desk.

"Well.. if you say so." he said hesitantly and started heading out of the room. My heart thumped nervously. I grabbed Komaeda by his shirt not giving it much thought. "..wait." I said quietly, while looking down. "Huh?" Komaeda stopped and turned to me. "W-wait, please.. I... I want to ask you something." my head was in mess. "One small thing." I swallowed down feeling something heavy on my heart.

He looked at me warmly, "Ask me about as many things as you only wish, Hajime." he grabbed my hand softly, "But.. let's talk in some more proper place, alright?" he had waited for my nod, before he leaded me back to the living room.

We were just sitting and not looking in each other eyes for a longer while building up a quite tense atmosphere between us. "Nagito-" I started, but he let out his voice at the same time, "Hajime- uhh.. I-I'm really sorry!" he brushed his hair awkwardly, his cheeks tinted with some bright pink. "I didn't mean to interrupt you.. go on first." he let out a sheepish chuckle.

I took a deep breath, while trying to look for some right words which would express my worries to him properly. I felt the need to tell them to him in order to get rid of that heavy feeling, which was growing unbearable with every past minute,  inside of my chest. "I've remembered you," Nagito's eyes sparkled, "b-but before you'll say anything, let me finish, okay?" he nodded and focused his eyes on me as if he was trying to read every bit of me. I frowned slightly and bit into my lip, "Tell me, why do you care about me so much..?" Komaeda tilted his head confused, "Because I love you.." he smiled lovingly.

I blushed, "I-I know it already, idiot! It's just that... in the past I didn't do anything special? I was just a kid who talked to you a bit too much, because I was bored? I-I.. am talentless, boring, there's nothing-"

All of sudden tears started running down Komaeda's face stopping me from talking bad about myself. "You're not, Hajime! You're  _definitely_ not!" he took a deep breath, "I've watched you through way longer than just these few months, so I know it more than anyone else..! I remember how hard you were learning in high school and how stressful it was for you. One look at your face was telling me more than enough. Your parents divorced, you hardly ever had anyone beside Souda to support you.. but you've never given up!" he smiled widely, his eyes were filled with admiration, "Even though the world around you was nothing more than despair, you seemed like a light in the dark. A light that had its own source that has never dimmed." his cheeks started growing red, he grabbed my hand softly, "I-In the past as a kid I was admiring the hope that was sleeping inside of you, but when I realized after years that we had been attending the same school, my eyes were always seeking for you. I wanted you and I still do. You are truly my hope and someone very special to me... I know that I'm creepy and that I am definitely expecting too much from you. That's why I'm fine with just being next to you.. if I could ask for a one thing.. please... don't throw me away..!" he started sobbing, his eyes were getting puffy from shedding too many tears. 

I sighed, stood up from the couch and pulled him into a hug not without hesitation. "I-I won't, so don't cry." I patted his back. "I'm happy!" he sniffled and rubbed his head against my chest, "H-Hajime.. I love you." I flinched a bit being surprised by his sudden confession. "A-aha.. thank you." I blushed still not being used to hearing those two words and was glad that he wasn't looking at me at the moment.

But I couldn't be glad for too long, since he grabbed me firmly by my shirt and focused his eyes on me. "H-how do you feel about me?" he made puppy eyes. I smiled in embarrassment, "W-well.. heh.. I-I like you..? A bit? Maybe?" I looked away from him, while saying it.

He pouted and pulled me closer to him connecting our lips tenderly. "I'll make you say that you love me someday~" he smirked making me feel embarrassed and salty at once. "You'll be begging me on your knees for me to touch you and I assure you that you won't be able to live without me anymore hehe..." he grinned mischievously. I couldn't take him seriously, so I bursted out with laugh. He tilted his head confused.

"Aren't you talking about yourself, Nagito? I mean... pfffft. There's no way I would become so desperate for you.. maybe in your dreams." I smirked. He still had that weird innocent expression which didn't seem safe. "Oh, really? Let's see if you're as tough as you think you are, shall we?" he smiled widely making me feel shivers all over my body. He reduced all the distance between us by taking a step forward and grabbing me by my waist.

"W-wait, no! I didn't agree to anything like that! Stop, Nagito, p-please..!!" my whole face reddened. I closed my eyes tightly.

I felt his warm breath on my neck, but then suddenly.. he just chuckled. "Awwww.. you know that you still can run away, right? I won't force you to anything tonight." He whispered into my ear, "I'm giving you three seconds."  _W-what?!_  My lips twitched nervously, my body started trembling from fear and sudden hesitation. "Three.. two...." I dryly swallowed down.  _Run Hajime, run! Why are you still here?! What the--_  "One..~" he cupped my chin and kissed me deeply. I opened my eyes, but soon after closed them as our gazes met.

It seemed that Nagito didn't plan to step away from me soon this time, just the opposite. The kisses were quickly getting more passionate and deep. I felt that I was slowly losing my mind, if I hadn't lost it already the moment I started sneaking behind Nagito on his way home.

I noted in my head that it was a really bad idea and that I shouldn't have done that. Not that I could anyhow change my past decisions unlooked-for. All I could do was to go along with his desires or try to put a pointless fight. "N-Nagi..!!" he slid his tongue deeper inside my mouth pressing me closer to himself. I could feel his warmth and loud heartbeat. He was more into it than I imagined him to be. The way he was doing things seemed desperate and determined by an urge.

I slowly started lacking oxygen, so I forced him to lean back from me, which wasn't easy. "Hajime.." he gasped out, his cheeks were dusted with red, his lips formed into a loving smile, and his eyes sparkling. I didn't need to be Sherlock Holmes to deduce that he was feeling overwhelming happiness. And honestly.. I couldn't not smile a bit, while seeing him like that. "Y-you haven't even tried to run away.. I'll take that as your answer to my feelings for now." he said, while undoing my tie and smirking. I partly was paralyzed and just couldn't move my body, but somewhere deep inside I knew that I was looking forward more from Nagito. I couldn't help being excited. But still.. the fear was inside me making a shivering mess from my body.

Soon he reconnected our lips, while undoing the buttons of my shirt. It didn't take him long to undo all of them and slowly slid the clothing off my body making me feel exposed.

I wasn't that bothered by the fact that I was completely shirtless till I felt his cold hands sliding up and down through my chest. Firstly, his touch was soft, accompanied by loving and tender kisses, but soon as if some switch had simply switched on inside his head, the kisses were becoming rough and impatient as well as his touch eager and slightly lewd. His touch was setting my skin on fire.

I  _almost_  started feeling fine with that little makeout session, that we had, till his hand all of sudden slid lower than I was comfortable with. I gasped in distress and disbelief as his fingers laid on my bare hip. I started feeling scared of the possibility of him becoming more forceful with me. I didn't know what that guy was capable of after all. But he didn't seem to get my allusions nor see the very visible hint of fear in my eyes; his expression was pretty much unshaken as if he was in a trance and couldn't see more than his own desires. 

I didn't have time to wonder though, since our lips were soon pressed back against each other. I would lie, if I told that kissing with him did no difference to me. I felt as if the kisses were poisoning and infecting my body with passion. I occasionally was begging him, whimpering and crying to stop it all, but I eventually gave in, since he actually seemed to enjoy my resistance and was getting even more forceful when I tried to fight him.

I was so caught up in the situation that when my back pressed against a wall behind me without any warning and I saw him taking off his shirt in rush, while huffing heavily, I was literally wordless. "N-Nagi.. ahh-!" he pressed our bodies together. I could feel his heated up, slightly sweaty skin on my own. I knew that it was weird to get embarrassed over it now all of sudden, but.. that skin to skin contact made me feel really bashful for some weird reason. I really wanted to run away, but under those circumstances that didn't seem possible anymore.

He looked at me warmly with understanding—as if he suddenly learnt to understand my feelings— and gave me a small loving kiss on my hair, which made my heart to quicken its beat. He cupped my chin and caressed my cheek, while looking at me with those weird loving eyes. I couldn't maintain any eye contact with him though, because it'd only deepen my embarrassment and uneasiness. He wrapped his arms tighter around my waist and placed his lips onto my neck kissing it softly at first, but soon as if he just changed his mind, he sank his teeth into my sensitive skin making me groan. "O-ouch!! That hurt as hell..!" I tried to push him away and I actually managed to succeed, but since he still was holding onto my waist I fell all the way down with him, landing on top of his half naked body.

I lifted up, supporting myself by placing my hands over his chest and sat on his lap. That was exactly when I noticed or more like  _felt_  his obvious bulge, which made me flustered. Surprisingly, he seemed really embarrassed by the fact that I had found it out.

I suddenly felt lost in that situation. I was still a virgin after all. I had no experience or whatsoever and what's more the thought of my virginity being stolen by a stalker was making me plainly terrified. So it wasn't surprising that now that I was sitting on top of hard-on Nagito I was doing nothing more than gazing into his half-lidded eyes and smiling nervously as if I lost my mind.

The awkward silence between us made me say things that I really regretted saying afterwards. "M-maybe we should go to your bed instead of making out on the floor?" I smirked a bit, but then the regret and embarrassment stroke in as I realized that it sounded as if proposed him to fuck in his bed. "U-uhh.." the visualisation of me and him having sex was quite appealing though. I gasped out, my face heated up, "Forget about it, please-!!" it was too late. Nagito stood up quickly pulling me up with him and grabbing me firmly by my hips.

"I was considering letting you go already.." he huffed, while sliding his pale fingers down my thighs, "but it seems that you finally want me as much as I want you, don't you?" he smiled sly;y and leaned for a yet another kiss. "I can't say no to your offer~" he said sweetly and kissed me way deeper than before which led to me making sounds which I craved to forget about.

I didn't even realized when exactly we ended up in his bed, things were happening just too quick, I wasn't able to follow them anymore. "Na.. gito?!" I hid half of my face behind my hands; all I could see was his large creepy and somewhat perverted smile. Every cell in my brain was screaming loud as fuck that this situation was even more dangerous than it seemed to be. "C-can I touch you..?" his shaky voice reached my ears, he panted from above me leaning closer, so I could clearly see his sparkling from tears eyes. Although I was taken-aback by the tears in his eyes, I shook my head in denial, however it seemed that it was a rhetorical question, so.. my answer simply wasn't really expected and needed from the very beginning.

He leaned closer to me. I could feel his warm breath on my neck. At that point I still was having an inner fight between my reason and feelings. Part of me wanted to go along with whatever Nagito was about to do with me. I wanted to believe that maybe he is actually quite a normal guy, who just didn't have courage to confess his feelings to his childhood crush in some normal way. But I quickly lost my empathy toward him as he took one of the ties from his collection of my stolen properties and blindfolded me with it. "-what. Take that damn thing off!!" I tried to undo the blindfold by myself, but he stopped me from doing it by tying my hands together with another tie and pinning them above my head. "Ahh, now you won't get away no matter what~" he stated happily as he straddled me. I let out a nervous gasp. My heart was about to burst, because of all the fear and mixed feelings.

For a while he wasn't doing anything which made me think that maybe he decided to stop it here. I was foolish to think so. He was just starting his fun.

The first thing I felt was a sloppy feeling on my neck. I imagined that he was licking and kissing it messily. I had no idea what that guy had planned to do with me, but whatever it was, it surely wasn't anything safe.

Suddenly, he laid a finger on my torso and slowly slid it down sending a shiver down my spine. Since I didn't see anything beside darkness, I was a bit more sensitive. I didn't like being within his grasp, "H-hey stop it..! What the fuck are you-" I heard his light chuckle, I could imagine that he had a wide smirk on his face at that moment. "Shhh, Hajime.." he shut me by kissing me deeply. He panted, "I'll take care of everything.. so don't be scared." he said sweetly. I shivered in answer.  _I feel like a victim that is about to be killed by a serial killer.... H-how can I not be scared in this kind of a situation?! How can that idiot have guts to tell me not to be scared..! h-how.. dumb is he exactly?_

He planted a few kisses on my neck and then lower on my collarbone and chest. He was sucking hard on every bit of my body. I was sure that he left some marks and hickeys on my body.

It too quickly started feeling good and I wanted to muffle my soft moans with my hand, but then I remembered that he was still pinning my both hands above my head. As if he noticed my embarrassment, he said, "D-don't be shy.. I love every little sound you make, so please, keep blessing me with them." although he said 'please', it was more like a demand.

He reconnected our lips. In a form of rebellion I clenched my teeth, but it just egged him on even more. He bit my lip painfully making me groan which led to me opening my mouth for him. His tongue quickly slid into it tangling with mine. I moaned into his mouth, since I wasn't able to hold back my voice anymore. It seemed that the kiss was only a distraction. Not a good one, though. I soon found out that he started pulling my pants down. I bit his tongue. It indeed made him to part his lips away from mine, but didn't stop him from pulling my pants all the way down. "H-hey, hey, hey- a-aren't you going  _a bit_  too far?" I smiled shaken, while secretly hoping that he would consider ending it already.

His hand laid on my crotch. "Hmmm.. maybe." he chuckled, "But all of it is necessary. Anyway.. aren't you a terrible lair?" he whispered to my ear. "I can let you go, but.. hah.. you're pretty hard already, Hajime.." he kissed my bulge. "Doesn't that mean that you're enjoying it too?" he said with honeyed voice.

"W-what.." I blushed and for the first time felt glad that I was blindfolded. At least he wasn't able to see how heated up my cheeks were. "Y-you're wrong..! I-it's just a normal physical reaction to fear, i-it doesn't mean anything ahh-!" he tugged on my underwear and slowly slid it down. The cold air hit my dick making me to let out a whimper. "W-what has gotten into you..?" I felt some tears gathering up in my eyes. "What is your goal..? I thought you loved me.." I sobbed.

Although I obviously didn't see him I could imagine him tilting his head. "I do. I love you from the bottom of my heart." his voice seemed warm and filled with deep affection. "That's why I want you.. I need to make you mine and-" he swallowed down and licked the shaft of my dick. "Ahh, forgive me.. this plan was actually the only one that I could come up with." he laughed care-freely.


	9. Chapter 9

"Now then.." he kissed the tip of my dick. "I can't make you wait, can I? That would be a disrespect to keep you away from the fun part.." his innocent voice made me feel puzzled.  _I-is he really going to do what I think he will..? Or is he just messing with me?_  I frowned, my heartbeat quickened. "You leak so much precum already.. hah.. Hajime. You're such a dirty boy~" he collected all of it with his tongue, while saying it.

"You keep telling me that you don't want it, but your body doesn't seem to agree with you... how cute." he huffed. His tongue was licking my dick and coating it with his salvia. A shaky breath left my lips. I felt as if he was mocking me. "You're evil.." I sobbed and heard a chuckle in answer which only deepened my frustration. "But you love it, when I'm like this to you, don't you?" his voice sounded rather sweet, but it had a hint of something eerie which was sending shivers throughout my body. My face darkened even though it still was in heat. "Y-you're wrong.. ahh.." I felt something warm and wet and.. delicate around my swollen lower part. I gasped. It felt better than I had expected it to feel, so for a while I couldn't gather up my thoughts. "..why do you have to show me your feelings in such a creepy way..?" I lifted my head up, a trickle of saliva run down from my lips.

His mouth felt so  _fucking good_. I felt a bit disappointed that I couldn't take a look at him sucking me off. I wondered what kind of expression he had on his pale, beautiful face. "N-Nagi-!" I was about to thrust myself deeper into his mouth, but he leaned back the exact moment making me feel literally desperate for more. I let out a soft whimper, my heart was beating like crazy, "H-huh..?" I felt disorientated. "Why.. why'd you stop?" I asked hesitantly honestly fearing the answer I could've gotten.

"Ahh.. I thought you wanted me to stop, Hajime." he said plainly, I couldn't sense any deeper emotion in his voice. "You aren't desperate for a trash like me after all, riiight?" his finger teased the skin of my throbbing dick, I cursed quietly. "Ahh, damn you, Nagito! Doing so far a-and then not letting me to come, that's just cruel.." I bit my lip, barely holding back from moaning as he gently and painfully slowly stroke my cock. "Th-that's such.. a dick move, ahh.." he suddenly stopped completely.

"I'll give you everything you want, if you only beg me for it~" he said playfully. "I won't ever beg you..!" I objected, feeling that somehow it'd hurt my pride as a man.

His voice became uninterested all of sudden, "Oh, really..? I shall leave you alone then.. you don't need my help after all, am I right?" the bed creaked a bit as he moved. I groaned feeling that I'd soon do something that I'd deeply regret. I blindly reached my hand up trying to grab him by anything; I ended up grabbing him by his white locks and pulling him down. "Don't go.. d-don't be like that, Nagito... I don't know what the fuck is going on inside your head, but at least take the responsibility for putting me in such a state." I pouted and heard as Nagito chuckled happily, he surely was pleased with the words I had said. 

His hand sank into my hair and gently brush through it; it was quite a nice feeling, almost romantic. But then.. I felt something unexpected. Nagito's fingers slid under the tie, with which I was blindfolded, and took it off. What I saw made the blood to rush to my cheeks immediately. The way he was looking at me through those half-lidded eyes was far more than seductive. It was something out of this world, no one has ever looked at me like that in my whole life.

"Of course..~" he breathed heavily against my stomach. "Do you feel good?" he asked like a curious child. I smiled weakly, blush started to grow red on my tanned face. "Well... h-how could I not feel good? You're my.. k-kind of... first sexual experience.." I looked away frustrated.

"Hmmm.." he smirked, "I'm going to make you addict to this feeling and unable to live without me.. I promised you that I'd take you, make you mine, didn't I?" he smiled innocently and then the warmth surrounded my cock once again. I couldn't hold back from bucking my hips deeper into him. At that moment he was moaning against the flesh making me feel even more blissful.

I've never known how amazing it feels.. to have someone done you a blowjob. Furthermore, Nagito was just amazing at it, I had no idea what kind of a spell he had casted on me, but with every past second the desire to be dominated by him was growing stronger in me. The way he did things was just so thrilling, exciting and at the same time.. full of deep affection. This mix of feelings was working like a drug on me; I wanted more. So  _fucking_  more.

I was sure that everything was going just the way he planned, but slowly my mind started not giving a shit about it. At that moment all I could think about was Nagito. 

"Hnnn..ghh.." I moaned, my eyes were closed tightly when I tilted my head to the back hitting the bedpost by accident. It hurt, but my body was so focused on the pleasure, which he was giving me with his mouth, that I couldn't care less about the slight pain at the back of my head. "Na.. nagh.. Nagito..! F-f.. uck.. fuck me more with.. w-with your mouth.." all of my muscles tensed up, especially the ones in my private part, as he deep throated me taking my whole length in and choking on it. I still was holding onto his hair, when my toes started curling in the bed sheets.

Soon I came in his mouth, while whining and moaning loudly not being able to hold back from keeping all the sounds in anymore. When I opened my eyes my vision was still blurred, but soon I regained it. Some of my cum was sliding down from his parted in smile lips, he licked it away and swallowed down everything.  _Everything_. I frowned, "W-wait.. you didn't..?" I smiled with disbelief and shame. 

He chuckled, "Oh, I did. I couldn't waste any drop of your precious-" my eyes widened, I shut him up with my both hands.

"D-don't call my.. cum... precious, th-that's weird.. you're such an idiot!" I flustered and pushed him down accidentally, or more like he made me push him down. "Na.. Nagito... don't look at me like that.. please." I pouted feeling somewhat happy and awkward.

He chuckled, "Like what, Hajime?" he caressed my arm.

"L-like... as if you loved me more than anything else in this world." I looked away, saying it out loud was quite embarrassing. He sat up and cuddled me tightly. "Who's an idiot here..?" he murmured softly into my ear. "I keep telling and telling you how much I love you, but you still don't seem to accept it." I guessed from his voice that he was irritated.

"H-huh..? I.. I just don't understand it. Just look at me. I'm plain from the top to the bottom, you can find guys like me everywhere.... ouch.." he hugged me even tighter. "Th-that's a bit.."

"Hajime." he pushed me down once again. "I love you. I want you. No one else can replace me you.." he sulked. His childish side was endearing. "I want to live with you, I want to make love with you.. I want you to love me back." his eyes filled with tears. "H-hehe.. my desires are quite selfish, aren't they..?" he chuckled sadly. "I understand if you don't wish for any of these to ever happen... I mean.. I am a trash. Trash that fell for you.." he sobbed.

I sighed. "Ughh.. I.. can... think about those things, okay? So don't cry. It's not like I hate you.. it's not like I dislike you... honestly, I think I like being with you." I wiped his tears away. "And a-anyway... aren't you still....?" I looked at the wet spot on his pants. He nodded shyly, while trying to hide his bulge feeling embarrassed that I pointed it out. "I-I can.." I bit my lip painfully, "let you to do me." the words left my lips hesitantly, leaving a weird aftertaste in my mouth as I spelled them. I was shocked that I said that more than anything. This situation was surely working weird on me, influencing my thought processes way more than it should. "..just this one time, o-okay?" I gulped. "We're not a couple or anything like that.. You are a stalker and I..." I blushed heavily. "I am.. I-I am y-your victim, alright? It's not like I-I'm gonna enjoy it, it's just that I rationally thought that you would do what you want anyway, so it'd would be better for me to agree to it beforehand. My pride won't be shuttered into pieces that way, I-I think....." I said way too many words than I intended to.

And evident smirk showed up on his face, "Victim, huh? If it helps you to feel better about this, then I guess it doesn't really bother me." he shrugged and kissed me on my lips. "You're rejecting your own feelings and hiding before the fact that I stalked you for a while. That's sneaky of you... I like it." he patted my hair with his skinny fingers.

"..." I stayed silent. I didn't need to answer to that after all.

"I hope you won't call cops afterwards, though. It could be a problem.." I frowned, I couldn't understand what he had on his mind. He continued, "If you really are a victim then.. that would count as a rape, wouldn't it?" he put a finger on his lip and pondered for a while.

"...I won't." I turned my head on the side. "How would I explain myself to them? That I let you to stalk me for months and then let you.. to fuck me without putting a proper fight? They would laugh from me.." I said with annoyance.

"Well, I guess.." he smiled in agreement. I closed my eyes tightly, my eyelids were twitching nervously. He kissed me open mouthed. "Shhh.. Don't be so nervous. I won't hurt you"

I calmed down temporarily, his soft voice was quite comforting, "...most likely." he grinned and stood up from the bed.

"H-huh?! Most.. likely? What the-" I couldn't believe that I was going to have my first time with that sort of a guy.  _I can't get him, I wonder if I ever will be able to understand him fully... I would love to, but it doesn't seem possible. At all._  I balanced myself on my elbows.

He laughed cheerfully, while taking something from his desk. A bottle, as far as I could see. "Shhhh.. Calm down, Hajime. I was just trying to relieve the tension. I will be very gentle with you." he sat at the edge of the bed and caressed my hair lovingly. "Even though you think of yourself as a victim, I don't want to hurt you... and anyway. Why would I want to hurt someone who I treasure so much..?" he sighed and smiled sadly. "I love you." My heart started beating faster, his feelings were finally reaching.

Indeed were reaching, I can't disagree, but it was happening very slowly. 

And even if his feelings were the real deal, most of his actions were still unforgiveable. And here comes the weird part; I already forgave him almost everything.

I blushed and stuttered, "Can we get o-over this already..?" I laid on my back and looked at Nagito partly anticipating and partly scared.

He raised one eyebrow and smirked. "Someone is being impatient here, awww~" he teased me, while taking off his pants.

"Look." I took a deep breath, "I-I am NOT impatient, I just want to be already after this, okay? So fuck me, do me, or just do whatever you fucking want, but-!!" he literally jumped on me. He settled between my legs making me feel embarrassed. And honestly, his cheerful smile was pissing me off. "Huh.. 'do whatever you fucking want'? If it's what Hajime wishes then I can't say no, can I?" he poured some lube on his fingers.

I was so fucking pissed off, but at the same time I couldn't wait to see what he wanted to do to me. And.. I was indeed impatient, but I would never admit it to him. I'd rather die than said it aloud. 

"What are you doing..?" I laughed nervously, when his finger touched my butthole without any warning.

He tilted his head. "Preparing you..? I mean.. you don't want to feel pain, do you?" he smiled in comforting way.

"I-I.. ughh!" all of sudden he pushed his finger in, I groaned. It felt really weird and not at all in a good way. I placed a hand over my mouth. I wondered if that kind of thing might've ever make me feel good.

I had my answer, when he added the second finger after a while.

It indeed didn't feel that nice at the beginning, but then his fingers hit that sensitive spot inside me. I let out a muffled moan. "S-shit! Th-this feels so weird..." my cheeks turned crimson red.

"Oh, Hajime! I love your expression at this moment! Is it lust?" he smiled innocently as he pushed his fingers deeper into me. "Do you want more?" his voice was sweet yet seductive, but I couldn't stop feeling like a prey caught up in a trap.

He pumped his finger in and out of me. I could guess that he wanted to put me on the edge and unluckily for me - he was doing it great. A trickle of saliva ran down from my lips, I threw my head to the back, this time not hitting the bedpost. 

"Ahh.. f-fuck you, Nagito! That's unfair.." some tears gathered up in the corners of my eyes. "Of course I want more, you d-damn asshole...", I murmured it quietly hoping that he wouldn't hear me. But I realized that he did, when his expression turned into a blissful one.

He was just so.. so happy.

I couldn't comprehend why me wanting more was making him so delighted that he even started crying.

He leaned in and kissed me messily a few times, his tears were crushing down on my cheeks. He took his fingers out and as he did it, I moaned loudly. Gladly for me I moaned against his lips, so the sound I made wasn't that loud.

Nagito pulled back from me for a moment, taking off his underwear and revealing his painfully hard cock. He was already leaking. If I were in such state, I wouldn't be able to hold back for as long as he was.

That was... quite impressive. Maybe. 

He really seemed to be doing his best to be gentle with me. If he was trying to just satisfy himself, he would be way more rough. Still.. if I had a choice, I wouldn't be now laying under him. Not that I regretted that we came that far. I was enjoying the present situation in my own way, I think.

From then on my eyes were shut, since it would be too embarrassing and awkward for me to keep looking.

"H-Hajime.." he breathed against my lips and lifted my legs above his shoulders. I suddenly felt something pushing into me, I frowned deeply and groaned in sickening pain and pleasure. It was a completely new feeling to me. I wasn't sure if I was able to endure it. "Can I..?" he asked politely.

I sighed and nodded, "Y-y.. yeah, I mean it's not like you.. would hold back judging the fact that.. ahh.. you seem as if you could come anytime, am I right? haha..." my mind was getting mad. 

He stuttered, "S-still.." he pushed deeper inside me. "I.. ahhh.. wanted you to know that if you said stop, I would stop.." he moaned.  _Oh, really..? Would you? Ha.. good joke. Haven't I said 'stop' fucking hundreds of times already?_  I felt puzzled. He could be a bit right about me not being honest with myself after all; having feelings for Nagito, wasn't a thing that I would admit easily, even if I was completely sure of them.

"O-oh.. Hajime, it feels so good inside you.." he started rocking his hips against mine.

I wasn't sure, if I was in heaven or hell, but it felt so fucking good. He was hitting that spot inside me over and over and over again. At some point it just drove me crazy.

I wrapped my hands around his back pulling him closer to me and kissing him without further hesitation. I could feel that this action surprised him a bit, because he tensed up. "Y-you.. you are as into it as me.." he stated. I opened my eyes and saw his strongly blushed face.

I pouted, "Hhnnnggn.. m-maybe, who knows... Th-that doesn't matter now though. I-I'm coming, please.." I sobbed. "Could.. hah... could you move faster..?" I begged him with my half-lidded eyes.

"H-Haji-" he bit his lip and gave me what I was begging for and soon he came inside me filling me up. My eyes opened widely, his cum was just too hot. Shortly after I came too, spilling my seed over my stomach and him.

He fell on me and so we slowly came down from our high.

 

He huffed heavily and pulled out of me. We both were pretty sweaty, Nagito still was panting. He rolled off from me and wiped my tears away, "H-hey.. are you feeling fine?" he looked at me with concern, I didn't have enough guts to look directly into his eyes.

"I guess.." I blushed and turned to him.

He kissed my forehead, "We should take a shower.." he smiled warmly. "I mean.. you would hate me, if you saw what did I do to you." he shuddered, "b-but I love the way you look, don't get me wrong!" he added sheepishly, "It's just so.. arousing. You look... as if you were mine." he brushed my hair, his smile seemed somewhat sad.  _He said 'as if', huh? So he isn't that stupid after all... then why do I feel that weird pain in my chest? I don't understand._

"I.. uhh." I pondered for a moment, "You're right, shower would be nice.." I sighed and sat up. I wanted to stood up, but then I felt a strong pain radiating from my hips. "Y-you know what? I'm fine. I don't need it that much anymore." I laughed nervously and laid down once again, "Go shower first or something.. I'll shower later, fine?" I tried to convince him.

"Hajime. Don't lie to me.." he sighed with disappointment. "You know that it's no use, right?" he whispered softly into my ear, his voice was something between teasing and concerned.

"I said that I'm fine.. let me sleep, Naigto. I am just tired!" I whined into his pillow.  
"Hmmm..." he stood up from the bed and placed his one hand under my head and the other one under my knees.

"What are you doing..." I frowned, my lips pursed.

"Don't be so shocked..." he lifted me up from the bed and start heading ahead. "I just.. thought that I can help you a bit, you know?" he smiled soothingly. "I'm sorry if I was too.. rough with you. I didn't mean to hurt you." he bit his lip painfully and made those sad eyes.

I looked up at him, "Hey, hey.. it's fine, okay? I'm fine, okay?" I patted his shoulder kindly, "I mean, I... felt good too. Kind of. So don't make those eyes.." I didn't feel just kind of good, but he didn't need to know that.

He sniffled, "H-Hajime.. you're so kind. I mean.. I totally forced my way into you and you still treat me well. You show so much kindness to a pest like me..!" I sighed and brushed his white locks away from his face, "Listen. You didn't force your way into me, alright?" I rested my head on his chest, I was very tired.

Suddenly he stopped walking and stood before the bathroom, "H-huh?!" he almost dropped me on the floor, but it luckily didn't happen in the end.

"H-hey, watch out..! You've almost dropped me down.." I let out a shaky, scared breath. "I shouldn't let you to carry me... heh. Funnily I didn't agree to it, did I?" I sulked.

Nagito was silent for a bit too long, I scratched my head awkwardly. "Nagito..?" my voice was hesitant, since his behaviour seemed off to me. "Did I say something wrong..?" I tilted my head.

He shook his head. "I-I'm sorry.." he looked away from me, his cheeks were tinted with pink. "N-no.. you didn't say anything wrong, just the opposite." he smiled in a weird way, he seemed mesmerised and surprised. "Y-y.. you said.. th-that.. I..." he started looking on sides, totally avoiding my gaze.

I frowned, "Spit it out, jeez.." I released myself from his hands and went ahead to the bathroom, I was doing my best to not show him that I was in pain.

"I... didn't force my way into you..?" he smiled sheepishly, he seemed afraid and not sure if I said that in the first place. That he just simply misheard me or something like this.

My whole face turned red after a few seconds. This and my desire to get quickly into the shower resulted with me bumping with my face directly into the glass of the shower cabin. My face looked now as if someone hit it with a pan. My frustration and pain made me feel fed up of everything. I groaned loudly and closed the door right before Komaeda's nose. I could hear his light sob, "Ha.. Hajime? I thought we would wash together..." meanwhile I washed my face and shook my head to get a grip.

I said into the door's direction, while locking it, "Hell no, Nagito. I want some private space, alright? Thank you for carrying me all the way here and everything.. and if you excuse me, I'll use your shower..." he gasped pleadingly. I added firmly, "Alone." I sighed.

"B-but what if you faint or slip on the wet water..? I mean.. you don't seem fine..." his voice seemed concerned. Still, I felt annoyed.

My eyebrows twitched. "Nothing bad will happen, I am totally fine." I hissed, got into the cabin and turned the water on.

It was probably, because of the words that I blurted out unconsciously a while ago that I felt so mad and lost. I wasn't really mad at him to be honest, but rather at myself for letting such words to leave my lips. Even a guy like him could connect some dots.

It was like if... I gave him the final puzzle piece and the picture was completed. Now everything should be plainly clear to him and what's more, I couldn't keep denying the truth anymore.

The truth that wasn't completly clear to me either till that very moment.

I clenched my fist and hit it against the wall. This all was making me feel uneasy and afraid. "I fell for him... I-I think." my eyes opened widely as I realized what had I said. I shook my head energetically, "No.. it can't be the case, can it..?" I laughed distressed. Despite that the more I thought about it the more possible it seemed to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay  
> ...  
> I know, this was a rather weird chapter, wasn't it? :'3 I feel that I just can't write smut. I hope that it was at least a bit readable tho ;; <3 Anyway. I plan to start a new fic. (I know, I know, I haven't finish any of my fics yet, but.. I want to start something fresh and new, bc I feel like it..) I consider writing oumasai fic (I played v3 and I LOVE and ADORE Ouma and Saihara dhddhshsdjsjdh) or kamukoma one.. I don't know which one yet, but if you want to help me to decide feel free to do it by writing in the comments below what would you rather enjoy reading, it'd help me a lot! And if you like this story or/and my other stories, don't worry I won't abandon them!


	10. Chapter 10

Showering took me way longer than I had expected, since I found a sleeping Nagito on the couch. He was still wearing only his underwear. I approached him quietly; he looked really peaceful and delicate. Waking him up seemed like a sin, so in the end I just sat next to him softly, even overmuch careful to not wake him up with any of my movements.

Although firstly I had no desire to wake him up, I funnily found myself desperately holding back from doing it a while later. I often was reaching my hand towards his shoulders to give him a slight, friendly shake, but his peaceful expression was stopping my every attempt.

As soon as I realized that he wasn't going to wake up soon, I quickly became bored of sitting and doing literally nothing, so my eyes started seeking for anything that could entertain me at least a slight bit. I eventually noticed a small scrap of paper and a pen. Feeling that it's my only way of stopping my incoming death out of boredom, I grabbed them and stared scribbling something. I didn't plan to draw him, but I didn't see anything nicer to draw around. I could technically try drawing out of my imagination, but it was out of the question; my imagination was literally shit.

I was drawing through an hour or so, because it was surprisingly pretty enjoyable, plainly relaxing and.. somehow I felt excited to draw him half naked.

Despite that it felt a bit wrong.

Honestly, I hoped he wouldn't find out that I was sketching him, especially since I wasn't really nailing the drawing.

As soon as I finished my 'masterpiece' I sighed. It looked really bad, it didn't surprise me though. Everything I did was turning into a disaster or just looked plain or bad, as expected from a talentless human being like me. I was about to destroy my work, when suddenly Nagito murmured something with a sleepy voice, "Ha.. Hajime..." he yawned and lifted his hand up sliding in down my cheek. "What time is it..? I'm terribly sorry for falling asleep and causing you a problem." he smiled sheepishly. "You could've just wake me up.."

"It's.. around 1am, so don't be sorry for falling asleep, okay? It's totally fine.." I comforted him by patting his hair.

"If you say so.." he smiled and placed his head onto my lap. Shivers went down my spine as he did that. "Would it be fine with you, if I laid like this for a while? I mean.. who am I to use your lap as a pillow, I don't deserve such an honour. Especially not after what I did to you.. even though you said that it was fine, I still feel that I-I.. took advantage of you. I am a filthy criminalist, a stalker that has no right to be next to you, a piece of trash that should keep its distance from you in order to not dirty you with its impure desires and-" I pinched his cheek.

"Damn, Nagito.. you talk WAY too much, just shut up and keep sleeping, okay?" I chuckled and rested my head on the couch looking up at the ceiling.

He nodded silently. After a minute or two I started drifting away. I would fall asleep, if Nagito didn't hum softly bringing me back to my senses.

"Awwww, this is so cute, Hajime!" I quickly opened my eyes.  _Cute? What's cute?_  I slapped my cheeks softly in order to keep myself awake and conscious. I looked down at Nagito, he was holding the piece of paper on which I had been scribbling before. "I-I didn't know that you can draw so well.. I feel honored that you drew someone like me..! And oh.. you were so detailed.. you even included m-my..." he coughed, "nipples and my underwear.. I feel kind of embarrassed, but it looks really well.. ahh.." he blushed and avoided looking at me, "Hajime.. can I keep your drawing?" he hid behind the paper.

My face heated up, and heart started beating louder, "U-ughh.. I didn't want you to see it. I was bored and you looked so beautiful in your sleep, so I kind of.. just drew you. But don't say that it looks great, please. Believe me, you look way more beautiful in real life, my drawing is barely showing off how pretty you-" I bit my tongue, feeling that I slowly was losing control over my feelings and the things I was saying. "S-shit...." I laughed nervously. "It's late, okay? I'm just telling nonsense. Ignore what I said.." I played with my hair awkwardly like a sulking kid would.

"Oh yes. You are indeed saying nonsense!" he grinned.

"Huh? Well.. yeah..." I stopped playing with my hair, his words confused me. I wasn't really expecting him to agree with me.

"Like... pfft. Pretty? Beautiful? Who exactly..?" he tilted his head and laughed cheerfully. "I think Hajime's being delusional~" he seemed to be honest about his words.

"Delusional..? What the fuck, Nagito. I was being honest, I meant that. You are beautiful." I said it a bit more rough than I originally intended to.

He ignored my statement as if I had never said anything in the first place. "You're so adorable.. I can't stop feeling that I'm doing something wrong, while trying to save you only for myself..." he placed the drawing on the table, sat up and hid his face in his hands. He seemed really depressed all of sudden.

"W-what do you mean..?" I frowned deeply.

His quiet psychedelic laugh filled the room. "You know exactly what I mean, Hajime. I'm doing my best to make you fall in love with me and it seems that I am succeeding, but... in the end what am I even doing?" his face darkened. "Kissing you forcefully, stalking you, locking you up in my house, stealing your stuff.. I even went further than that and raped you." I tensed up at hearing him saying something about rape. It just felt wrong to call it 'rape'. I didn't think of it like that even for a second, so it was making me feel bad that he was addressing it that way.

"Why have I done all of it to someone that I love so much.. I should've just let you live your life in your own pace.. because so far I am doing nothing more than being forceful with you, am I not? You deserve so much more.. only because you were there for me, when I needed someone else's warmness, doesn't mean that I have the right to manipulate your feelings.. I'm such a trash, garbage, pest.." he looked at me with blank eyes. Blank, dark eyes filled with uncertainty, fear and loneliness.

"..it is not the case. Stop saying such things. Please." I bit my lip painfully and frowned even more, while trying to think of some right words to say. Seeing him like this was heartbreaking and I knew it was mainly my fault. I put him into such state and I was feeling responsible for it.

"I am sorry.. haha.. I should've just shut up. I'm really sorry for troubling you with my words. I didn't mean to make you mad. I won't say anything, I swear-" I pushed Nagito down and kissed him roughly.

"You're  _not_  troubling me.. so don't apologize me." I looked closely into his frightened, somewhat surprised eyes. Our faces were just a few inches away from each other. "I.. I feel bad. If one of us is doing something wrong, than it's  _me_  not you." I looked away from him focusing on a bookshelf in order to not lose control over the way I was delivering my feelings to him.

He looked confused, "No, no! Hajime, don't pity me! I am sure that you're not doing-" I looked deeply into Nagito's eyes, the way I gazed into his eyes was expressing way more than my words.

At least I thought so.

"Hajime.." he placed his hand on the back of my head and pulled me down softly making me fall onto his chest. "Shhh.. it's fine. You don't need to say anything." he wrapped his hands around my back, it felt nice and warm to be held in his embrace.

"I-I know.. but still." I swallowed down, trying to gather up some courage. "I thought that I would keep it as a secret, but now.. I really don't want to keep deceiving you. I need to be honest. With my own self and you.."

Komaeda gave me a questioning look.

My face flushed heavily.  _Oh. He doesn't know what I'm about to say. I thought he knew.... it'd be way easier, if he did._

"O-okay.." I lifted up and kept straddling him. I sat down on his abdomen my eyes flickered to his soft hair. "You see... I.. don't hate you." I scratched my cheek. "S-shit, it isn't enough.. is it?" my heart wasn't helping me to calm down. "I.... like you? Wait.. I am not asking you, if I like you!" I slapped my cheeks. "I.. like you. You're... kind of special to me." I tilted my head. "Not just 'kind of'.. how should I put it, ehhh.. that's harder than I thought haha." I felt a bit flummoxed, my smile twitched a bit. "You are.. important. Yes.. I care about you.. and don't want to see you depressed or sad like.. well now." I inspected his face with my eyes.

"I'm not really sure what you're getting at.. Hajime." he looked serious and puzzled.

"...really? H-how come?" I hid my face behind my hands, my heart stopped beating for a short moment. "Weren't you the one that kept insisting that I.. well.. love you, but I'm just not realizing it...?" if you looked on my face, you'd see plain confusion painted on it.

"Indeed.. but... I wasn't really thinking so. Well... I need to say that I was at the beginning. There were some signs that could be interpreted as sings of you developing a certain feeling toward me, but.. I doubt you've ever loved me." he shook his head lightly, "I am sure it's not the case. I've always felt that our feelings weren't mutual." his eyes were.. empty. Soulless. He was smiling though which was terrifying and somehow sad. He looked as if he was about to cry, but no tears were falling down from the grey-green depths of his round, beautifully shaped eyes.

 _I'm not in love with him..? Our feelings are not mutual? What.. Is it.. really true?_  I clenched my shirt firmly, my heart hurt. I felt hurt.  _If he is right, then why am I feeling this way?_  I took a deep breath and said with certitude, "No.. that's wrong. You're wrong, Nagito. You're completely mistaken." although my voice was calm, my whole body was trembling.

"Wrong?" he smirked in a rather insane way. "I-it seems that you suffer from a Stockholm syndrome.. hahaha! Truly exci-" I didn't let him to finish his sentence.

"Stockholm what..? I have no idea what you're talking about.. anyway. I think you're tired. Very tired. I think we are both tired actually... and this conversation became pretty weird, don't you think? I mean.. I'm pretty much trying to confess and you're not believing me, haha.. that's so weird. I imagined it differently." I sighed. "I thought you'd be happy.." suddenly Nagito calmed down.

"Confess.. y-you... so you really were trying to confess to me?" he was saying those words slowly and carefully as if he wasn't sure of their meaning. He blinked a few times. He seemed happier than before, but there was still a hint of something unreadable in his eyes.

"I dunno.. maybe." I shrugged. "I don't want to talk about it now.. not after you told me that I had never loved you." I scowled at him. I was mad at him that he questioned my feelings, before I had a chance to even confess them properly.

"I am sorry, forgive me... " silence followed his words, every second of the silence was hurtful for me.

"Fine, just forget about everything." I clenched my teeth trying to stop my anger. "I don't love you, I don't even like you.." I started blurting out some really bad lies. "I-I.. hate you. I hate you so much! You were annoying me from the very beginning.... I didn't enjoy being with you. Seeing your smile.. kissing with you... h-hugging, sleeping together. Because why would I?" I stood up from the couch.

"Oh.. I am.. sorry." my words seemed to only make the situation worse. "H-hey.. I didn't mean any of these, Nagito.." he remained silent, "m-maybe I'll go already... it seems that you need some time alone, right?" I smiled sadly. "Good b- uhh, Nagito..." he grabbed me by my shirt. "I thought you didn't want to talk..." I threw him a confused expression.

"I want..! D-don't leave me, I beg you.. Hajime." he said with raspy voice and made me sat on the couch once again, his arm wrapped around my waist; I felt a bit uncomfortable so I laid down with him eventually. "I'm sorry for everything. Don't hate me.. please. I really do love you, I need you.." his voice seemed warmer than before. "I just... had a nightmare, when you were showering." his hands held me tighter all of sudden. "And.."

"A... nightmare?" I asked hesitantly not finding any connection between it and him rejecting me.

"Yes, a nightmare. Firstly I didn't give it much thought though." he played with my hair a bit, his legs started wrapping a bit around mine, I felt like his pillow. It wasn't a bad feeling, but the blood was rushing to my cheeks whenever he moved a bit. The closeness between us was intimidating.

"W-was it.. scary?" I asked carefully with a bit of concern.

He kissed my neck. "Y-yeah.. in my dream we had a similar conversation like now.. you told me that you liked me, we became a couple, started dating and so on... but you were scared of me. All the time. Whenever I wanted to touch you, you were trying to avoid it. Eventually..." his voice cracked.

"Eventually?" I repeated.

"You... started secretly meeting with someone else. That person was telling you that our relationship is unhealthy and that I'm a psychopath which should be reported, because my existence is a danger for others and--" I turned to face him and hugged him closely. "H-Hajime, huh..?" I caught him off guard. We had been just hugging for a while, before I spoke.

"I.. like you the way you are to be honest. I think your behaviour is quite charming in its own way, even though I not always can stand it.." I laughed quietly. "Nagito? Can I say something?" his cheeks turned pink.

"O-of course, Hajime!!" he answered straight away with sparkling eyes.

"You were right.. back then. I-I.. love you too." his eyes widened. He wanted to say something. "I'm not scared of you.. you can keep being yourself, I accept you. Most of you at least... I'm not fine with you stalking me on everyday basics and stealing my stuff, but I don't really hate it so- mmhhhhm!!" he kissed me deeply all of sudden. The kiss was long and passionate, he backed off from me after a minute or so.

"Ha.. H-Hajime... do you want to be my boyfriend then? Can I monopolize you?" he huffed out a question.

"Hmmm.. I will think about it.." I stuck out my tongue and regretted this gesture when he slicked his tongue inside my mouth tangling it with mine. I moaned against his mouth.

"W-well.. I don't know why have I even asked you about this matter. You were already mine the moment I took your virginity, hehe~" I hit him on the back erasing the smirk from his face. "Ouch.."

"Idiot.." I blushed. "I love you, but I won't ever be your boyfriend.." I pouted. "You might've taken my virginity, but it doesn't make me yours. You won't have me." a teasing smile showed up on my face, while blush started slowly fading away from my cheeks. He seemed to already feel better which made me feel relieved and happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt really inspired, so I wrote the next chapter sooner this time. I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I really want to write more, so you can expect the next chapter soon (in the span of two weeks from now <3). Thank you for all the comments under the last chapter! It'd make me happy, if you commented here as well >////< Don't feel forced tho. I just really love reading your opinions, they mean a lot to me!


	11. Chapter 11

"Nagito.. could you take a shower? Hugging with you doesn't feel very nice, when you're so sticky and sweaty." I smirked widely.

"O-oh... I am terribly sorry! How rude of me... I beg you for forgiveness. Hugging Hajime, while being covered in my and his fluids, how unrespectable. I'll get a shower straight away! Don't hate me, please.." I let him to stand up and observed carefully as he was brushing the hair away from his face.

"I was just teasing you a bit..." I blinked a few times in surprise and pursed my lips, "you don't need to apologize me for each and every-" he leaned forward kissing my forehead.

"I know. I just teased you back, dear. You need to start getting used to my teasing from now on. I won't go easier on you just because you're my boyfriend, understood?~" I needed to admit that smirk suited well to him, it was suiting him the most. And anyway, I loved being handled that way, I wouldn't let him know it easily, though.

"M-My ass!" I blushed slightly. "Who's your boyfriend? Because it isn't me as far as I'm concerned." the slight tint on my cheeks faded away. I smiled teasingly and turned on my back, occupying all the available space on the couch.

After a while I added, "Get that shower, baby. I'm waiting..~" I said it only because I wanted to see what kind of face would he make, if I called him like that. His cheeks flushed brightly, he surely wasn't expecting such words from me.

"U-ughh.. if you keep seducing me like this, you'll need another shower sooner than you think, Hajime." he giggled and lifted my chin up. His lips barely brushed against mine.

"J-just go already.." the blush reappeared on my tanned cheeks. He made me go back with my thoughts to our first time and it was clearly visible on my face. He licked his lips and kissed me softly.

"Fine, fine.. you can go to my bed first, if you want that is." he patted my hair. "Because... you are staying here for the night, right..?" he asked me hesitantly.

"Yeah.. I guess I am." I shrugged and smiled warmly at him.

He smiled back and I swear that his eyes were glossy from the incoming tears. "I'm glad then." he said and headed to the bathroom.

After he'd left the room, I yawned and went to his bedroom. I looked at the bed with aftertaste of embarrassment; it was in such a mess. I sighed and changed the sheets swiftly. I undressed myself, keeping only my briefs on. I quickly got under the sheets and hummed happily enjoying the feeling of being enveloped with the fresh new, warm sheets.

Soon I fell asleep. After what had felt like just a minute, Nagito joined me. I cuddled up to him and let myself to drift away.

 

**Komaeda's POV**

Soft morning sunrays were pouring into the bedroom and after some time they woke me up. I yawned and looked at the adorable brunette next to me, "Good morning, Hajime~" I kissed him tenderly on his lips, but he didn't react anyhow, so I concluded that he hadn't waken up yet. "I wish you could see how sweet you look, when you're asleep.." I wiped away a trickle of saliva that was running down from his soft, parted lips.

"Hmmm..." I reached down with my hand on the floor and grabbed my phone. "I can't waste such a beautiful view, can I?" I giggled quietly and took a photo.

I was really proud of it. I managed to take it from a very good angle, and Hinata looked just gorgeous on it (not that he didn't look gorgeous every day); he was hugging the sheets tightly, you could see some of his exposed chest which seemed as if it was shining, gleaming.. the view was just perfect. His dark hair was a bit messy, but it only added him more charm. He looked way younger on the photo as well.. as if he was still attending high school.

"Mhm.. I want to print is as soon as possible and put in to  _the album_ , hehehe.." I smiled widely, while admiring the photo. Since I had a very good camera in my phone, the quality was almost perfect. I could zoom in and see some very interesting details, like for example a small freckle on his neck or small bumps on his chest. He'd for sure call me a pervert, if he saw me drooling, while looking at his photo.

Hinata suddenly opened his eyes widely, "Print? Album..?" he yawned and stretched his arms above his head. "What are you talking about?" he closed his eyes once again.

"Oh no." I quivered in awe. "O-oh.. I.. ehhh.. don't own any album, y-you have simply misheard me..? h-hehe.. he." I laughed nervously, stuttering, while turning off the display to hide the evidence of me taking him a photo just a minute ago.

"...don't tell me. Were you perhaps taking me photos secretly..?" he frowned deeply, a drop of sweat rolled down his forehead. His expression softened soon though, "Naww, even you wouldn't do that, would you?" he seemed sure about it.

"W-well... I.. hnnhgn... I may have.. an album." I felt that I couldn't lie to him. "Only one and it's nothing you'd be interested in, I swear!" my eyes flickered down, "I might've taken you a f-few photos and added them to my.. uhm.. c-collection.. I just couldn't hold back! I'm so sorry!" I stuttered and pouted, "But it's your fault for being so irrationally cute..." I didn't tell him about it before, because I was afraid that he would get mad or take the treasure away from me. Or both.

"Heh.. interesting." he smiled suspiciously and sat up. He supported his back on the bedpost, while scowling at me. "Can I see it..?" his expression was puzzled and sent a chill down my spine; he surely didn't seem happy about me collecting his photos in secret, but he didn't seem furious either.

"N-no.. I won't show it to you!" I shouted loudly and looked at him with determination.

"Why?" he tilted his head. "Have you taken me some  _dirty_  photos...?" he laughed unsurely, though I felt that he said it more like a joke.

"Define dirty." I looked at him blankly.

"Oh-okay... show me that album. Now. Nagito. Don't play dumb." it seemed that I crossed some border which shouldn't be crossed. How unfortunate.

A vein popped up on his forehead and looked as if it could blow up anytime. I totally overdid everything and I felt a bit bad for it.

"..." I blushed in embarrassment, stood up and opened a drawer of my desk taking out a quite huge album out of it. "H-here it is.. please don't hate me...." I sobbed, while handing him it, my hands trembling.

He sighed and opened it not without hesitation. He was turning the pages painfully slow. I didn't see what photos he was looking at, but I could guess. Sometimes he was blushing, sometimes smiling a bit, but the other times.. he was frowning and didn't seem pleased with what he was seeing.

Suddenly he stopped and told me to look at something. "This photo. Right here..." he pointed me on a picture with his beautiful bare ass exposed on it; he was taking a shower, some fog was blocking the view. I loved this one the most honestly, it was a well-taken photo for a trash like me. "Y-yes..?" I gulped nervously and closed my eyes expecting him to slap or hurt me, but he surprisingly didn't do it.

"Don't dare to ever make such photos again." he said firmly, closed the album and murmured afterwards, "..I don't even know how you were able to make such a photo without me noticing you in the first place...."

I felt a bit hurt by his harsh tone of voice, but I nodded in agreement. He had all the right in the world to feel mad at me, I deserved it. "O-of course, Hinata-kun. Forgive me.. p-please." I bowed before him.

"Good." his voice seemed softer, although he still seemed to be on the edge of getting furious. "If it wasn't me, you'd be put into jail for making such photos, do you understand?" he raised one eyebrow.

I nodded in repentance once again, "I-I do.." I said obediently. At that exact moment I felt the need to make him regret treating me like a dog which needed to be scolded and trained. I wanted to see him under me begging and whimpering for forgiveness. It should be the other way around. And maybe he could even call me a master.... not because I thought I was the one right, but rather because it all would be pretty hot and exciting.

Yup, it was just another of my fantasies about Hajime.

He was silent for a while and then he looked at the album once again. "I need to admit something though.." he put a finger on his chin. "It's a good photo. N-not good in the way you think!!" he blushed.  _Oh my God, so so so cute, I want to see flustered Hajime more~_ my eyes sparkled."It's bad to make such photos without a clear agreement of the person aka the model... very bad." he killed me with his stare. "I need to say that you have some fine photography skills despite it all.. I look quite handsome on your photos, although normally I look pretty plain..." he laughed a bit. Sadness of his voice made my heart to ache. "Don't you even dare to think that I will say that you did a good job though." he ended coldly, but soon a small pout showed up on his face and I was barely holding back from saying 'awwwww'.

"Understandable. I feel honored that Hinata-kun appreciates my humble skills." I smiled warmly at him with some anxiety still hiding in the back of my head. I felt too guilty to look him into his sincere eyes. Yeah, despite all of my fantasies, I still felt guilty. Who wouldn't?

"Idiot." he handed me the album.

"H-huh?" I tensed up.

"Stop calling me 'Hinata-kun', it feels weird after all we've been through. I am mad, but it doesn't mean that I hate you now, okay?" he sighed, stood up and patted my hair a bit. "You can keep the album as well, Na-" I grabbed his both hands firmly.

"Thank you so much!!" I sniffled, tears gathered up in my eyes. "H-how kind of you.. Hajime." he smiled weakly at me, I couldn't trace any hint of anger on his face anymore which made me feel relived.

"However you can't take me any more photos without my permission." he added firmly accenting that I don't have any word here.

"B-but...." he gave me a cold stare once again. "F-fine.. I understand. You should know that it's a huge waste to not take you photos in your sleep and so on..." I played with my white locks, while looking away from him, fearing to see his reaction.

"No means no." he was very strict and didn't let me to convince himself. 

"But..." he blushed a bit. 

"B-but..?" my hopes went up as quick as they had gone down before. I clenched my fists, my eyes were sparkling and anticipating his words.

"H-how about us taking a photo together, hmm?" he asked shyly. His cheeks turned pink, his voice cracked a bit when he was asking me it. I really wanted to held this adorable creature, that was standing right before my very eyes, close to my chest.

"M-me and you...? Are you sure about that?" I blushed heavily and blinked in visible surprise.

"Yeah... let's take it before I change my mind." he stuck his tongue out and then giggled a bit. "Where will we take it though... hmmm.. we can't here. The scenery isn't good enough." he pondered.

"Maybe we could take it somewhere outside." I asked after a while. "Like for example in a place where you can see the panorama of our town." I inspected his face closely trying to not miss his reaction.

"Wouldn't it seem.. as if you know. We were on a date or something..?" he was frowning and trying to get rid of the blush. But it wasn't fading away no matter what (luckily for me).

"A date, huh..?" I smirked and pondered for a moment. I lifted his hand up and kissed it tenderly. "Would you like to go on a date with me then, Hajime?" I used this occasion to ask him out. I had always dreamt about going on a date with him. I was scared of getting rejected though. But I'd regret, if I wasted this perfect occasion that he had given me.

I was expecting him to laugh me off, so for a short moment I couldn't believe that the took his time to really think about it. 

"I.." he looked down. "Yeah, I guess... b-but now?" he looked on the sides nervously.

"Now." I smirked widely and got closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer to me. "Are you up to it?" I tried to make sure.

He nodded and connected our lips, "Yeah." he smiled happily closing his eyes.

"Can I..." I started and Hinata tilted his head. "Can you.. what?" he asked suspiciously with a hint of surprise, his eyebrows furrowed deeply.

I chuckled a bit, "Don't be so tensed up.." I pressed my finger against the wrinkling skin between his eyebrows, his expression soon softened. "Can I dress you up..? I have some clothes in my wardrobe that would suit you well. You look beautiful no matter what, but I'm sure that I can help you to choose some fine clothing.. you will look splendid, I promise!" I looked at him with the eyes of excited kid.

I sighed, "I sense some trap here.. but well... okay, I guess." he smiled weakly and looked straight into my eyes trying to trace, if I had the eyes of someone who was planning something mischievous or improper. His concern was unneeded though. I wasn't planning on forcing him to wear anything lewd or so, at least not yet. And anyway. It wouldn't be a good idea; only I should be able to see him wearing some hot outfits, I would not show the rest of the world how beautiful body he hides under his clothes. "Hehe.. yay~" I grabbed his hand. "You won't regret it." I assured him with a big grin.

"Hopefully...." he laughed and smiled unsurely. "What do you want me to wear?" he looked at me with curious eyes.

"What about.. a kimono?" I said after some pondering.

"A.. kimono?" he spelled the word carefully. I assured him with a quick nod and proceed to explain my idea to him. "Yeah.. today's evening a hanabi festival is going to be held in my neighbourhood. I know it's a pretty sudden proposition and that it's not really that exciting to go there with me... I mean why would you enjoy being there with a person.. like well. Me..? Hehe." I scratched my cheek awkwardly.

He sighed, "I'd love to go there with you." his voice was low and resembled a purr. "So don't make this kind of a face, alright?" he patted my head sweetly which really comforted me.

"Mhm.. I have only one kimono though." Hinata stopped caressing my hair suddenly.

"So... you want only me to wear it..? That's unfair..." he sighed feeling somewhat deceived by me.

"I could be the one wearing it.. b-but.." I blushed sheepishly. "I've always wanted you to wear it. I couldn't stop myself from imagining what kind of makeup would you wear with it, how kimono's colours would look in comparison to your dark spiky hair and slightly tanned skin.. how it would feel to tease you by sliding my hand sneakily under it, when you wouldn't pay attention to me and- ahhhh~" I hugged myself in bliss.

He shivered and said with an aftertaste of disgust, "Pervert." he threw at me a cold yet flustered expression. He was silent for a while and then suddenly flinched, "M-makeup.. what?! I don't need any.. are you fucking serious..?" he blushed in embarrassment. "Boys don't need such things..."

"Awww, don't be so.." I pouted. "It'll be just some basic, simple one. It's not like males don't do makeup. Let's take actors and models for instance. And anyways.. a bit of makeup has never killed anyone.." I tried to convince him with some honeyed words.

I handed him the kimono and smiled happily. He took it reluctantly, his smile was rather nervous and he didn't seem exactly pleased with me asking him to wear it. "You will look gorgeous, believe me." I said with certainty and waved him off on his way to the bathroom. He had groaned a bit, before he left me behind.

 

Those ten minutes of waiting for him to go back to me were the longest ones in my life. I was just really excited to see how he was going look in the kimono. I was basically sitting on the couch with my chin supported on my hands and smiling creepily, while anticipating him. My leg was stamping nervously as if I was a fiancé  waiting to see his wife in a wedding dress for the very first time. I might've been feeling overly excited, but I couldn't help it; he was going to wear something I had chosen for him after all.  

My leg stopped the motion as soon as I heard him. "Na.. Nagito..?" a hesitant voice came out of the bathroom. He seemed to be unsure about something, maybe even ashamed to some point. 

I sprang up from the couch. "Y-yes?" if I was an anime character blood would be running down from my nose, I was just so worked up. 

"Could you.. erm.. help me a bit? I can't tie that obi thing..." his voice seemed cutely embarrassed and frustrated. I chuckled. 

"With pleasure~" I approached the door, my hands were shaking from excitement. Only a bit though as I was rather good at hiding my overflowing emotions.  _To think that my love dressed up for me.. heheh... hehe.. I'm so lucky!_  I opened the door and saw Hajime wearing the clothing and struggling to tie up the previously mentioned obi. "Ha.. Hajime." blood ran down from my nose. It seemed that it could happen in the real life too surprisingly. I had wiped the blood away, before he could even notice it.

He frowned, a blush was visible on his cheeks. "W-what.. do I look that bad..?" he said, while pursing his lips and giving me a questioning look.

"N-no! Just the opposite! You look so.. gorgeous. I-I.. can't believe that what I see isn't just another dream of mine. Hajime, it suits you way better than me!" I closed the distance between us and traced my hands down his abs making him shiver. "Don't make fun of me.." he sighed. "I really don't look that good-"

"H-Hajime.." I repeated his name mesmerized by how glorious he looked in the simple clothing and shocked that he thought otherwise. "You look so good that you're making me want to take you to my bed and fuck you until my strength will leave me." I said completely serious and honestly thought hearing it would make him accept my compliment. His face became all red, with a slight crimson tinge to it, probably because he was plainly taken-aback by my words but mostly because he was just mad at me.

"You're the worst..." he scowled at me, while his blush quickly faded away. "Can't you just pretend to be a bit romantic and normal from time to time? Is it that hard...?" his facial expression was showing clear disappointment.

"Do you hate me now?" I tilted my head while taking the obi from him and helping him to tie it up around his slim waist. "I'd hate me too, if I were you.." I let out a muffled chuckle since I've already hated myself, so it wouldn't change a thing. I finished tying up the thing and sank my hand into his hair breathing in its unusual scent, which I loved more than any other existing scent. 

Since I was done with the obi I took a makeup set, that was laying abandoned on the floor as I hadn't been using it lately, and asked with my eyes for a permission to use the cosmetics. He gave me it by nodding. "But still.. you're bearing everything. You're putting up with someone like me." I continued.

He flinched at my words. I could feel it as my hands were still in a contact with his gorgeous body. "You know very well that I don't hate you. I'm just.. a bit disappointed right now." he sighed (he tended to sigh a lot), meanwhile I took out a cream out of the set and started putting it carefully on his face enjoying massaging it and the fact that our faces were practically just a few inches away from each other. God I was so glad that I used to be interested in makeup once and still had that set in my bathroom. 

"Oh, really?" my voice came off as innocent. I took a mascara and put it on his long lashes adding them even more length. He surely was not happy that I forced him to all that makeup facade but I was sure I would please him with the effect. "I think you're secretly enjoying me being a bold pervert." I sneered. My assumptions were totally right, I could see it. Hajime was a sincere guy after all. Even when he tried to lie the effects were usually pretty poor. I loved that about him; teasing him was addicting. 

He wanted to say something but I placed a finger on his parted lips "Shhh.. wait." and placed my hand firmly under his chin in order to put some lipstick on his lips, making them look even more soft and kissable. The colour was subtle and just perfect for him. I looked proudly at my job, blushing because he looked ideal. Like an actor who could play a rule of a beautiful ghost or a god. His beauty was something heavenly.  

I took him by a hand and started dragging him behind me, softly though as I always try to treat him gently with affetion. "You're fine to go now, right?" I smiled in a very clear excitement.

"Go where? To your bed..?" he smirked.

I stopped walking. "..well. You surely are good at tempting me. If you want it so bad, we can go there here and now. Because you know very well that I would love to, right?~" I faced him and not wasting time enveloped his body with my arms holding tight onto his waist.

I looked deep into his eyes. I had been wondering since always what colour they had. Yellow? Green? Maybe a mix? Probably olive.. I loved them exactly because of their incomparable look.

"But... I am patient. Don't worry though. I won't let the chance to fuck you in this outfit out of my hands so easily.. but for now, let's just enjoy our romantic date, fine?" my expression was once again purely innocent. I didn't see anything bad in what I said after all. Despite the fact that I didn't, he obviously did, because he made that kind of face once again. As if there was something wrong with me... maybe there was. Who knows? As long as he accepted me I didn't feel the need to change myself in any way... 

And.. of course, I knew that he wanted me as much as I wanted him and it was making me feel butterflies in my stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you had fun reading it! Btw I think I wrote so much in Ko's POV (in this ff) for the very first time.. I hope it was a nice change for you! Have a nice day <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Christmas is over, I know- but I still wrote something to celebrate it :3 It's a bonus, an alternate universe of this story; it's not connected with the latest events, we can say it takes place after 4 chapter (probably) and it's like.. a what if story. So.. it's like.. "What if Christmas were taking place after the events from 4 chapter" XD Does it sound confusing? I hope it doesn't ;w; (sorry for not updating for a longer while btw- I truly am sorry ><)

**~ Christmas bonus ~**

 I woke up with a little headache.. I wondered if it was because I had been worrying with what my stalker would come up for this Christmas; I could expect literally everything. Being tied up with a red ribbon in my sleep, waking up in a huge present box with a little tag 'for Komaeda~' and put underneath a Christmas tree or even being forced to wear some sexy Christmas women underwear, because of letting my guard down, when he would give me something which looked like a candy, but actually it'd be a drug and-     

I groaned. _How the fuck I came up with those crazy ideas.. ughh... even he wouldn't go that far, would he?_ I laughed from myself. I brushed my teeth as always, fixed my hair, dressed up, ate a usual for me breakfast (eggs with bacon, small toast and a glass of orange juice), went to the living room, saw a small piece of paper, probably a gift card or something.. laid down on a couch because I started feeling sleepy...

"Huh. What the-" I didn't recall seeing it there the last day. I sat and picked it up, my curiosity getting unbearable. 

_"Dear Hajime,_

_I know you've planned to spend your Christmas alone, so have I. But.. I don't want you to be alone! It'd be sad.. I want to make you happy! I don't know if my presence is warmly welcomed at your place"_

I raised one eyebrow. "Definitely no. You're a fucking stranger who invites himself on their own not caring what the host thinks about it..." I sighed and kept reading.

_"but still.. I'll show up around the evening with a little present for you. I have no intention in interrupting your time, I know my place, but I need to show you that I care. That I love you. That I need you more than anything else... I want you to know how I feel. Ahh and that's actually all. Sorry for writing so much, it's fine if you won't read it!_

_Sincerely Nagito."_

"Well. That wasn't as bad as I've been expecting.. haha." I wiped away some sweat from my forehead. "He just wants to give me a present... isn't it kind of nice of him?" I wondered. I was treating the stalker as a rather not sane, not really nice person who dared to interrupt my normal life more than frequently. This sudden letter, decorated with sweet hearts and candy canes, made my heart to skip a bit tough. No one cared about my happiness in the Christmas time. Not even Souda who was usually on a Christmas party with Sonia at that time (on which I was invited, obviously, but since I hated parties I had never gone on any).

I looked at my phone. It was still around the noon. I would be late to work, but today I didn't have to go there. I had a day off, but.. laying there and doing nothing was pointless, so I decided to go there anyway; who knows maybe I'd get a promotion for being a good worker..?

And so I went there and worked till the late night. I totally forgot about Komaeda and his declaration of bringing me a gift, I thought it didn't really matter. It was just some gift after all, nothing to be scared of or excited for.

Around 10pm I exited my workplace (my boss was insisting me to; she said I can't waste my holiday on working), I was wandering for a while and looking at happy couples all around me. Laughing, looking at colourful lights and beautiful Christmas trees.. kissing, holding hands... No I wasn't envious. Not at all.. okay. Maybe a bit. But it could be understood; not even I wanted to be alone on that day. As a kid I had always dreamed to spend Christmas with my family, but they never celebrated any, since they believed that it was just a waste of time and that for what reason should they celebrate it if they didn't even believe in God?

Yeah.. in other words they said fuck off to the Christmas spirit. As a kid I was finding it as pretty traumatizing; every family was happy or at least pretended to be happy on that time, but not my family. They had my child dreams up in their asses.

I yawned and slowly opened the door. I scented some weird aroma. "Cinnamon..? No wait.. it's the smell of gingerbreads. Haha I loved that scent as a kid, didn't I?" I breathed it in and went into my house, then suddenly stopped. "Huh, wait- I haven't bought any gingerbreads...." I said my thoughts aloud then noticed something. Or more like a few things.

A Christmas tree decorated with tons of bubbles. A long string with small colourful lights hanged up above my head. I went to the kitchen following the sweet scent. Then.. I saw a person in a lace apron turned back to me and taking out freshly baked gingerbreads out of a cooker. It was him - Komaeda. There was no mistake; I saw him at the cafe that day after all... I wouldn't mistake him for some other person, it was him, there was no mistake.. his hair was just too uncommon. Too beautiful.

He was humming something—a Christmas carol most likely—and he probably didn't know I was already home. I tapped his shoulder gently and he jolted rapidly, gingerbreads scattering all around him. "Jesus!" he shouted loudly, slowly turned towards me, his face showing surprise and a bit of remorse. "I- ahh.. welcome back, Hajime." he said bashfully, his cheeks heating up. _He's acting so much like a nearly married wife, whoa..._ I thought and chuckled softly. I wasn't saying anything, which was making the other feel awkward, and his cheek turning even more red. "I-I swear, I was going to only give you a p-present.. but you weren't home.. and I had been waiting and waiting to give you it personally.." he looked on the floor, kneeled down and started picking up some of the fallen cookies. "I wanted to see your smile... I had to see it. It gives me life.. seeing it would be like receiving a blessing." he smiled a bit creepily, but I decided to ignore it.

"And seeing your home so empty.. no Christmas tree... no lights.. the lack of sweet scent of cinnamon and gingerbreads... it made me sad. Your home seemed empty and cold. I-I am so sorry... I did something not really needed, didn't I? I..  I-I am.." tears started gathering up in his eyes.

I helped him with picking up the stuff from floor. "It's fine.. okay?" I hesitantly reached my hand towards his hair— after all him being here and decorating my house was kind of freaky, if it was someone else doing it, it'd scare the shit out of me.. but it was _him_ , so it was fine. Kind of. I didn't mind it.. I even appreciated his effort—and patted it gently, slowly, calming down his sobbing. "I... uhhh.." I tried to find the right words to say, but it was hard since the situation wasn't normal, I'd say a rather weird one and it was quite hard for me to express myself properly. "appreciate your effort. You did a good thing for me.. I think." my cheeks became a bit rosy, and my voice cracked in the middle, but he didn't mind it.

"Y-you do..?" he looked up at me. "Really?" his eyes were sparkling.

"Y-yeah." I nodded. "Would you want to.. eh... stay here with me tonight..? Could we.. I dunno.. celebrate Christmas together? If you are fine with this that is..." I wasn't sure what I was saying. Words were just escaping my lips on their own will.

Komaeda blinked a few times and gaped. I quickly proceeded to explain myself, before the awkwardness of this whole situation would kill me. "It's just that.. m-my childhood dream can finally come true and my inner child speaks through me haha." I looked over him studying his face; his lips turned into a sweet smile, and eyes seemed warmer than ever before. An angel - that was how he looked to me at that moment. 

He grabbed my hands and squeezed them so tightly that I could literally feel his loud heartbeat. The atmosphere became pretty tense, we were looking into each other's eyes and not saying anything till Komaeda broke the silence. "Hajime.." I gulped and awaited his words. "You're hard." his sudden claim had taken me aback. My whole face flushed in embarrassment, pupils dialled.

I looked down. "H-huh..? No, I-I am not!!" I shouted at him, my breath unstable. "I-I... I am not even aroused to begin with!" I pouted. "You perv.." I frowned.

"Haha, calm down~" he chuckled, a teasing smile showed up on his pale lips. "I was just joking around, though, I can't believe you have fallen for this one for even a sec!" he smiled widely and stood up from his knees and so did I. "You're adorable." he said, while looking at me in a weird way, which I didn't like.

"Thanks..." I said reluctantly, my hand brushing through my dark brown hair.

"Is your offer still.. a thing?" he tilted his head and took off the apron. "I mean.. I'd gladly spend Christmas with you. Will you let someone like me to stay by your side a-at least this one time..?" he made puppy eyes.

"Yeah.. sure, whatever." I looked away shrugging. "I asked for it after all, but.. it's just today. Promise you will treat this day afterwards like a dream, okay? Like if it has never existed to begin with." my expression turned into a serious one, Komaeda's on the other hand looked like if he was in pain. "You are.." I coughed. "I can't treat you like a normal person. You have caused me a lot of trouble.. b-but just today.. I want you to be with me." I looked down; sad smile plastered on my lips. He cupped my chin and closed the distance between us. "...can you stop staring at me? It's uncomfortable." I smiled nervously.

"No, but you can always close your eyes, right?" I tensed up and although I could just push him away, which I should do, I closed my eyes obeying him. "Awww, how decent! Obeying me like a good boy, huh?~" I swallowed down; how come I was actually enjoying being told what to do?  

His hand laid on the back of my neck, I felt a cold string touching my delicate skin. I frowned even more. "It's done; you can open your eyes." he said happily. And so I did, he grabbed my hand and leaded me to the mirror in my bathroom. "Do you like it?" he said unsurely.

I looked at the object on my neck, it was a silver necklace with a clover pedant. It had some shiny green gems which were imitating the leaves. It was really pretty. "I love it.. w-wasn't it expensive though..?" I looked over him hesitantly. 

He waved his hand. "Don't worry! You're worth all the money!" he sneered at me.

"Aww.. I feel bad.. I can't accept such an expensive present..." I wanted to take it off, but he placed his hands over mine.

"Shhh.. keep it. Please." he insisted. "I want you to have it..!" he said almost pleadingly.

"O-okay..." I turned towards him. "I.. don't have anything for you though.." I blushed sheepishly.

He lifted up my chin kissing me gently. "You can pay me off with your body~" he said while drawing circles on my arm.

"Huh. HUH?! No, you fucking-!!!" he placed hands over my mouth.

"I was just joking, shhh." he hushed me with his soft soothing smile. "It wasn't a good joke, was it? Haha.." he laughed awkwardly.

After I had calmed down, I smiled. "Not really." I stuttered. There was a minute of silence. "Are you up for a tea?" I asked.

He nodded and soon we both were sitting on a couch together enjoying warm ginger tea with honey and the gingerbreads which were left untouched from the dropping incident.  Komaeda blew his tea to cool it off a bit. "Hajime.. I was wondering.." he took a sip. "Don't you feel lonely being here all alone and so on..?" his eyes were peering at me from time to time.

"Sometimes." I took a sip too. "How about you? Do you have any friends, family..? I've been always wondering.. what is the deal with your family?" my eyes focused on his lips for some weird reason. 

"They are dead." his voice was blank.

"Dead..? For how long?" I felt a sudden pain in my chest; it hurt me to hear that he had a hard life.

"They died in a plane crash, when I was a little boy." my expression must've expressed some very clear concern, because he said "Don't worry, though! It isn't such a big deal anymore. I have accepted it already years ago. Thanks to you." he stated, his eyes assuring me that it really was fine and I shouldn't be worried.

"Oh.. I understand. My condolence." I said, while looking warmly at him. "I wonder why me then.. why thanks to me and furthermore, why are you so obsessed with me not someone else.." I almost finished my tea.

"Well.. it's a story for some other time." he smiled teasingly. "More importantly.. I saw you staring at my lips. Is it that you want me to kiss you or do I have something on them..?" he laughed softly.

My cheeks became rosy. "I-I uhh.. I didn't even notice, I was doing it.. sorry-" I tried to brush off the topic.

"Don't be.. haha. Hajime.. tell me. Have you ever had a lover?" he tilted his head.

My muscles tensed up. "N-no..? I haven't. I've always been focused on studying..." I said, while sighing. _Why am I answering his questions..? He shouldn't know these kind of things about me..._  "What about you? Have you ever had a girlfriend?" I asked straightforward. I was curious, I couldn't help myself.

"That's so mean.." he bit his lips and placed the mug down on the table. "You _know_ that you're all that matters to me." he glared at me.

"I.." I shifted uncomfortably. "I-I guess, but it didn't have to always be like this, right? There must've been some other people you liked before me..." he moved a bit closer to me and stayed silent. His glare getting more and more deep and unpleasant; almost as if he was looking into my soul.

"Hahaha, never mind. Forget. I don't really want to hear your answer..." I took his mug and went to the kitchen. As soon as I came back I felt warmth in my heart. Seeing him and the decorations, seeing it all.. it just.. made me feel happy. "Thank you.." I murmured.   

Komaeda looked over me surprised. "You don't have to feel gratitude towards me, Hajime." he said sheepishly, his eyes wandering around the room uncomfortably. "It.. maybe true that I did something good for you, but you _know_ how disgusting I am and that you shouldn't trust me..." his voice seemed somehow off, it had a note of something suspicious, maybe even dangerous. "You _know very well_ my hidden motive." he looked straight into my eyes, his stare giving me goosebumps. "And that.. I won't forget about this night no matter  how desperately you would ask me to do so.." he stood up from the couch.

"I-I.." I looked down in defeat. "It's fine. I don't mind you remembering it anymore.." I smiled sadly.

"Huh.. a sudden change of mind?" he cocked his head, his white locks falling further onto his shoulder. "Not that I mind it. I'm happy to be allowed to remember that I was the first one to celebrate Christmas with you~" he smiled cheerfully.

"N-no... I just think it's pointless to ask you for it. And anyway.. if this night is so important to you, treat it like a present from me; a payoff for the necklace." I traced my fingers through it, my hands shiver, when fingertips made contact with the cold metal.     

"Awwww, thank you, Hajime!" he hugged himself from overwhelming happiness. "It's so sweet that I can't take it anymore... can I ask for one more thing?" his words followed a shaky breath.

"What kind of thing?" you could sense doubt in my voice.

"Well...." he blushed and got closer me. "Don't push me away.." his hands were already reaching into my direction. "I missed so much.. t-touching you.. please hold still." he said firmly, his hands landing on my chest and sliding up and down, very slowly, as if he was doing it just to piss me off.

"Is.. is touching me _that_ nice..?" I frowned. I couldn't find anything fascinating about this action. Why was it making him to look so happy..?

He smiled creepily instead of answering me, his breath getting more and more heavy as he kept touching me through my clothes. I made a step back; I was getting more scared with every past second. Then I felt being pushed down on the couch behind me. "H-huh..?" I let out a startled sound. I looked into his eyes, which was a big mistake, and saw desperation, a kind of need which I couldn't understand and on top of that unstoppable passion.. I felt paralyzed by the intense feelings hidden behind his gray eyes. 

His lips crashed on mine, the kiss was rough even though his lips were the softest one I had ever kissed (and the only one actually haha). "I could buy you something more connected with Christmas.." Komaeda frowned, while touching the necklace and partly my skin.

"Well.. I like the gift. Why clover though? Does it mean anything to you? Is it significant?" I tilted my head, curiosity was shining brightly in my olive eyes.

He shifted above me. "Y-yes.." he blushed and looked as if he was about to cry. "It means so much more to me than you could ever imagine, believe me." he lowered himself leaning towards me and kissed my forehead gently. "I wish you haven't forgotten about me..." he whispered to my ear, I could feel something cold falling onto my face; bittersweet tears. "Bye." he said, while getting off from me. "I won't give up on you no matter what." he smiled sadly, yet I could clearly see that he was very determined.

"H-huh? Wait.. it's not even midnight yet... can't you.." I flustered.

Komaeda flinched. "Hajime? Don't tell me you want me to stay here overnight?" he chuckled lightly as if he didn't believe it at slightest.

"Yeah, I do. Do you have a problem with that?" I muttered, my cheeks were dusted with bright pink. "I.. can't see you as a normal person, you seriously disgust me. But.. I can't disagree that you calm me down. You make me feel.. peaceful and.. kind of happy." I sat back on the couch and hid my face behind my knees.

"Stand up." he demanded. He was hiding his hands in his pockets, his expression puzzled, too hard to uncover.

I stood up, he approached me. "Is playing with my feelings fun for you?" his eyes were blank, I felt endangered.

"P-playing..?" I tensed up. "I wouldn't do something as cruel as-" he lifted my chin up, it hurt and was uncomfortable.

"What is your deal then?" he pushed me against the wall. My back hit it strongly, I had to cough. "Why do you act like this tonight?" he kept questioning me, while my knees started getting weaker and weaker. I was trembling.

"I-I don't know!" I coughed one more time, "I just.. I... f-feel.." I started sobbing, his hold on my shoulders weakened, and his eyes went back to normal. I could see remorse in them. "lonely, when you're not with me I guess..." I started crying uncontrollably. "C-can't I trust you at least tonight? Is it _that_ weird? Can't I act as i-if.. we were a couple and not just a stalker and victim..?" I looked into his eyes begging.

He let me go, his eyes expressed something incomprehensible. Fear, disgust, happiness, joy - I had no idea. It was far too enigmatic to me.

"Y-you.. and.. oh..." he blushed. "You want us to pretend?" he frowned. "Are you sure? I'm not a good person for it, I'm not attractive, very obsessive, can hurt you very easily... even i-if it's just one night... I love you. I don't know how will it end up..." he swallowed down, his hands were trembling as well as the rest of his body. "If I was your boyfriend I would do many bad things to you... don't push your luck." he looked at me seriously although I could see without much effort that he was very up to my proposition. "Especially since I'm the lucky one here." he sneered and got closer to me. I placed my hands on his chest to keep the distance between us sensing his rapid heartbeat as the side effect. 

"Bad things..?" I shook my head. "I don't give a shit about it! Nagito.. I.."

"You are fine with me taking advantage of your kindness..?" he made sure once again. "I don't understand what you will gain from all of it.. b-but.." he breathed out, his breath felt warm against my neck. "I don't need to. Just be sure I won't waste this opportunity that I was given.." he blushed heavily and suddenly sucked on the skin of my neck leaving there (most likely) a hickey.

"W-what are you doing?" I tried to push him away, but I failed.

"Aren't I your boyfriend now..?" he smiled mischievously. "Isn't it what couples do?" he tilted his head innocently. "I'm just doing what a good boyfriend would do~" he licked the place which he was sucking just a few seconds before, it hurt but made my heartbeat loud as fuck.

"B-but.. I wanted to just spend some nice time with you, I didn't mean that I want to do such things with you..." my lips turned into a small pout. I wanted to end the deal, but it'd be wishful thinking that he'd accept it. So I didn't.

"Huh? Are you taking back your word? You don't want us to pretend after all..?" he caressed my lips with his thumb.

"N-no.. it's not like this, I just-" he pinned my hands up making me so surprised that I didn't know what to say anymore.

"Then shut the fuck up." he said coldly. It made a big impact on me, since cursing wasn't something I would expect from him. Dirty talk yes, indeed, but not cursing. I had been gaping at him for a while, before he snickered, caressed my chest through the shirt, discarded my green tie and undid the first few buttons. "That's better. I like you more, when you're quiet.." he said teasingly. _Is he pretending or.. is he just being himself?_ I frowned.

His lips pressed to mine, my eyes widened as I wasn't expecting him being so eager. After a few seconds he pulled away, we both were huffing heavily. "I'd forget.. merry Christmas." he said before kissing me once again, this time the kiss lased for way longer. He bit into my lip.

"Yeah.. merry fucking Christmas." I gasped out, my hands felt numb; he was holding them too tight. He chuckled at hearing my words which made me feel salty. His chuckles always were light, soft and carefree as if he didn't give a flying shit about my thoughts of him. On the other hand they were making me feel calmer and more relaxed.

 

**Souda's POV**

I wanted to pay Hajime a visit. We never really hanged out in the Christmas time and I thought it would be nice to change it. I cared about him in my own way and didn't want him to think otherwise. I was a bit drunk, okay.. quite drunk, but he wouldn't mind it, would he?

I approached his door and wanted to knock, but.. then I suddenly came up with some 'nice' idea. To surprise him and appear before him out of nowhere, maybe even sing for him some Christmas carol to piss him off, in a friendly way of course, no offense.

I opened the door softly to not make much noise. I was disturbed by hearing some... weird sounds. Heavy breathing, gasping..? My brain didn't have a clue what was going on though, so I went in anyway not really caring of consequences. And then saw in distance Hajime kissing with someone.. in a rather passionate way I'd say. He was pressed against the wall, his hands pinned above his head. _Ohkay.. that.. is some really kinky stuff_ \- I thought. Seeing this made me feel sober straight away. I wanted to exit that place unseen, so I made a few steps back, but then stumbled on something falling right onto my face. I groaned. Everything was spinning for a while.

When my vision got better I saw the other person—it was a man who seemed pretty familiar, I didn't know where I had seen him, but still.. I had that strong déjà vu feeling—being pushed back by Hajime who was now blushing in embarrassment. "I-I am sorry.. haha." I said while pulling myself up from the floor and checking if I injured my forehead. I luckily didn't, thank God.  

Hajime frowned. "I-it's not like you have interrupted us.. a-anything. You see we.. we weren't.. it's not like that. We were just ehh.." he tried his best to come up with something, he wasn't a good lair though. Poor guy. "He.. was... I-I.. uhh.. it's-"  

The white haired man bursted with laugh. "S-stop it, Hajime!" he kept laughing, his hands wrapped around his abdomen. "you're making it so much worse.. than it was to begin with." he was laughing so hard that even some tears appeared in his eyes.

I stood up and flicked some dust off my pants. "Ahh.. then I'll get going. Uhh.." I looked on the side. I definitely felt uncomfortable, but mainly awkward.

"Souda, wait-" Hajime grabbed me by my sleeve. "W-we are not dating! It's hard for me to explain our.. ehh.. 'relationship' though." he bit his lip. I got a closer look at him; his shirt was barely buttoned up, most of the buttons were undone, his tie was discarded, his cheeks still rosy... I didn't need to be a Sherlock Holmes to add up the facts. They were, obviously, then why wasn't he honest about it? I wouldn't judge him. He didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth?

"Hajime?" the man tilted his head confused. "Lying to your friend is not good, you know?" he shook his head and sighed in disapproval and clear disappointment.

Brunet turned back on his heels towards him. "What the heck- lying? I am not-" the man seemed innocent and totally honest about his words, Hajime on the other hand seemed wordless as if he couldn't understand what was going on.   

"We _are_ dating, right?" he smiled sweetly to the other one. Hajime gaped, while the albino approached me and shook hands with me. "I'm sorry for this whole situation.. I'm Nagito Komaeda, Hajime's boyfriend. I work as a waiter in a cafe. I wish we were introduced in better circumstances... I apologise once again." he smiled sadly. He seemed like a very nice person with who I could get along. I liked him, he had a nice aura and was very polite. Hajime had a nice boyfriend!      

"Ahh it's fine! No problem." I smiled with my usual shark smile. "I mean.. as long as Hajime is happy I-" suddenly I was interrupted.

"YOU LIL SHIT-!!" Hajime shouted at the white haired man who only chuckled in answer. "I'LL BEAT THE-" his lips were sealed with Nagito's hand.

"It's alright, Hajime. We don't need to hide our relationship anymore, don't you think? People will judge us, obviously, homosexual relationships are kind of a taboo and many disapprove them.. think it's something bad.. but there are people like your friend who can understand! Who are fine with such and even support them.." he smiled sincerely.

"Oh yes.. indeed!" I grabbed Hajime's hands. "You have my full support Ha-" he seemed as if he was going to kill someone, I got scared. "ji.. m-me... haha I-I'll get going, we can talk later, right?" I smiled unsurely, a drop of sweat rolling down from my forehead.  

"Mhm." he murmured angrily, while frowning and trying to stay calm. I got out of his house as soon as I could and thought that it was a good idea to drink some beer to ease the awkwardness I've still felt.  

 

**back to Hinata's POV~**

The door closed leaving us all alone again. I was feeling more than angry, but who wouldn't? He used all the cards he had, against me and did it in such a way that I felt trapped, as if I was caught up in his game and didn't see any route of escape from it. He was playing unfair. I could expect it from a person who thought it'd be a good idea to stalk their crush on a daily basics....

I forced myself to look at him, he was smiling in such a sweet, innocent and pure way that it made me feel unwell. I had no words for him. "Are you mad, Hajime?" he ask softly, his face seemed even a bit concerned.

"No, I'm not." I sighed and massaged my hands.

"Really?" he blinked a few times, "Am I forgi-!?" I pushed him down on the floor and straddled him, while he groaned in pain. He coughed, "Th-that wasn't nice.." he laughed sadly.

"No, it wasn't." I agreed and started struggling with myself; I felt rage, pure rage. I wanted him to pay me off for everything. The things he did for me today, him spending Christmas with me, being kind and understanding for once, hearing about his childhood.. it all blinded my eyes. "I shouldn't have trusted you." I said more to myself than to him, I felt deceived.

"I just.. fmggh-" I shut him up.

"Say one more word and I will cut your tongue off." I said sharply, while leaning to him. He nodded obediently. I reached my hand towards him, but stopped midway.

I felt literally disgusted by my own self; what I was going to do to him? Use him as an outlet of my anger..? Sexually harass him to show him how fucking bad idea it was to mess with me..? I groaned. "I regret trusting you.. what have you done to me? What have I became because of you?" I smiled in pain. Komaeda was silent. "You can speak now, I.. take back my words.." I said reluctantly. "Try to defend yourself." I said, while smiling sadistically not really conscious of it. 

"H-Hajime... I.. shouldn't use that situation in the way I did, I know. You have all the right in the world to be angry." he smiled warmly, it pissed me off even more that his eyes were looking at me so softly and lovingly. I groaned, his words didn't sooth me at all. "But.. is it such a big deal?" he caressed his own lips, thinking.

I frowned strongly. "What do you mean?" I asked, my hands holding him tightly—ready to cut off his blood supply and make him suffer—serving as a warning to not mess with me even more.

"I-I mean.." he jolted a bit in pain, I didn't loosen the grip though. "Aren't we _almost_ like a c-dhnhnghh!" I shut him with my hand.

"Letting you to speak wasn't a good idea.." I sighed. "No? Not even _almost_?" I said without any doubt then suddenly he bit into my hand. "Ouch-!! F-fuck, what the- You asshole, it h-hurt like—" the pain was rather distracting so when Komaeda got from under me and changed our positions I couldn't stop him nor react to his action properly. Before I could count to ten I was laying under him, my hands handcuffed to the table, and he was sitting between my legs making me feel more than uncomfortable. "Don't tell me.." my face darkened. "Were you planning this from the very beginning..?" you could see some disgust in my eyes, but mostly disappointment and fear.

"Yeah, I can't say I didn't, since I came here with the handcuffs, riiiight?" he smiled brightly. "I know that you can find it not that nice at the beginning.." he undid the rest of my buttons. "for that I apologize..." he said with a bit of remorse, just a bit. "But I'm going to make you feel good..! I may be worthless, but I know how to please you, believe me~!" he was so excited that he started drooling even.

I tried to free my hands, but the chain was too strong. They looked like cheap Christmas handcuffs that you could find in almost every sex shop around the Christmas time—not that I had been into any, I just knew—so why were they so hard to break..? After a minute of struggling—Komaeda seemed to be enjoying seeing as my hopes, of getting away from him, were slowly dying—I gave up. I felt so much hatred towards him for the very first time; I kept forgiving him and trying to understand, but he didn't seem to appreciate my efforts, he just did whatever he wanted. As always.

"Y-you're not an angel..." I looked away focusing my gaze on the floor.

"No, I'm not.. That's so sweet that you were thinking so nicely of me for even a sec, aww..~" I couldn't guess, when he was being serious and when just messing around anymore. "You know..." he got closer to me, his hand landed in a _very wrong_ place.

"It's not like I'm not aware that I'm doing something wrong.." he undid my belt, I didn't felt motivated to fight him back anymore. "I am! I bet I don't look very aware of it tough, do I?" he smiled innocently, while undoing the button and unzipping the pants, then pulled them down not taking them off completely. "I-it's just.." his hands flinched. "I can't help myself! I want you so much that it hurts and waiting for you to reciprocate my feelings would take too long.. months.. years... decades..? I don't know.. maybe even a whole eternity..?" he placed his hands on his own knees. I could try to talk to him, but I knew it wouldn't work, so all I could do was to keep listening to him and waiting for some opportunity to end all of this. "Why do I need to wait then?" he tilted his head. "I want to spent every minute of my life with you, Hajime.. can't I?" he looked at me sadly. "Isn't it good to not waste the time when we could be together?" his lashes flattered.

"..." his way of thinking was built on very wrong fundaments; I didn't even know what to correct in what he had said, everything was wrong about it, even though it sounded somewhat sweet. "Nagito..." I swallowed down choosing my words carefully. "I can understand you.. to some degree, alright?" my smile twitched. "I believe that you love me.. a lot. But don't you think it'd make me hate you if you took advantage of me now..?" I studied his new expression. "Do you want me to hate you?" I asked a bit differently.

"I-I.." he blushed sheepishly. "Hajime. Stop messing with my head-!!" he pouted. "I've already decide to-" I interrupted him.

"Harass me? Abuse me? Rape me?" I tilted my head, his eyes widening. "I have a deal; if you free me now..." Komaeda looked at me curiously with a bit of doubt. He probably wasn't sure if I was just trying to stop him or really trying to make a deal with him. He gave me a questioning look, his shifting hand on my lap reminding me that I need to rush. "I'll date you for real." he blushed heavily at what he heard, his pupils dialled, his breath was shaky, he seemed kind of frightened, really memorised for sure.. overjoyed too? Maybe.

"A-are you kidding me?" he asked unsurely, "Y-you.. you can't be serious... you don't even love me..." he got further from him which I appreciated because I finally didn't have him between my legs, thanks God.

I shrugged and smiled softly. "I am serious; I'd rather date you than let you to.. harass me." I shivered. "And I know you would keep coming back and never give up on me.. so" I sighed, "Even though I don't think I love you.. I'll agree to being your.. ehh.. lover." I said the words slowly, with doubt. "It's a good deal, don't you think? Look; I'm being very nice here so better appreciate at least it this time, okay?" I said salty.

Komaeda started crying loudly, "H-Hajime.. I don't know what to say..." he sobbed and hid his head in his hands. "I swear I will treat you well from now on! I swear that I won't disappoint you..!" I didn't trust his words fully, but still treat them as a promise between us. He threw himself on me all of sudden. "I love you.." his tears were falling onto my chest, making me shiver, while his hands started unlocking the cuffs. "You're free now~" he said, while sniffling and smiling happily.

I stretched my fingers a bit. "Thank you.." I sighed in relief. "Finally." I smiled and laid down on the floor. "You know that I haven't forgiven you anything, right?" I said harshly and lifted up on my elbows. "A deal is a deal though; I'll keep my word." I fell onto floor once again feeling exhausted and in need for a good rest.

 _Is it just his luck that everything ended up just as he wanted..?_ I thought to myself. _At_ _the beginning he was nothing more than a stalker, then I asked him to pretend my boyfriend and now.. he actually is my boyfriend.. strange. But I guess.. it couldn't be helped? Haha.. he is so stubborn and determined.. with his motivation he would win me sooner or later, wouldn't he?_ I laughed a bit and started falling asleep.

"H-hey, Hajime? You can't sleep here, it's not healthy for y.." I didn't hear the whole sentence, because I was already sleeping.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it~ Anddd I have a question; is it a better idea to make another chapter of this bonus or go back to the actual story? :0 Anyway, I hope you guys are enjoying your holidays! (btw- has anyone noticed that I didn't write anythig about Hajime pulling his pants up? I plainly forgot XD)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Christmas bonus is over and now the time has came to continue the actual story~ It's a rather short chapter, I know.. sorry for it ;w; I'll write more the next time..! I hope you'll enoy the chapter anyway tho.. (I haven't corrected the mistakes yet, so ehh sorry for the eventual ones)

Nagito and I were walking ahead together. He was holding onto my hand very tight, it felt bad and good at the same time. Bad because it made me feel overmuch conscious about my sweating hand (oh god, believe me I was scared that he'd think I'm disgusting by sweating so much), and good because... it honestly felt like the most romantic moment of my life, like a scene from a cliché romance movie reserved for teenage girls only. How was it possible that I was there—walking hand in hand with a really handsome white haired man, who was totally my type—on something that couldn't be anything else than a date..?

I smiled unconsciously. "Haha.. that's so weird." I said to myself, while staring into distance. 

Komaeda stopped walking making me feel plainly confused. "I-Is it..?" he stuttered a short question; his features slowly showing how awfully distressed he was. "I bet it is... being here with me... someone who is just disgusting. Hahaha.." he looked down, his lips turned into a small yet disturbing smile.

"You're not..." I wanted to soothe him, cheer him up. He looked at me, his eyes were widened so much that I wondered if it was even healthy.

"Hajime. Poor Hajime.." he smiled creepily. I inched away from him feeling that he was about to start talking weird shit once again. "Didn't you say that it seems wired? Me and you.. going out somewhere together as if we were a happy couple..? Didn't  **you** say it, Ha-nhhnhg..!" I put my hands on both of his cheeks and added some pressure making him unable to speak and as a side effect also to look a bit funny. I chuckled at the sight of Komaeda's face looking adorable as fuck, while being enveloped with my tanned hands.

"Oh shut it, please." I let go of his cheeks, flicked his forehead, and he jolted being surprised by the sudden piercing pain I delivered him. "I didn't mean that." I accented firmly, my olive eyes gazed deeply into his pair of greyish orbs.

He seemed to me a bit like a startled animal, it could be my imagination though. "I've.. already accepted you. Or at least I am trying my hardest to accept you..." I said hesitantly. "I consider you as someone.. y-you know.." my voice was revealing how hard it was for me to be honest with him, "closer than a friend? So.. us going out somewhere doesn't feel shameful to me at all." I shrugged trying to seem cool and relaxed. I hated to show others my true feelings. I usually managed to keep myself calm, almost not showing any signs of distress, but with him.. it was a hard thing for me to do. I couldn't. His little smirks and sneakers were always making me feel at edge as if they were casting curses on me. I both loved and hated it. He was actually the only one able to make me feel that way. 

He sighed in relief and held my hand tighter. "Ahh.. Hajime is so kind~" he chuckled. "I bet if I'd fallen for any other person than you and had done the same things to them as to you, I'd have been already in prison, hahaha." he laughed softly, his laugh appeared to me a bit too carefree as if he didn't give a fuck about the possibility of him getting into trouble for all his doings. "But.. here I am.. today with you... holding hands.. a-and we now... w-we even are.. o-on a date.. ahh-" his cheeks heated up. "I'm so happy!" he announced cheerfully, his white lashes fluttered a bit as he looked lovingly at me.

I smiled back. He had me. I needed to say that I lost to him. But.. he did it in such a way that I didn't mind anymore. If losing to him meant being able to see his beautiful, happy smiles (and the creepy ones too unfortunately-), to pat his white cloud like hair, to kiss his soft lips, listening to his calming voice.. I was all in.

I was more into him than I was aware of.

Suddenly bright lights on the dark night sky gained my attention. They were beautiful, but we were a bit too far to appreciate them fully.

"Oh.. OH." his face turned serious, a bit concerned even. His eyebrows furrowed as if something really bad was happening. "H-Hajime-" he grabbed my hand tighter and started running ahead. "We need to rush!!" he dragged me behind himself. "I-I'm so sorry.. how could I forget..." he gasped out.

"W.. why're.. we running..?" after half of minute I stuttered between my heavy gasps.

"Th.. the fireworks!" Komaeda looked back at me. "I want you.. to appreciate them as much as possible." he smiled warmly, while speeding up. His smile was warm and send a nice feeling up my spine.

I need to say that running in a kimono wasn't the most comfortable thing ever, furthermore I felt sweaty and was out of my breath. I'd definitely pass out, if he didn't stop running out of the blue.

I looked around, while catching my breath. We were standing on some kind of a hill. I looked up, my breath still unstable, but the view was too breathtaking; the lack of oxygen was the last thing I was concerned about. The fireworks, they were just.. glorious. I fell down onto the soft grass pulling Komaeda down with me. He landed clumsily right next to me. I turned my head towards him staring at his pale face; he seemed to be really surprised by the sudden pull, but soon he wriggled closer to me and his features turned to the most delighted ones you could ever imagine. Really. He looked.. definitely too happy. Nontheless, I found it endearing.

After two minutes of silence and us plainly enjoying the fireworks I looked at my companion; he was smirking and gazing me up and down. His cheeks were a bit rosy, some drool was running down from his parted lips... huh. "Y-you look so beautiful.. hehe~" I looked down at my outfit which was.. ehh.. completely destroyed. It was loosened and not even a bit. I was barely wearing it.

"O-OH SHIT- You could've told me to fix it sooner!!" I shouted at him, giving him a quick angry glare and started fixing it nervously. His intense stare at me wasn't helping at all. I felt that I was only destroying it more, but I managed to make it look more or less decent eventually.

He sat on the grass, "No, no. That would be a waste." he stated with serious face. "I wanted to enjoy  _the view_  for the longest I could so.. hehehe..~" he supported his chin on his hands and wiped his drool away. It was a bit pointless, since he still kept drooling. He must've been imagining some nasty stuff... I looked at him with disapprovement and maybe even disgust to some point. But soon all the negative feelings turned into a bitter aftertaste. 

"View, my ass!" I inhaled sharply, "You should've watched the fireworks, since they are more pretty than.." he pushed me gently on the grass, gazed deeply into my eyes and connected our lips in a long, yet very tender kiss. I could see him very clearly only thanks to the full moon's light, which was adding him a bit of mysterious aura.

In spite of enjoying the kiss I was the one who stopped it. "Th.. the photo. Let's make it, before I change my mind, right?" I lifted up on my elbows. He caressed my hair lovingly. "Right.." he said, while sliding his hand into his pocket looking for his phone. When he found it, he positioned the camera before us, slightly at the side and cupped my chin. "Hold still, please~" he said while inching closer to me and finally placing his lips onto mine. As soon as he took the picture he drew himself away from me, looked at his phone's screen and giggled to himself. "awwwwwwwwwww!" he kissed the picture. "It's so cute, ahh, I will print hundreds copies of it and hang them all over my room and-" he hugged himself. "Hajime in makeup is goddess..!!" he was so worked up that I could even notice his shivering. 

I shivered  too, but for rather other reason. I shook my head. "C-calm down, okay?" I laughed awkwardly. "It's just a picture.... nothing too exciting, gosh.." I fell on my back again and sighed. "Ehhh.. I really need to restrict you, if we really want to be a healthy couple..." I smiled to myself. I felt that restricting him wouldn't be the easiest thing ever; I honestly doubted, if it was even possible to begin with, but well. I needed to at least give it a try. He had too much control over me and this.. specific relationship of ours.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote it a long time ago tbh, but I didn't have time to post it ;w; *cough* A-actually I'd post it sooner, but at some point, I forgot that it hadn't been posted yet :'0 Also, oh my.. months have passed since I posted the last chapter x'D I'm gonna work today on another one, so posting it won't take months this time~ maybe just a week or two :3

I was laying on the soft grass and slowly falling asleep since the night was very warm and windless. I didn't bother to look over Komaeda, but I was sure that he was enjoying this simple moment we shared as much as me; beautiful fireworks, the smell of sweet caramel and apples, sounds of a crowd in the background.. it all created a really pleasing atmosphere.

Suddenly I felt something crawling on top of my hand. It was.. warm? To some point.. I couldn't tell, though, it was for sure something living. My eyes widened. It could be literally anything- some bug, it might've been just a blade of grass that was constantly brushing over my hand (it was subtle touch, but not as much, so it had to be something else) or.. it could be a spider. A fucking spider. God. I didn't want to look at my hand (after imagining in my head a black, hairy, ugly creature with small red eyes) and see it for myself, but it was crawling higher now, onto my wrist.. the touch was slight and barely noticeable, it must've been some ugly ass spider. I was so sure of it. It was.. uhm.. a very weird feeling. The thing moved pretty fast along my arm, God, it was giving me chills.

I couldn't bear it anymore resulting in me springing up while screaming loudly as if someone was trying to kill me. I grabbed myself by my head letting out a startled whimper and kneeling on the ground. 

"H-Hajime..?" Komaeda asked trying to gain some of my attention. He lifted up on his elbows and sat up, soon making his way towards me, his hand gently patted my head. "What's wrong?" he said with concern while frowning. I looked at him, his head was slightly tilted on the side as his eyes gazed into mine puzzled. 

"S-s...sp.. " I tried to spell the word, which I was repeating over and over in my thoughts, feeling comically frightened. "Th-there's a fucking spider hiding somewhere in the grass and it tried to crawl onto my hand, Na-" I was taken aback when I heard his devious laugh. "Why the fuck are you laughing.." I said more to myself while looking down frustrated. His laugh was devious yet cheerful, it was hard to put it in words, but it felt as if he was plainly mocking me.  

I hugged my knees tighter still feeling somewhat endangered by the possibility of a small, hairy who-knows-what attacking me at any moment.

"There's no spider...~" he said while brushing my hair away from my face trying to achieve eye contact with me. His gaze was so innocent yet fucking annoying at the same time. He knew something that I didn't. As always.

"W-what the heck..? I swear, I felt it-" he mirrored me sitting in the same way with his legs positioned on either side of me and resting his chin on his arms while looking at me from below.

"God.. Hajime." he smirked at me, his eyes were somehow calming me down in a weird way. "I was just trying to hold hands with you... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." he smiled apologetically, but somewhere deep down I knew he wasn't sorry for it at all. That bastard. Still.. "However, my hands are pretty disgusting, so maybe you weren't that wrong after all.." he put a finger on his bottom lip while looking up at the night sky.

I grabbed his hand making him jolt at the sudden touch. It was soft and very subtle.. he had no hair on his arms, and his hand was almost angelic, similar to porcelain, God, how could I mistake his gorgeous hand for something as disgusting as a spider? There was no way I could mistake it- I frowned deeply, trying to come to a conclusion. "Nagito.. were you trying to s.. scare me?" I asked unsurely. "Did you _fucking_ do it on purpose..?" I scowled and he smirked even wider in response.

"Who knows? Haha.." his smile was revealing his inner evil. "If I had scared you on purpose would you punish me or take revenge in some way..?" he raised one eyebrow while placing his hand on my knee drawing circles with his finger on my thigh and making me crazy. His eyes were tinted with the curiosity which could come off as an innocent one, but I knew that nothing about Nagito Komaeda was innocent, except for his angelic looks perhaps.

_Revenge? It actually sounds like a good plan..._ I breathed in deeply trying to not to smirk. I wanted to scare him too, he _so_ deserved that. I pushed him down while getting on top of him and giving him the best furious glare I only could only pull off. "You'll be begging me to stop _it_ in less than a minute... God, I swear." I said while holding him firmly by his shoulders adding some pressure to make him think that I was really mad at him. 

"H-Huh..?" he blushed slightly. His eyes stared into mine in quite startled yet anticipating way. I smiled fulfilled, his expression was just too good.

"Prepare yourself, because I won't go easy on you-" I slid my hand under his jacket. The way I was straddling him, smiling at him madly and speaking harsh words directly into his ear was just a part of the game. I wanted to egg him on and then don't give him anything he'd expect.

I was surprised when a muffled moan left his lips from all the shifting I did above him, he surely was a needy boy, but I wasn't going to satisfy him, oh no, not today (a/n: this sentence reminds me of that one BTS song haha).

I looked straight into his eyes savoring his excited yet surprised expression and placing my both hands on both sides of his waist and then- I started tickling him ruthlessly. He was laughing so hard and his laugh was so freaking adorable, like.. he totally didn't expect _that_ from all the possible scenarios I bet. It turned out that tickling was lots of fun and a playful smirk was literally plastered on my face through the time being. I soon had to stop all of it though, because his face got really red from both laughing too hard and embarrassment. I giggled at him and so he did in response, but still before I had stopped tickling him I heard a familiar voice, "Uhm.. Hajime..? Is it you?" I guessed from the voice that it was Souda.

My cheeks turned crimson as I realized that the situation looked pretty bad; I was straddling Komaeda, whose legs were kind of wrapped around me, my kimono was pretty messed-up as he 'unconsciously' tugged on it multiple times in the middle of my revenge and we both were panting. Oh my God. I didn't want to be misunderstood—

I wanted to stand up, but that bustard, noticing what I wanted to do, wrapped his legs even tighter around me making me unable to escape and let out yet another of his devious chuckles.

"O-Oh.." not knowing what to do I pulled Komaeda into a deep kiss. I thought that I'd rather pretend that I wasn't who Souda had assumed I was and it _probably_ worked because I heard the sound of footsteps getting farther and farther away. I sighed in relief, but then Komaeda kissed me back, biting my lip teasingly and smiling like the most innocent kid. I looked back and saw Souda and Sonia in a kimono. God, hers was pretty similar to mine. If they both recognized me I don't know how would I explain them the reason to why I was wearing a female kimono and generally the whole situation. 

Komaeda winked at me. "You don't need to thank me, Hajime." he caressed my bottom lip with his thumb. He was such a dick.

"As if I would!" I glared at him angrily, while my lips turned into a small pout and my cheeks grew a slightly red tinge.

"Ha-ji-me~" said Komaeda, after a while with his usual playful voice. The way he spelled my name sent a shiver down my spine. "Since we are already here, why don't we have some fun?" he lifted up on his elbows reducing all the distance and making me to collide with my head directly into his chest. His fingers placed carefully on my hip and traced higher teasing me through the clothing. Silence followed his suggestion. "...ahh. If you don't want to publically have fun with me, I understand! I'm trash, it's more than shameful to show around with me.." he laughed softly into my ear.         

I flinched, my eyes widened and pupils dilated. _W-what does he mean by that? WHat what-- g-goddammit!_ "N-Nagito.. th-that's not a good idea! Not _here_ \--" I blushed, not only my cheeks, but rather my whole face turned crimson. I swallowed dryly and buried my face completely into him and nuzzled against shirt inhaling his sweet scent and wondering what was going on in his head while imagining how would it be to do some nasty things with him with the possibility of being caught by literally anyone who could run upon us at any moment.

I drew myself away and gazed at his face. It looked so oblivious, his eyes were focused on mine and his head tilted in an innocent manner. "Not here?" suddenly he smirked. "Did Hajime imagine something dirty?" he made that devious, teasing expression **yet again** , his eyes seemed to swirl with hope and despair and some drool ran down from his parted in a smile lips. He placed his hand on the back of my neck. "I wouldn't mind.. but..." he bit firmly into my neck making me whimper. _W-why did he--?_ "I don't want to share with Hajime." he pouted, his cheeks puffed. _Oh god how adorable.._ I had thought before he started saying things that definitely weren't cute. "No one can learn, even by a pure accident, how beautiful and incredible you look with lust in your--" he hugged himself. "Ahhh..~" I let out a very startled sigh, after seeing him like that and decided that it'd be better to stop him from going even further with his lustful bullshit talk.

"Okay.. cut this shit, please." I said firmly. "What did you want at the beginning..?" I urged him to continue his previous thought.

His dirty smile was replaced with the completely sweet one making it seem as if he was the purest being in this whole fucking universe. "Oh yes.." he fell onto the grass with his chin up and eyes staring into the back. He placed his hands on his chest and joined his fingers. "They have lots of fun stuff to do out there.. and I thought that if you didn't mind.." his cheeks dusted with pink and head turned on the side. "We could.. have some caramel apples and... just do what other people do.." he peered into my eyes and then broke eye contact with me once again seeming bashful about his suggestion.

I lifted up and pulled him up with me. "Oh, if it's just that then I'm totally up to it." I shrugged and gazed at him warmly forgetting about the uneasiness which I had felt not so long ago.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated any story for what seems like years, omg- It makes me feel like a lazy-ass ;w; But well, I managed to write something today and I hope it's readable and fine :'3 It's quite short tho.. I'll try to write a longer chapter the next time x"3

\- 2 hours later -

 

"..agito.. N-Na.." I gasped out visibly exhausted while falling onto my knees. He stopped in place (since he couldn't move forward anymore because of me) and looked back at me. He had been holding my hand for two hours already and dragging me into various places, from one to another.. he was pretty much acting like an excited kid who was experiencing something for the very first time. It can sound as if I was finding it tiring or troublesome.. but I wasn't at all, to be honest. I enjoyed seeing this innocent and pure side of his. The first hour of walking around had been even pretty much fun for the both of us, but when another one had passed by, I thought that it's a good moment for us to get a rest or something.

"Hmm?" he tilted his head. "Is there something wrong, Hajime?" he kneeled next to me and helped me to stand up from my knees with him.

"Y-yeah.. my feet, my back, my pretty much  _everything_ hurts as fuck..." I complained while sighing.

"I-I see.." he frowned deeply with guilt written all over his face. "Should I carry you to my place then, H-" I shook my head energetically. I knew he suggested it because he was plainly concerned about me, but I just didn't want him to do that. It was too embarrassing.

"N-no, no, no..! I'm good!" I said firmly accenting that I wasn't up to his offer. "I think.. I'll go back home actually." I said after a moment of hesitation.

"Huh." He strengthened the grip on my hand. "Y-your home..?" he asked while looking down. I whined a bit feeling that the grip was a bit too forceful. "Yeah, what's wrong? Where else should I go..?" I tilted my head confused. Nagito was sometimes too hard for me to get. Wait. Who am I kidding, haha. He was almost always confusing me.

"W-we can.. go back together to my house..?" he gulped down and shyly looked into my eyes trying to guess how I felt about his suggestion. But to be honest.. I wasn't up to going back with him. At this point, I got what he was getting at. "Maybe some other time?" I answered sheepishly. "I'm sorry, Nagito, but when I'm with you, it's too hard for me to relax.. believe me." I laughed remembering many examples of that. It wasn't his fault, mostly, I was just feeling tensed up around him, being over conscious about the things he might've done to me and so on.

He let go of my hand and avoided eye contact. "I-I see.. b-but we'll see each other soon, right?" he asked after taking some time. He seemed to feel down about me going away. I felt bad for making him feel like that, but well.. we had just started dating (if I can call it dating), did he expect me to sleep at his place each and every night? I wasn't ready for anything like that yet. He still was.. a stalker. Even though I loved him, past didn't change. It's not like I didn't forgive him those things.. I just needed to have a while.. a long while to slowly develop trust for him.

I kissed his forehead soothingly. "We will, don't worry!" I smiled softly at him and then frowned. "You won't break into my house, will you?" I asked him trying to assure myself that I would get a good rest tonight. After I had confessed to him I didn't think much about his stalker habits, but maybe I should have?

"..." there was this long, suspicious and worrying silence, but finally he said "I can't, can I?" he answered me with a question; sadness was clear in his voice. "H-Hajime would hate me if I did that... I-I don't want to lose you, especially not now th-that.. a-ahh.." he looked into my eyes. They say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul.. I don't know how much truth there is in it, but just by one look into his eyes, I could sense all the pain he was holding back so desperately. At least that was my assumption, I could be mistaken about the feeling I sensed by looking into his light greyish eyes.  _I don't.. don't want to see him like this... but I can't give him what he wants, I can't give him my whole self, n-not yet. I need some more time, Nagito, please, stop looking like this at me.. you make it so much harder for me._

"Ehh.. don't make such a face. Please." I said finally giving in. "I-I'll stop by your place tomorrow after I get back from work, okay?" I looked on the side while playing with my bangs a bit.  _Wait-- I didn't use to have bangs. I need to go to the hairstylist, haha._ I smiled awkwardly. He hugged me tightly. "Ahh, I'm so happy, Hajime!" he said while tightening the hug even more and squeezing me so hard that I was barely able to breathe. "I'll be waiting for you, my love~" he announced cheerfully. He apparently cheered up after hearing that we'd see each other already tomorrow, it relieved me a lot. 

"Awwww, thank you." I blushed a bit and smiled sincerely. Hearing that he would, made me feel that pleasant warmth in my chest. "I-I just want to give you back the kimono.. i-it's not like I'd miss you!" I said while coughing a bit. I didn't want to make him feel too worked up about my visit. He leaned back and kissed me. "Hajime is the cutest tsundere, hehe~" he said while smirking at me. He looked through my lie, it seems. Why did he need to call me a tsundere though? I wasn't a tsundere? I-I think. 

"You can keep the kimono, you know?" he caressed the clothing on my waist and trace his hand down. "It suits you so good, hehe~" his laugh was a bit cringy, just a bit. I didn't dislike it, but it was making it feel as if he was thinking of some perverted stuff and that was exactly what I didn't really like. "I-I'll keep it then.." I said feeling a bit thankful. Even tho I didn't really enjoy wearing kimonos I was still thankful that he wanted to present it to me.

"You will stop by my place either way, right?" he kissed my neck softly. I let out a short sigh. "Y-yeah, I guess.." I ruffled his hair. "I already said that I would, so well, hehe." I didn't want to admit that I wanted to see him tomorrow as much as he wanted to see me.. probably as much. He was hard for me to read, as I said.

"Th-then.. see you tomorrow." I said while trying to wriggle out from the tight hug. "M-mhm~" he purred into my ear finally yet not really gladly letting me go. "Be careful!" he said as I started heading to my home and the distance grew bigger between us. He waved at me. I smiled at him from far away and nodded assuring him that I would be.

As soon as I got home I fell onto my bed. I was so exhausted that I totally forgot about washing off the makeup and brushing my teeth. I didn't even bother myself to take off the kimono. The smell of my own sheets was pretty nostalgic; I hadn't been in my house for the whole day after all.. the silence of it was also pretty much so. Thanks to Nagito I hardly ever could have such a peaceful rest. "A-ahh.. so that's silence, hehe.." I smiled silly to myself while turning on my back and reaching my hands up as if I wanted to touch the ceiling with them.  _It's kinda lonely.._ I was surprised that I thought so. I usually was the type to enjoy the silence. Yet.. lately Nagito was changing me and making me feel in need of his presence and affection.

"Okay.. I guess it's time to.." I'd fallen asleep before I managed to say 'sleep'.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finally had some time to write~! I'm happy x//3 I hope it'll be enjoyable chapter despite being quite short..!

I was on my way to Nagito's house. I'd decided to visit him before work as a surprise. _I've never really tried to do things which could make him happy.._ a thought crossed my mind and made me scratch my head a bit and frown. I started wondering why I hadn't and after a while, I came to a conclusion; it wasn't because I didn't want to make him happy. I really wanted to actually. It was simply hard for me to switch to treating him as someone more than a creep who stalked me on daily basis and who I happened to hold feelings for. I didn't consider him as a stalker anymore but it didn't change the fact that I still felt unsure about some things concerning our relationship which was technically built on his creepy and disturbing actions.

I sighed. "If I could only forget about the things he did.." I laughed sadly because I knew it'd take time and I was afraid that it might've been hurting his feelings. "or at least grow to find it all as something positive and not creepy and a traumatic experience." I felt bad that I kept rethinking past and remembering the lack of respect he held for me when he started stalking me.

My deliberations were soon cut as I stood before his door. I gulped down feeling unsure if it was really the right thing and maybe if I should just go back home and get ready to work. "U-uhm.." my hand trembled as I reached to his doorbell and suddenly it froze as I realized something. "What if he's still sleeping.. oh. I don't want to wake him up." it wasn't an excuse to go back home, I just.. cared about him in my own way. I took a deep breath. _O-okay.. I'll go back if the door is locked._ I promised myself and slowly turned the knob. I didn't know if I should find it surprising or not but either that guy didn't lock his door or he plainly wasn't sleeping anymore. Or both. I laughed as it suited to him to have weird habits or lack of common sense, I should say.

I stepped inside his house which was deadly quiet. It was still a bit before 5am so it wasn't surprising. I made sure to walk quietly in order to not wake him up. I wasn't sure why did I even paid him a visit if there was a possibility I wouldn't even see him and could end up just waiting and waiting for him till the time for me to leave would come.

I laid down on his couch remembering how funny this morning was. I had woken up with mascara smeared all over my face and the kimono was totally messed up for which I felt bad.. I wanted to treasure his gift so I noted in my head to wash it properly after getting back from work. But going back to the makeup.. I looked like a girl which cried because got rejected by her crush or something. It's good no one saw me like that, that'd be embarrassing.     

"Hmm.. what could make him happy." I started wondering while brushing my bottom lip with my thumb without any particular reason. "I know he'd say.. probably something like 'I'm already happy that you're here, Hajime~! It's more than an honor that you want to spend your morning with a pest like me..!' but I still want to do something more for him." imagining him saying that made me giggle a bit as I thought I did a good job at trying to sound like him and also happy because it was always flattering that he treasured my presence that much. "I want to see his reaction to it and I hope it'll be a pleasant one, hehe." I smiled a bit and stretched my arms while yawning. "But still.. I have no idea what kind of thing I could do for him. I suck at cooking so breakfast is out of the question.. I could clean his house here and there but.. it's already perfectly clean so that'd be pointless. Hmm.." I kept wondering while furrowing my eyebrows. "Damn, why am I so boringly unimaginative." I made a sobbing sound and felt quite disappointed with myself.

 _Guess.. I-I can lie down next to him? Hopefully, it'll make him feel happy to see me next to himself when he wakes up._ "Okay, I've decided!" I smiled proudly since I was 99,9% sure it'd work out well and be a good surprise. I wanted to think about him and what he wanted so from all the possible things—even though it seemed simple as fuck and nothing much—I chose this one hoping for it to bring a smile on his face. I could've felt guilty for pushing him away the last evening but my desire to make him happy was genuine.

"E-ehh.. okay. Then.." I stood up and slowly, on my toes, headed to his room. The silence was making me feel nervous. His house seemed dead and the only sounds which were filling it were my shaky breathe and the quick beat of my heart which surely couldn't be heard but it seemed loud to me and it all was making me feel even as nervous as I was doing my best to avoid making any noise. I honestly had no reason to feel nervous, I probably was just affected by the eerie atmosphere. Soon I opened the door.. quietly, painfully slow.. but of course it had to creak. _Great job, Hajime._ I scolded myself. I waited for a minute or two trying to sense any sound which could indicate that my dumb mistake could've woken him up, but silence calmed me down and assured me that I had no reason to worry.

I gazed on his bed. The sheets were folded neatly and the curtains next to the bed were fluttering delicately because of the breeze which was coming out of the opened window. "Wait.." I frowned deeply and stepped back hitting into something warm and sensing something as warm grabbing me by my shoulders. "O-OH MY FUCKING GOD--" I screamed loudly and tensed up. I was so shook I inched forward and hit with my forehead against the half closed door. "H-Hajime..?" I heard a soft giggle, he was barely holding back from bursting with a laugh. "Are you okay?" he added concerned after a moment of hesitation. I turned back to him while groaning a bit, my forehead was hurting. Not badly but still..  

"N-no? I almost had a heart attack, you fucking idoit!" I shouted at him.

"Awww.. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.. you have to believe me..! I really didn't mean to.." he was feeling so guilty that I couldn't feel a bit guilty too. He didn't do anything wrong, it was my dumb idea to try sneaking to his room.  

"It's okay.. I'm sorry too. You just scared the shit out of me. I thought you were asleep, it was so quiet at your house, how come your presence is barely noticeable even at your own house?" I asked him not believing that I could've somehow overlooked it.

"A-ahh.. well. I'm experienced, you see.. I've trained a lot in order to stalk you, haha." he laughed sheepishly. Though he was sheepish he didn't seem guilty, heck, he seemed proud of himself. Damn asshole. I scowled at him yet he didn't seem to notice I was upset and furthermore kept laughing care-freely. "But well." he took a deep breath. "I just was.. _somewhere_." he said expressionlessly.

"Somewhere? Where?" his face didn't reveal any feeling which I found as something.. quite suspicious.

"You don't need to know, Hajime. Don't worry, haha~" he patted my head. I blushed but still felt frustrated; I didn't like it that he tried to hide something from me.

"Okay..?" I said unsurely.

"Aww, don't be like that.. it's nothing important..!" he said apologetically. "A-anyway.. thank you for stopping by my place." he changed the topic and grabbed my hand. "I'm really happy to see you!" his lips turned into a smile which was revealing how delighted he felt about it. "After yesterday.. I thought you hate me." he looked down.

I sighed and hugged him. "No, I don't? I've never said I hate you." I wanted to soothe him but I felt I sucked even at that, being honest about my feelings just wasn't easy for me, I tried. "Good morning btw!" I smiled warmly at him and kissed his forehead.

"It's indeed such a good morning..~" he squeezed me. It felt nice to be so close to him though he squeezed me _a bit_ too tight for my taste, but I didn't mind it. "My beloved Hajime paid me a visit willingly before going to work and at his own account, what's more..! Ahh.. do I deserve to experience such a delight?" he smiled creepily but I assumed it was just his happy smile so I didn't find it disturbing. I was happy to see him happy. I sank my hand into his white, fluffy hair sensing and enjoying its texture softly caressing it.

"Oh." my hand froze once again. "What's wrong, Hajime?" he tilted his head concerned. I softened my expression to not give off a wrong impression. "Nothing.. it's just.." I gazed away from him. "Since when have you been awake?" I asked with a hint of curiosity and concern.

"Oh well.. since.. I'm not sure..." his answer seemed off somehow and he seemed troubled.

"Well. It's fine." I didn't press the topic and kissed him softly on his lips. The sudden kiss surprised him and his surprised look made me grow a small blush. "W-well.. I couldn't cuddle up to you since you weren't sleeping any longer.. but a kiss is okay too, right?"

"Okay? N-no, no, it's not just okay..!" his cheeks got rosy and he tightened the grip on my hand. "Y-you know.. it doesn't happen often when it's you who kisses me. I started thinking you don't like kissing with me.. b-but.. today you've kissed me twice already! I can't, it's too delightful, am I dreaming~?" he drooled a bit. I wiped his drool away surprisingly not feeling disturbed that he drooled over that.

"A-ahh.. well.. you're right." my cheeks got even as blushed as I realized he was right. "I'm sorry.. you know that it's not easy for me to get used to you know.. that we're a kinda couple, right? Since not so long ago things were quite different between us.." I felt a bit embarrassed that I added _kinda_ , to be honest. "B-but today I felt like kissing you, s-so.." he smiled softly and lovingly at me. "I cherish it so much, ahh~!" he announced joyfully while stepping closer to me and kissing me back.

" I love you, Hajime." he added after a moment and kept me close to himself as if he was afraid I'd disappear if he let me go.     


End file.
